Dawn Andrews - "Nothing extraordinary is possible until you're in conversation with the world around you."

Dawn Andrews is a peak performance coach who specializes in working with creative artists in achieving extraordinary lives and careers in entertainment. I talked to Dawn recently about her work with actors, writers, and directors, and how she saw compassion as important in their careers.

"Compassion isn't important in anyone's career, until it is. I find myself living mostly, and maybe unfortunately, in a place of not being compassionate until something presents itself, whether it's my own struggle or the struggle of someone else, but I don't find that compassion is a 'way of being' that I approach life from. And I do see what it costs me, my clients and the world around me to be that way when I'm presented with one of those issues.

I went to go see this guy perform who's a hip-hop scholar, and slam poet. He put together this amazing piece about his travels... The most extraordinary parts of that piece were the parts where I haven't had his experience but yet I could completely relate to the story he was telling. He was sharing a moment where he had traveled to Senegal. His plan was to meet a woman who had given up her life in Lubbock, Texas, and committed herself to spreading the word about female genital mutilation, and trying to get the tribes to stop the ancient and brutal practice. he went to help her.

The way he described it, he expected that, as African-American man, he would drop into Senegal and immediately fold himself into the culture and change the tribal leaders minds because he had the right skin color. [He said] he had this "I am one of them yet I know better than they do" attitude. He arrives, but when he met this tall Swedish woman from Texas, who was married to a Senegalese man and spoke like five different African dialects, it became so abundantly clear how out of his league and out of his element he was because he had put up this whole egotistical view of "how this is gonna go" and who he was in the world. He was "black" but he discovered she was "African." He realized that from where he was coming from he couldn't affect any change.

When he shared that moment I felt both compassion for him, having that veneer cracked wide open, because I could see the child in him in the telling of the story, and the wonder that he had for what was available to him... Regardless of whether I've been to Senegal or not I have had those moments where you think you have a total and complete understanding of how "someone is" or "how something's gonna work," and I've approached it with a coat of armor on. Before that moment he was more committed to being cool and having the situation "wired" than to making the difference that he came to make.

It is so powerful to me that something as simple as a woman speaking a few words in a different language has you drop the act and make yourself completely open and vulnerable and present and available to what's really going on. And so that's what I was meaning when I was saying that compassion isn't important until it is. Usually, it's not there, at least for me, until I realize that my coat of armor is keeping me from an opportunity to connect or see or participate in something that I've blocked myself from. Artists provide that opportunity for people every time they write or perform or share themselves with the world.

The most extraordinary things that I've seen people do, whether it was totally conscious for them or not... the compassion was there. For instance in this guy's performance, he may not have named it as compassion either for himself or the community he found himself in, or for what he was coming to support this woman in doing. But he would not have been available to do the work he did in Senegal and then share it in his performance with me in such a way that I was completely moved and inspired by it, if there wasn't compassion present.

Through his sharing he lit that match in me. In seeing him move through his struggle, of "hi, I'm this guy, and this is how it's gonna go, and I've got all this information," to "oops," crack the egg open, and now I'm see myself in his situation. It gave me permission sitting in the audience not only to be moved by his story but to feel the same way for myself whenever I step up to do anything I think I've got wired -- in coaching people for instance. When working with clients I find this struggle more prevalent in actors. Maybe it's the need to protect themselves, since they are the instrument of delivery as opposed to words on a page or something outside themselves. There is a lot of "putting on the armor." The cost is that the creative choices that come from that place tend not to be very unique or heartfelt or truthful or have the ability to connect with an audience. At least not on a deeper level that has them moved and inspired."

I asked Dawn if she's seen a difference when the armor comes off.

"Oh my god. I'm committed to every artist finding the compassion and to coaching them compassionately. The difference when the armor is off is like seeing the divine channeled through someone else. In its simplest form, you're either in a conversation with yourself, and other people happen to be in your vicinity, or you're present and in a conversation with the world that's surrounding you. Nothing extraordinary is possible until you're in conversation with the world around you."

Wow. I have nothing more to say except for, "Thank you, Dawn!" *

Dawn Andrews - "Nothing extraordinary is possible until you're in conversation with the world around you."

Jon Kabat-Zinn - "interconnectedness is primary... it is the birthplace of empathy and compassion."

The great mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn talks extensively about our relationship to our true nature, and how that relates to creativity, in his book Coming to Our Senses.

"...perhaps you have noticed that the sense of self is telling us all the time that we are not complete. It tells us that we have to get someplace else, attain what needs to be achieved, become whole, become happy, make a difference, get on with it, all of which may indeed be partially true and relatively true, and to that degree, we need to honor those intuitions. But it forgets to remind us that, on a deeper level, beyond appearances and time, whatever needs to be attained is already here, now -- that there is no improving the self -- only knowing its true nature as both empty and full, and therefore profoundly useful.

Knowing that in the deepest of ways, knowing it with the entirety of our being, we can then rest in the knowing itself and act much less self-centeredly in the world, potentially in amazingly creative ways for the benefit of other beings and with an attitude of non-harming and non-forcing. We can do this because we know on some fundamental level, not merely intellectually, that 'them' is always 'us.' This interconnectedness is primary. It is the birthplace of empathy and compassion, of our feeling for the other, our impulse and tendency to put ourself in the place of the other, to feel with the other. This is the foundation for ethics and morality, for becoming fully human -- beyond the potential nihilism and groundless relativism stemming from a merely mechanistic and reductionist view of the mind and of life.

From this perspective, in a very real sense you are not who or what you think you are. And neither is anybody else. We are all much larger, and more mysterious. Once we know this, our possibilities for creativity expand enormously, because we understand something about how we get in our own way and are diminished through our obsessive self-involvement and self-centeredness, our preoccupation with what we think is important but really isn't fundamental."

As I read this, it occurs to me that what Kabat-Zinn saying is something we already implicitly know but rarely acknowledge, and this is the root of what draws us to arts with compassion at their core. That "...we know on some fundamental level, not merely intellectually, that 'them' is always 'us.' This interconnectedness is primary."

The fact that interconnectedness is primary, and that we all implicitly understand that, means that when we see it acknowledged in the arts in different ways, it automatically rings as true to us. It's common sense. How often do we see a character going through something we personally relate to, and find that it moves us.

I watched part of a movie with my wife this weekend. The woman in the film was going through an enormous emotional upheaval, adjusting to her new life as a mother and the shift that caused in her life and in her marriage. And my wife turned to me and said, "here's how I know X is not doing a good job. This is a woman going through something I've gone through myself, almost identically, and I don't feel one bit for her. She's going through the motions."

When I pressed her further about it, later on, Amy said, "It didn't seem real to me and maybe that's because she's not a terribly good actress and she doesn't have anything to draw from. Maybe if you were a good actress you could draw on something else that made you feel powerless in that way and conjure up those feelings in a different situation. But she's never been through that and she's not adept enough at channeling her existing emotions to make it feel real. I don't think you have to be somebody who's done that specific thing in order to portray it but this actress just didn't have the ability to pull it off."

Obviously Amy doesn't speak for the whole world as an audience, but I was surprised to see such a specific example in a major film and to see how this lack of connection was directly by felt by Amy as an audience member. She had a direct relationship to the subject matter but felt nary a whiff of empathy, based on a performance that she perceived as lacking depth.

This is the impact I talked about earlier:

"There's a deep cost to the world that comes from this kind of behavior. We're suffering, and we're being deprived of the things that bind us, that show us what we have in common, that give us hope."

Imagine someone somewhere watching this film. Possibly a woman in a similar situation, facing a new stage in her life, a shift in her relationship to her husband, maybe coming to grips with what it feels like to be a mother and what that means to her. Or maybe it's something else entirely––maybe it's a man watching the film, who might be affected by a theme of feeling powerless in a family situation, or a teenager watching the performance, who might see his or her own mother or father in this performance, might understand them just a little bit.

Except it doesn't happen. The woman, the man, the teenager, they're all being robbed of the opportunity for connection. Not seeing, or even more importantly, feeling, any real connection to the person on screen, the moment passes, and an opportunity is wasted. The person goes on with their life, not knowing they might've been affected––however slightly or profoundly––and their life continues, untouched.

As I said earlier, when talking about my trip with Save the Children to the Navajo Nation, there is a cost to inaction. When you have an opportunity to make a difference in another's life, and you don't, there is an impact.

"There have been plenty of times when I've thought, I don't have the time, I'm tired, I'm busy, someone else will do it. And on this trip I saw the direct impact of the work Save the Children was doing, on real kids. Just like my own kids. And this relates to the arts in the same way. We can choose to remain in a fog, and rob the world of the real impact we have to offer. Or we can take on compassion in our lives and careers and make a difference."

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Jon Kabat-Zinn - "interconnectedness is primary... it is the birthplace of empathy and compassion."

Edoardo Ballerini on listening - "One of the things you're trained to do as an actor.... is listen."

Edoardo Ballerini, is an extraordinary actor and one of the stars of the upcoming film Life is Hot in Cracktown. I talked to Edoardo yesterday about how thoughts on compassion and he started talking to me about listening. I immediately started thinking about that night's two hour Ugly Betty finale, the fancy camera I was holding and whether I should upgrade it, what kind of mileage BMW motorcycles get, and whether I should get an iced coffee or a regular coffee on my next trip to Starbucks. Then I thought, wow, this guy is going on and on, maybe I should pay attention. He might have something to say that makes me look good!

I'm kidding, of course. Edoardo had so much to say that was so insightful, that I split our talk into two bits. This first piece is on listening:


Edoardo pointed out to me that one of the fundamental skills necessary to being a good actor is listening. That it's fundamental to any actor's training, and, as Edoardo pointed out, the skill of listening is "exactly what's needed [to cultivate] compassion."

"We spend most of our lives and days I believe with assumptions about the world around us... especially as the years go by you get a little older, you think you know how things work, you think you know what somebody's going to say to you or what they mean by something, and we stop listening. We stop listening to our friends, our partners, the people we work with, the random person walking down the street, we just kinda shut everything out. The skill of listening... allows you to let go of yourself, understand where somebody else is coming from."

This is strikingly similar to Zen master Shunryu Suzuki's words in his classic book, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind:

"When you listen to someone, you should give up all your preconceived ideas and your subjective opinions; you should just listen to him, just observe what his way is. We put very little emphasis on right and wrong or good and bad. We just see things as they are with him, and accept them. This is how we communicate with each other. Usually when you listen to some statement, you hear it as a kind of echo of yourself. You are actually listening to your own opinion. If it agrees with your own opinion you may accept it, but if it does not, you will reject it or you may not even really hear it.... a mind full of preconceived ideas, subjective intentions, or habits is not open to things as they are."

Since listening is so fundamental to acting, and it's so fundamental to cultivating compassion––accepting another as they are, with no "right or wrong," it's no wonder we keep finding connections between acting and compassion.

Stay tuned for more on Edoardo's thoughts on compassion.

Thanks, Edoardo!


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Edoardo Ballerini on listening - "One of the things you're trained to do as an actor.... is listen."

Peace Games' Julia Garcia on "Noticing the Other"

Julia Garcia, who's a Peace Games Program Manager, recently read the recent posting on "Noticing the Other" and was kind enough to share her thoughts with us:

"Thanks for this very thought provoking post about 'noticing the other.' As a Peace Games staff person in Boston, it is my pleasure to see children taking part in this compassionate work every day.

The children we work with come from homes and neighborhoods very different from the home I grew up in, however, as you said, they are fundamentally no different from me. These kids yearn to be accepted, loved and respected. And during Peace Games they get a chance to flex their 'compassion muscles' and show their communities just how great they can be.

In the second half of our school year, the students in pre-K – 8th grades participate in 'Peacemaker Projects' that often use the arts as a universal way to communicate their learning. This spring, I have witnessed some of the most extraordinary examples of peacemaking done by children who have true and deep compassion for others.

In one 8th grade class, the children planned and discussed a peace mural that would be hung outside their school to designate it as a 'peaceful zone.' The mural is now finished and the kids feel extraordinarily proud of the hard work they put into their project and for the message it sends to their community. Another class, a 5th grade group, wrote a rap about resisting the temptation to join a gang and have performed it to passersby on the street to raise awareness. Both of these groups felt very connected to the messages of peace they were putting out and were happy to have a way and a place to showcase their compassion for their community and for others.

The arts are a powerful way to communicate compassion—thanks for bringing positive attention to it!"

Julia's personal observation that the kids she works with want what she wants, that they "yearn to be accepted, loved and respected," is fundamental to her ability to work with them. It may seem obvious, but in order to see the humanity and possibility in someone, we first need to see that they are human, and they have the same needs as any human.

Peace Games trains the kids to do exactly what Julia is doing, to see each other as human, and to see the world as full of human beings with infinite possibility.

The Peace Games kids use the arts to express compassion more directly than many actors, writers, or directors I encounter in my daily life in the entertainment business, and the directness of this message is powerful. I am reminded of Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games, and his message last month. Eric talked about how a group of first graders empowered a kid, Brian, who'd previously been bullying them, and made him responsible for their safety.

"What to me is so beautiful about this story is the spirit of compassion, that motivated those first graders to help their friend, and that motivated all of those first graders to sit down with Brian, and instead of saying 'you're a bad kid,' or 'we don't like you, we're gonna come get you,' to say 'here's what we need you to do,' to invite him into their community and set up the expectation that he could be a good, thoughtful contributor to their lives."

What Julia and Eric are pointing out is the power of Peace Games, that when kids can be trained in compassion, they can be trained to act compassionately, and the result of that can be a powerful transformation. These kids saw Brian not as a 'bad kid' but as someone who could make a huge difference in their lives. And because they saw him that way, he became that person, who was capable of being their protector.

This is the impact the arts can have on real, concrete, day-to-day actions. In the same way kids can be trained to express compassion through art, and in that process become more compassionate themselves, artists can take on compassion as a focal point in their art, become more compassionate themselves, and lead audiences to consider the same focus. Imagine the impact if this happened on a large scale, imagine the reach of the American movie business, of the massive numbers of eyeballs glued to television and computer screens watching human stories.

As I have said repeatedly, were every artist or aspiring artist able to see the profound effect of compassion––how a focus on compassion can cause the deepest impact on one's work and life, and create the most heartfelt imprint on the world at large––it would inevitably cause a surge of creativity, inspiration, and compassion among artists, aspiring artists, and their audiences.

Thank you Julia! *

Peace Games' Julia Garcia on "Noticing the Other"

Save the Children's Jane Berliner - Taking Risks in Art, and Seeing the Suffering of Others

Jane Berliner was an agent at Creative Artists Agency for the better part of her adult life, and she later transitioned to her current post as the director of the Artist Ambassador Program at Save the Children. I was fortunate enough to work with Jane when she was at CAA, and I count myself very lucky to work with her in her current post as well.

Jane is a rare gem; she was an extraordinary agent, and she represented some of the biggest actors in the business for a long time. And her passion and commitment to the work she does with Save the Children is absolutely spectacular. You can read more about our recent work together on my "Noticing the Other" posting, as well as as this posting on Authentic's Community Page.

So given the apparent but illusory dichotomy of Jane's career, I thought she'd be a perfect candidate to discuss her thoughts on compassion in the arts.



Here's Jane talking about what it was like working with some of the world's biggest stars, and watching them prepare to take on a role.

“I've seen my former clients be compassionate about characters they play, even some tough characters to enjoy and like... what I can tell you that I witnessed is a complete commitment to getting to know not only the character, but the character's immediate family, or community.”

This is not all that different from what Tom Hiddleston described a month ago:

"'suffering with' means taking on another's suffering as your own, a deep kind of understanding and connectedness with another human being. Having compassion for people as a whole, for the whole palette of humanity, all of us with all strengths, weaknesses, our flaws, our nobility and fragility."

Jane went on to describe why work created with a compassionate heart is attractive to her as an audience member:

“I get a much more fulfilling experience because I have a more complete picture of this person when they're created out of compassion. I think that there's a tremendous effect on the result when the process is that thorough.... If you don't get out there and really risk changing up your own life to the point where you get to know another's life, really know it, once you do that risk, then it will show up in the work. It must show in the work. Because it's now in you. It's a part of you."

As I said recently:

"by being present to the fact that the people I was meeting were fundamentally no different from my own family, no different from me, I was momentarily shaken out of my fog, and I briefly understood the necessity for compassion. I am often and ordinarily preoccupied, but being in this unique circumstance shifted my awareness."

When an actor takes on that risk for us, it shows up in the work, and jars us into awareness of our fundamental sameness. This attention to detail, this thoroughness Jane describes, strikes us, as audience members, as real, and we're attracted to it because of that. Hence, Jane's "more fulfilling experience."

And because Jane has worked in two such apparently separate worlds, she's privy to the somewhat obvious connection between them:

“Working with Save the Children, the people that I see coming and working with us, I think are true artists, not celebrities.... I would have to say that whatever it is that they're seeing the suffering of fellow humankind, I am certain the compassion that rises because of that experience finds its way into the art. I'm sure of it.”

Thank you, Jane, for sharing your thoughts, and for being such a compassionate force, making a difference for millions of children worldwide. *

Save the Children's Jane Berliner - Taking Risks in Art, and Seeing the Suffering of Others

Peace Games' Rena Deitz - "...the recipe for compassion is simple ... to get it right takes practice"

Our friends at Peace Games have been sharing the work on this site with their staff and volunteers. Rena Deitz, a Development and Communications Intern at Peace Games, had this to say about James Suskin's "Recipe for Compassion":

"James Suskin has it right. The recipe for compassion is simple, and has only a few ingredients. However, much like the recipe for a soufflé, to get it right takes practice and expertise. That is where Peace Games comes in. As an intern in Development and Communications at Peace Games I thought I would be dealing only with logistics and fundraising. Instead, everyday I work with compassionate individuals who teach children how to combine the ingredients: people, time and infinite space. By sharing their compassion, they give children the practice and expertise to be compassionate peace builders in their community."

I was inspired by reading this, because it reminded me that compassion exists in all of us as a possibility; each one of us has the capacity to be compassionate at any given moment. If a moment arises where we forget to be compassionate, we need not regret; we must simply be compassionate, and take compassionate action in this very moment. And as Peace Games' work reminds children to be compassionate––or, perhaps, gives them the tools and opportunity to recognize their own, intrinsic, compassionate selves––so can the arts remind all of us to be compassionate in our daily lives.

"Each moment is a chance for us to make peace with the world, to make peace possible for the world, to make happiness possible for the world." - Thich Nhat Hanh

"Compassion is the awareness of a deep bond between yourself and all creatures. But there are two sides to compassion, two sides to this bond. On the one hand, since you are still here as a physical body, you share the vulnerability and mortality of your physical form with every other human and with every living being. Next time you say 'I have nothing in common with this person,' remember that you have a great deal in common: A few years from now -- two years or seventy years, it doesn't make much difference-- both of you will have become rotting corpses, then piles of dust, then nothing at all. This is a sobering and humbling realization that leaves little room for pride. Is this a negative thought? No, it is a fact. Why close your eyes to it? In that sense, there is total equality between you and every other creature." - Eckhart Tolle

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Peace Games' Rena Deitz - "...the recipe for compassion is simple ... to get it right takes practice"

Noticing the "Other"

I recently visited the Navajo Nation in Arizona as part of a trip organized by Save the Children. The areas we visited were extremely poor and remote. We were told the average family income there was well below $20,000 annually, and the unemployment rate was currently 56%. One of the Save the Children staffers traveling with us told me the landscape in some of the dusty towns we visited reminded her of trips she'd taken to the poorest regions of Africa.

This was a trip connected to my work as a manager; I was traveling with a client who's involved with Save the Children as a supporter and spokesperson. So, naturally, I started to think about what I experienced there and how it related to compassion in the arts.

Of course, having a celebrity publicly bring attention to a cause is a powerful way to make a difference for that cause. And I'm thrilled that we were able to bring attention to the amazing work Save the Children is doing in the Navajo Nation and worldwide.

But how did this visit directly inform what we've been discussing here: compassion, as it relates to work in the arts, and how it helps to create the most extraordinary work possible, the work with the greatest impact, and how it helps to give one the happiest life possible?

In that respect, I was particularly struck by two observations. The first was very simple:

• The families we visited were fundamentally no different from my own. I was profoundly and immediately present to the fact that the parents we visited wanted their children to thrive, the same way I want my children to thrive.

I found this quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Whether people are beautiful and friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own. Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long as they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively..... Because we all share an identical need for love, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister. No matter how new the face or how different the dress and behavior, there is no significant division between us and other people. It is foolish to dwell on external differences, because our basic natures are the same."

These people we encountered were beautiful and friendly, but the lives they live are very different from the life I live, and the life I share with my family. And what was clear to me, and present in an extraordinary was was just that: they want what I want. We are the same.

This may seem obvious, but for me, personally, I'm not always 100% aware of this fact. I would venture to guess that's how most of us exist, with occasional flashes of awareness. Here's author and psychologist Daniel Goleman from a recent TED talk:

“The new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience is that our default wiring is to help, that is to say, if we attend the other person we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them. They're these newly identified neurons, mirror neurons, that act like a neural WiFi, activating in our brain exactly the areas activated in theirs. We feel with automatically. And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering, we're automatically prepared to help.... but then the question is, why don't we? The simple fact is that if we're focused on ourselves, if we're preoccupied as we so often are throughout the day, we don't really fully notice the other.”

We don't really fully notice the other. So by being present to the fact that the people I was meeting were fundamentally no different from my own family, no different from me, I was momentarily shaken out of my fog, and I briefly understood the necessity for compassion. I am often and ordinarily preoccupied, but being in this unique circumstance shifted my awareness. Context is decisive.

Shantideva said, in The Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life:

"When happiness is equally dear to others and myself, then what is so special about me that I strive after happiness for myself alone?"

So how do we create this awareness in our day-to-day lives? This sense of compassion for every living being we encounter? As Goleman says, we're preoccupied, we don't notice it when it's right in front of our faces. How many times has each of us stepped past a homeless person on the street, someone stricken with tears on the subway?

This awareness is exactly what the arts can provide. That each of us is fundamentally the same as each and every human being on the planet, each wanting happiness, each wanting to avoid suffering. And, as Goleman says, this is our natural way of being; we're hardwired to be compassionate. Maybe that's why it feels good, maybe it's a product of evolution, the same way we naturally think puppies and children are cute and we instinctively want to take care of them.

And it's our natural inclination to compassion, to connectedness, to humanity, that attracts us to this work in the arts. When we see work that comes from a place of compassion, we're naturally brought to that awareness, of our essential human "sameness," and it feels good.

To clarify:

1. The arts can break through our usual fog and provide access to our natural tendency towards compassion,
2. We are attracted to work with a foundation in compassion, because it feels right. We share our inherent needs with everyone else on the planet, and seeing that recognized on screen, on stage, or on paper makes us feel with automatically.

The second observation I had on this trip was this:

• There is a cost to inaction.

There have been plenty of times when I've thought, I don't have the time, I'm tired, I'm busy, someone else will do it. And on this trip I saw the direct impact of the work Save the Children was doing, on real kids. Just like my own kids. And this relates to the arts in the same way. We can choose to remain in a fog, and rob the world of the real impact we have to offer. Or we can take on compassion in our lives and careers and make a difference.

This is what I said in an earlier posting, talking about work that was mercenary, uninspired, and bereft of compassion:

"There's a deep cost to the world that comes from this kind of behavior. We're suffering, and we're being deprived of the things that bind us, that show us what we have in common, that give us hope.

And where does that lead us? To a world full of entertainment created by the uninspired. Sure, there are exceptions, but in a world where artists are being told to focus on business strategy, those exceptions are sure to become rarer and rarer."

So here it is, the call to action. Taking on compassion in your work, in the arts or in your daily life, is the key to the most extraordinary career possible, the most extraordinary life possible, it allows you to make the most extraordinary impact possible, and it's the key to the happiest life possible.

Be compassion. Take it on.

Thich Nhat Hanh

"When you begin to understand the suffering of the other person, compassion will arise in you, and the language you use will have the power of healing. Compassion is the only energy that can help us connect with another person."

H. H. The Dalai Lama:

"Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others...

...It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others."

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Noticing the "Other"

Casting Director Kim Miscia - "Compassion in the arts is just like compassion in one's everyday life"

Kim Miscia, who's a friend and a highly respected casting director here in New York City, shared her thoughts on compassion and how it relates to her work:

"Compassion in my field of the arts, casting, has shown its face to me in many instances over the years...

...like the face of the megastar TV and film actress/producer, who went out of her way to make a nervous young actress comfortable before she began her audition.

...or the face of a famous theater director who laughed heartily at every person's audition for a comedy--whether they were funny or not.

...or the face of an award winning writer, who, when an actor fumbled with his lines, reassured the young man that the words weren't important--he was getting the intention just right.

...or the face of the legendary actor teacher who, as an actress drowned in her audition monologue, took her aside and whispered in her ear, transforming her performance.

To me, compassion in the arts is just like compassion in one's everyday life--it's about putting yourself in another person's shoes and feeling empathy for them in that moment--letting them know that they're okay, and that they're not alone. Put more simply, compassion is about making the effort to let others know in tough times--not just in the sunny times--that you are no different from them."

What I really want to highlight in Kim's sharing is the presence of compassion in some of the most successful people in the business: a big TV star, a director, a writer. I'm going to reach a bit here, because I know who the people are she's referring to! These artists, their success, and the compassion in their hearts is not coincidental. The compassion she's talking about is evident in their work. When this particular actress takes on a role, she's so clearly and deeply connected to the character, and its impact on her audience, that people can't help but identify themselves with her. That's not something you turn on and turn off; it's her way of being. If an artist wants the ability to connect with an audience, to create a real emotional resonance in his or her work, compassion is utterly necessary.

Thanks, Kim! *

Casting Director Kim Miscia - "Compassion in the arts is just like compassion in one's everyday life"

Brad Warner - "You can have compassion for anybody. You should!"

Brad Warner, Zen priest, former punk rocker, and the amazingly talented writer of Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up, and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate, was kind enough to take the time to speak with me on his point of view on compassion and its role in the arts.

What's always struck me about Brad's writing is that it's completely reality-based. There's very little theory involved, even when he's describing difficult Buddhist concepts, he takes great pains to connect them to reality. Which is why I thought it'd be great to hear what he had to say about compassion.

When I first asked Brad about how he thought compassion relates to the way an artist takes on a project, he responded, "My teacher likes to say 'Buddhism is just realism.' So in order to portray a killer realistically, you have to play him as a real person. You can have compassion for anybody. You should!"

When we spoke later on, Brad explained why it was important for an actor to be compassionate towards a character when taking on a role:

"Anybody who does something well has to have a kind of compassion to do it well. Trying to do a performance that's meaningful, it's a kind of a key thing, especially for actors to have, and I think it's a natural thing, if you're good at it, you need that to do it.... to a certain extent society rewards that because they want to see it, they want to see people be compassionate."

Brad went on to explain that when we understand the suffering of others, we understand our interconnectedness with them, our shared humanity.

"Everybody needs some kind of help. There's nobody in the world who's got everything together and doesn't need any help. Interdependence is the reason you're compassionate. You recognize the interdependence and interconnectedness of things. You suffer if you're not compassionate. We think it's kind of arbitrary or 'it's a good thing' to be compassionate, but it's also an intelligent thing to be compassionate. It's the smartest move you can make, to act in a compassionate way. We normally think we want to get what we can for ourselves, and screw the other guy, and that's seen to be a way to make yourself richer or more powerful, and it works to a limited extent, but I don't think it works ultimately. The reason it's intelligent to act with compassion, because that's ultimately how you are going to feel better. So there's tremendous incentive to act that way. It's not just something you're doing for somebody else, it's something you're doing for yourself."

Thich Nhat Hanh, who I seem to be quoting in every entry, said:

“My right hand has written all the poems that I have composed. My left hand has not written a single poem. But my right hand does not think, ‘Left Hand, you are good for nothing.’ My right hand does not have a superiority complex. That is why it is very happy. My left hand does not have any complex at all. In my two hands there is the kind of wisdom called the wisdom of nondiscrimination. One day I was hammering a nail and my right hand was not very accurate and instead of pounding on the nail it pounded on my finger. It put the hammer down and took care of my left hand in a very tender way, as if it were taking care of itself. It did not say, ‘Left Hand, you have to remember that I have taken good care of you and you have to pay me back in the future.’ There was no such thinking. And my left hand did not say, “Right Hand, you have done me a lot of harm — give me that hammer, I want justice.’ My two hands know that they are members of one body; they are in each other.”

What Brad's saying is much the same, that we don't exist separately, we exist interdependently, and when that's portrayed by an actor, or shown by a director, a human audience is instinctively drawn to it. And how important it is to portray that honestly and powerfully:

"It's important work, because so many people are looking at it, and consuming it, it has such a huge influence, so it's not trivial work. Even though it might seem to be on some level. 'It's just acting, it's just a play, just a movie.' But so many people are looking at that and learning how to live from watching these films. You have to be careful."

Thanks, Brad, for the interview, and for the amazing books. Check out Brad's blog, Hardcore Zen, for more amazing insights! *

Brad Warner - "You can have compassion for anybody. You should!"

James Suskin - Recipe for Compassion

James Suskin, an old friend of mine, and a stellar manager and producer, shared this lovely recipe for compassion:

Recipe for Compassion
(serves all of humanity)

ingredients:
people (as many as you like)
a handful of time
infinite space

instructions:
1. at least one person other than yourself.
2. add a moment (this is the minimum recommended.)
3. be present. rest.
4. sit quietly and listen.
5. and share.

Enjoy!

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James Suskin - Recipe for Compassion

Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games - "Compassion is a state of mind, a state of being, but it's also a set of skills "

When Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games, sent me this video on compassion, my initial reaction was what does this have to do with my project? I'd asked Eric to share with me what his thoughts were on compassion, and how it relates to work in the arts. And here's Eric, telling us a story about a kid who's being bullied. Not an actor trying to relate to a character, or a director showing us a human story. Eric's story is about a tiny first grader, Danté, and a much larger fourth grader, Brian.

What in the world does this have to do with compassion's role in the arts?

Everything.

It took me a second to get that what the first graders did in this story is what every actor, writer, or director strives to do in their work. They saw Brian as a possibility, not as a bad kid who simply needed punishment. Not as someone who deserved a taste of his own medicine, not as someone who was hopeless, or destined for jail. But as a human being, who had within him the potential for good.

Eric said that after Danté was initially bullied, his classmates rallied around him and comforted him. And then, they began to organize. Imagine that, a group of first graders organizing a response to one of their own who'd been hurt. But they didn't organize an angry, frenzied, vengeful response. They first made a short term plan to ensure the safety of their peers: no one would have to go to the restroom by themselves. The bigger kids would accompany the smaller ones.

And then, most powerfully, the kids, along with Danté's mom, empowered Brian. They made him responsible for their well-being. So much so that he took it upon himself to become the protector, big brother, and mentor of the smaller kids.

What they saw in Brian was what Tom Hiddleston described in his earlier post.

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Brian wasn't a bad kid. But some set of causes and conditions in his life led him to dunk little Danté's head in the toilet. A great artist recognizes that within that Iago might be a Romeo, or a Martin Luther King, Jr., a Gandhi, or a Barack Obama.

Thich Nhat Hanh said in his astounding book, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames:

"You can make a mistake only when you forget that the other person suffers. You tend to believe that you are the only one who suffers, and that the other person is enjoying your suffering. You will say and do mean and cruel things when you believe that you are the only one who suffers and that the other person does not suffer at all."

The kids in Danté's class could have easily planned to exact their revenge, to do "mean and cruel things" to Brian, and "teach him a lesson." Surely that's the conventional way we'd expect to see this story played out. But thanks to the amazing work of Peace Games, and some amazing kids, the story turned out very differently. The kids were able to communicate with Brian, because they saw what was possible for him.

Thich Nhat Hanh said in his book, Teachings on Love:

"When we cannot communicate, we get sick, and as our sickness increases, we suffer and spill our suffering on other people."

Brian couldn't communicate in any other way than to act out on Danté. The kids, with their Peace Games training, taught him how.

And what they ultimately recognized is what every artist recognizes: the essential humanity in Brian. That he was not all that different from they, themselves. That something led Brian to act the way he did, and that they could be the cause that could help him act another way.

Thanks, Eric, for your inspiring video!


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Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games - "Compassion is a state of mind, a state of being, but it's also a set of skills "

Thich Nhat Hanh - "Our Life is a Work of Art"

I was thinking about Tom Hiddleston's post from today, and was inspired to look on my bookshelf for some of Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings on compassion. I picked up his amazing book, Peace is Every Step, which I hadn't read in a while. I leafed through the table of contents and was immediately drawn to the short chapter, "Our Life is a Work of Art." Check this out:

"...an artist asked me, 'What is the way to look at a flower so that I can make the most of it for my art?' I said, if you look in that way, you cannot be in touch with the flower. Abandon all your projects so you can be with the flower with no intention of exploiting it or getting something from it... When we do not trouble ourselves about whether or not something is a work of art, if we just act in each moment with composure and mindfulness, each minute of our life is a work of art. Even when we are not painting or writing, we are still creating. We are pregnant with beauty, joy, and peace, and we are making life more beautiful for many people. Sometimes it is better not to talk about art by using the word 'art.' If we just act with awareness and integrity, our art will flower and we don't have to talk about it at all."

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Thich Nhat Hanh - "Our Life is a Work of Art"

Tom Hiddleston - "There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Our amazing client Tom Hiddleston who I mentioned below did this terrific video for us with his thoughts on compassion. Tom said something that really hit home to me:

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

I think it's this thought that drew me to this project in the first place. The "there but for the grace of God go I" concept. That none of us is above anything, none is better than anyone else, that we are all where we are due to a unique set of causes and conditions, and we will each experience immense suffering in our lives along with, hopefully, great happiness. As Lama Marut has said, "we are either in a disaster or between disasters." If one lives a life of any length, one experiences great suffering at some point. Even Iago, or Dick Cheney, or anyone we automatically think of as evil and unredeemable. Tom's video tells us how important that understanding is to an actor's process.

Thich Nhat Hanh says, in his remarkable book, Peace is Every Step,

"the essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves 'inside the skin' of the other. We 'go inside' their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering. Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. We must become one with the object of our observation. When we are in contact with another's suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally 'to suffer with.'"

And as Tom Hiddleston points out, compassion gives actors the ability to suffer with the characters they play, which in turns gives us, the audience, an opportunity to identify with these characters, warts and all, to in some small way become one with the object of our observation. And perhaps, to see that we're not alone in the universe. That we're not all that different from them, and they're not all that different from us.

Thank you, Tom!

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Tom Hiddleston - "There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Kat Foster on Compassion

Here's the beautiful and talented Kat Foster, known from Fox's TIL DEATH and soon to be seen on ABC's THE UNUSUALS, talking about compassion and what it means to her and how it relates to her work. How amazing is Kat??

I love the fact that Kat's definition of compassion is not all that different from Robert Thurman's, who's spent years studying it!

"Compassion is an ability to feel the pain of others, embrace someone's feelings as your own, to put yourself in someone else's shoes."

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Kat Foster on Compassion

"Compassion means to feel the feelings of others" - Dr. Robert Thurman

I thought it might be helpful to have an expert's opinion on what compassion is before I start showing you all the different ways it manifests in the arts. So here's the brilliant Dr. Robert Thurman from a TED talk, on compassion––it really fits with what we're talking about here:

Where compassion comes is where you surprisingly discover you lose yourself in some way, through art, through meditation, through understanding, through knowledge, actually... knowing your interconnectedness with other beings, you can experience yourself as the other beings, when you see through the delusion of being separated from them. And when you do that, you're forced to feel what they feel.

the Dalai Lama says that "when you give birth in your mind to the idea of compassion, because you realize that you yourself and your pains and pleasures are finally too small a theatre for your intelligence, it's really too boring...."

Enjoy!
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"Compassion means to feel the feelings of others" - Dr. Robert Thurman

Why Compassion, and Who the Heck am I to Say Anything About It?

Have you ever watched a character in a film who was nothing like you on the surface, but somehow, you felt like you understood them? Or possibly even more significantly, like they understood you? That there was something in their being that felt totally human, that reminded you of yourself, or a friend, of your family?

Have you ever walked away from a play, or even a TV show, feeling like you understood something differently? That a new point of view that you hadn't previously considered was suddenly as plain as the nose on your face?

I've been working in the entertainment business for close to twenty years, and for many of those years, I was convinced that the business I was in was like any other; it was strategic. You did one thing to achieve another, which led to another, which led to a desired result. An analogy might be that we at SodaCorp repackage our soda in convenient Fridge-Packs™ which would allow the grocers who sell our soda to utilize shelf space more efficiently, and would allow consumers to have a convenient way to store our soda in their refrigerators. We'd have plenty of choices for each consumer's individual taste: regular cola, diet, ginger ale, lemon-lime, even root beer. Something for everyone, each in a convenient Fridge-Pack™ . Consumers would consume more of our product, which would eventually feed back to us as higher profits.

Think about it. An actor comes to Los Angeles or New York, and we, the representatives, the teachers, the casting directors guide them into the right kind of packaging in order to make them the most appealing to the consumers. We guide them to look to the others who have come before them, not as an example of someone who's looked deep into their own heart and found their own, personal path, but as someone to imitate. The windblown hair, the white shiny teeth. The chiseled abs. The casual way they deliver a joke, or how their eyes glisten as they deliver the emotional knock-out blow.

And, for a time, it works. If we package it right, if the goods are of a certain quality to begin with, and there's enough shelf space in that particular section of the market, it flies off the shelves.

For the better part of twenty years, I thought that's how it worked. And apparently, so do a lot of artists. For many, it's all about in order to. I'll do this TV series in order to get the movies I want. I'll do this genre movie in order to be considered for the movies I really want. I'll take this job in order to make the money I need, so that I can do this play in order to be considered a serious actor. I'll try and be more like him in order to get the jobs I want.

I'd spent years strategizing, trying to figure out the “right” next move for each client so that they could someday have what they wanted. And it was working out! I could point to my strategies and see how they'd been productive. If they hadn't worked out, I could point to some unforeseen outside circumstance, something beyond my control that had gotten in the way of my master plan. Of course, I never got full credit in success, because I was never willing to take full responsibility. I couldn't say “do this,” I'd say “it sounds like this is the right choice, based on your feelings and concerns.”

Unknowingly, I was actually exploring a very different territory with my clients, though not with full awareness and therefore not with full power. When I heard them talk about the work to which they were truly drawn, I couldn't help but be touched, moved, inspired, and to support them in their endeavors. It wasn't passive; their passions became mine, and I'd find myself torn between the strategy I thought made sense, and the inspiration I felt in my heart.

Poet and author David Whyte says, in his astounding book The Heart Aroused:

“...if we can see the path ahead laid out for us, there is a good chance it is not our path; it is probably someone else's we have substituted for our own."

I started my company in early 2005, thinking I knew the path laid out ahead of me. But when I was finally in charge, when I could no longer claim I had to live within someone else's worldview, when I realized I was personally responsible for my own point-of-view, I started thinking about what actually inspired me, instead of what I thought should inspire me.

And there it was, right in front of me. Every single artist who truly inspired me, who brought me to tears, who brought me to a new understanding of what it means to be human, who made me laugh, and who inspired me to action, had something in common:

Compassion

My client Tom Hiddleston, about whom who you'll be hearing quite a lot, is quite accomplished with his Latin. Tom says:

"Passion" is from the Latin verb "patior" meaning "to suffer" (participle is "passus" meaning "suffering"). And the "con" part in the preposition meaning "with.” So - literally "suffering with" means taking on another's suffering as your own, a deep kind of understanding and connectedness with another human being. Having compassion for people as a whole, for the whole palette of humanity, all of us with all strengths, weaknesses, our flaws, our nobility and fragility. That's what compassion means to me as an artist. An understanding that no character's suffering or insecurity or weakness or fear or strength is any greater or smaller than my own. ... "patior" has a second meaning in Latin, which is "to allow, "to acquiesce,” "to submit.” So I suppose etymologically "compassion" carries within it an essence of permission, acquiescence, acceptance. Which deepens my understanding of it in terms of having compassion for the characters I play even more.

Another smart guy (H. H. The Dalai Lama) said this:

Whether people are beautiful and friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own. Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long as they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively.

Wow, that's a lot to take on. Here we have an artist's point-of-view, and we have the point-of-view of a religious leader who's spent his entire life studying and meditating on compassion. And it sounds to me like they're coming from the same place.

Except here's what I see, every day:

Dude

Dude, you're a manager?

Me

Yeah, that's right.

Dude

Cool, dude, like in Entourage!

Me

Ummm.... yeah.

That ummmm... yeah is me being judgmental, by the way. Not very compassionate of me, I know! But it's not really a true story, it's one I made up to make a point about what is right now. So I'm being judgmental of an imaginary character. That's ok, right? Ermmmm..... oh yeah. Here's what is:

Every day, I encounter people who see entertainment as mercenary, it's about getting something in order to get what they really want, it's about strategy and business planning. And this comes from a group of people who generally got into it completely inspired, people interested in human connection, creativity, and making an impact in the world.

Naturally, this leads to people in the biz feeling resigned, disappointed, and beaten down. They suffer through their work because they have to, they do work thinking it's what they need to do, and very often and very quickly the inspiration and passion that they'd hoped to have in their careers and lives gets drained away. And anyone even considering getting into the entertainment business is led to think that this is how it works, that entertainment is about anything but compassion, it's about business school, and spreadsheets, and foreign sales value.

There's a deep cost to the world that comes from this kind of behavior. We're suffering, and we're being deprived of the things that bind us, that show us what we have in common, that give us hope.

And where does that lead us? To a world full of entertainment created by the uninspired. Sure, there are exceptions, but in a world where artists are being told to focus on business strategy, those exceptions are sure to become rarer and rarer.

Can you imagine a world where careers full of compassion, inspiration, and creativity were commonplace? And what that might make available in the world?

What I have noticed is pretty simple:

1. Compassion is at the center of every career that truly inspires me.
2. Compassion is the key to the most extraordinary career possible.
3. Compassion is the key to making the most extraordinary impact possible
4. Compassion is the key to the happiest life possible.

Wow! Big leap! Especially #4. I mean, seriously, who the heck am I to make that assertion? I'm just a poor suffering schmuck, but there are much smarter people than me who agree:

Again,The Dalai Lama:

The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes.

And again:

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

Another smart guy, Shantideva, from The Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life.

All those who are unhappy in the world are so as a result of their desire for their own happiness. All those who are happy in the world are so as a result of their desire for the happiness of others.

Oh, you think it's only a Buddhist thing, right?

Thomas Browne Sr.

By compassion we make others' misery our own, and so, by relieving them, we relieve ourselves also.

George Washington Carver

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

St. Teresa of Avila

Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out.

Albert Schweitzer

It is a man's sympathy with all creatures that truly makes him a man. Until he extends his circle of compassion to all living things, man himself will not find peace.

Mohammed

No man is a true believer unless he desireth for his brother that which he desireth for himself.

Hasidic Proverb

He who feels no compassion will become insane.

And that's the intention of this project, to show how 1, 2, 3 and 4 are possible, and to inspire others to take on compassion as a focal point for their own lives and careers. We'll be seeing video commentary from some amazing people, each with their own personal point-of-view on compassion and how it relates to their work. Along the way we'll be hearing from actors, writers, directors, acting teachers, writing teachers, Zen teachers, educators, people from the nonprofit world, students, and anyone else who has something to say.

I am particularly thrilled to have the participation of Peace Games in this project. Peace Games' mission is to support young people as peacemakers through programs in elementary and middle schools. I have long been impressed with Peace Games' focus on compassion, communication, and activism. Peace Games' students, volunteers, and staff members will participate on our site in a dialogue, responding to the postings on compassion. We'll get to see the direct effect of the videos on young people. The dialogue between members of the Peace Games community who aim to foster compassion in their schools and neighborhoods, and professionals who value compassion in their work, will be an exciting concept around which to build a unique online community.

As a result of this partnership, not only is there an opportunity to inspire our Peace Games community, but an opportunity to reach thousands worldwide and energize them about the value of compassion in their own lives.

Come back to our site for regular updates, videos, essays, and commentary, showing how compassion has made a difference in the lives of our participants, and to get inspired by seeing how it can make a difference in your own life. *

Why Compassion, and Who the Heck am I to Say Anything About It?