Aimee Mullins on Possibility - “You know, Aimee, you're very attractive. You don't look disabled.”

How cool is Aimee Mullins? I've gotten to know her just a little bit lately, and she's completely blown me away with her artistry, her strength, and particularly, her compassion.

Check this out from her recent TED talk:

I was speaking to a group of about 300 kids, ages six to eight, at a children's museum, and I brought with me a bag full of legs, similar to the kinds of things you see up here, and had them laid out on a table, for the kids. And, from my experience, you know, kids are naturally curious about what they don't know, or don't understand, or what is foreign to them. They only learn to be frightened of those differences when an adult influences them to behave that way, and maybe censors that natural curiosity, or you know, reins in the question-asking in the hopes of them being polite little kids. So, I just pictured a first grade teacher out in the lobby with these unruly kids, saying, "Now, whatever you do, don't stare at her legs."

But, of course, that's the point. That's why I was there, I wanted to invite them to look and explore. So I made a deal with the adults that the kids could come in, without any adults, for two minutes, on their own. The doors open, the kids descend on this table of legs, and they are poking and prodding, and they're wiggling toes, and they're trying to put their full weight on the sprinting leg to see what happens with that. And I said, "Kids, really quickly -- I woke up this morning, I decided I wanted to be able to jump over a house -- nothing too big, two or three stories -- but, if you could think of any animal, any superhero, any cartoon character, anything you can dream up right now, what kind of legs would you build me?"

And immediately a voice shouted, "Kangaroo!" "No, no, no! Should be a frog!" "No. It should be Go Go Gadget!" "No, no, no! It should be The Incredibles." And other things that I don't -- aren't familiar with. And then, one eight-year-old said, "Hey, why wouldn't you want to fly too?" And the whole room, including me, was like, "Yeah." (Laughter) And just like that, I went from being a woman that these kids would have been trained to see as "disabled" to somebody that had potential that their bodies didn't have yet. Somebody that might even be super-abled. Interesting....

...the conversation with society has changed profoundly in this last decade. It is no longer a conversation about overcoming deficiency. It's a conversation about augmentation. It's a conversation about potential. A prosthetic limb doesn't represent the need to replace loss anymore. It can stand as a symbol that the wearer has the power to create whatever it is that they want to create in that space. So people that society once considered to be disabled can now become the architects of their own identities and indeed continue to change those identities by designing their bodies from a place of empowerment. And what is exciting to me so much right now is that by combining cutting-edge technology -- robotics, bionics -- with the age-old poetry, we are moving closer to understanding our collective humanity. I think that if we want to discover the full potential in our humanity, we need to celebrate those heartbreaking strengths and those glorious disabilities that we all have. I think of Shakespeare's Shylock: "If you prick us, do we not bleed, and if you tickle us, do we not laugh?" It is our humanity, and all the potential within it, that makes us beautiful.

For commentary we go to the amazing Zanders, Rosamund and Benjamin, talking about "being with the way things are" and "speaking in possibility" in their spectacular, amazing, thrilling, and uplifting book The Art of Possibility:

"Often, the person in the group who articulates the possible is dismissed as a dreamer or as a Pollyanna persisting in a simplistic 'glass half-full' kind of optimism. The naysayers pride themselves on their supposed realism. However, it is actually the people who see the glass as 'half-empty' who are the ones wedded to a fiction, for 'emptiness' and 'lack'... are abstractions of the mind, whereas 'half-full' is a measure of the physical reality under discussion. The so-called optimist, then, is the only one attending to real things, the only one describing a substance that is actually in the glass.

The practice of being with the way things are can break the unseen grip of abstractions created as a hedge against danger in a world of survival, and allow us to make conscious distinctions that take us in to the realm of possibility––dreams, for instance, and visions. Imagine if we were to faithfully whisper the immortal words of Martin Luther King, Jr. 'I have a dream....,' as a preface to our every next remark. Speaking in possibility springs from the appreciation that what we say creates a reality; how we define things sets a framework for things to unfold."

Why do I bring this up? Because Aimee's description of the kids' reactions to her many pairs of legs was 1) simply a reaction to the way things are as opposed to a story about how things are i.e. there is a problem here, there is a shortcoming. And, 2) the kids were easily coached by Aimee in to speaking in possibility. She did so by getting two minutes alone with the kids before the adults were able to come in and "censor their natural curiosity" and asking them a question that immediately sparked their imaginations.

Aimee enrolled the kids, which the Zanders talk about later in the book:

"Enrollment is the art and practice of generating a spark of possibility for others to share.... we have at our fingertips an infinite capacity to light a spark of possibility. Passion, rather than fear, is the igniting force. Abundance, rather than scarcity, is the context."

Again, what does this have to do with compassion?

A whole let, let me tell you.

Compassion makes one able to see the limitless possibility in anyone. The Zanders talk about Michaelangelo having said that "inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within." By being truly compassionate, by refusing to judge, by paying attention to what is rather than our story about it––there's something wrong here––we're able to notice what's actually possible for another, whether physically, or in the words and thoughts they have to offer.

So film, for example, gives us an opportunity to notice this, to dwell in possibility rather than in limitation. Watching a historical account of a small time lawyer who rises to free India, for example, in Gandhi, or an aging professor who's played the field for his entire life and suddenly, unexpectedly, finds himself in love in Elegy, or in films starring actors other than Ben Kingsley, one realizes the humanity of others as we see their journeys on screen.

In Elegy, for example, Kingsley's character David Kepesh is utterly sure of himself and his game. When he begins to seduce Consuela (the ridiculously beautiful Penélope Cruz) we immediately understand that the moves he's putting on her are moves he's put on a thousand others. It'd be easy to judge him, but the film––Kingsley's acting along with Cruz, Clarkson, Hopper, Sarsgaard, the wonderful script and direction––allows us to join him on his journey, and gives us an opportunity to understand someone who's been sure of himself his whole life, and then finds himself questioning the whole thing. We see the possibility in Kepesh, we want him to have love and happiness, we know it can be true for him if he'd only allow it to happen. We, as an audience, want to chip away the marble hiding the work of art within.

The oft-quoted Tom Hiddleston:

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Benjamin Zander recently gave a TED talk on music, passion, leadership, and possibility:

"I realized my job was to awaken possibility in other people. And of course, I wanted to know whether I was doing that. And you know how you find out? You look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it... So if the eyes are shining, you know you're doing it. If the eyes are not shining, you get to ask a question. And this is the question: Who am I being that my players' eyes are not shining? We can do that with our children too. Who am I being that my children's eyes are not shining? That's a totally different world.

Now, we're all about to end this magical, on-the-mountain week, and we're going back into the world. And I say, it's appropriate for us to ask the question: Who are we being as we go back out into the world? And you know, I have a definition of success. For me it's very simple. It's not about wealth and fame and power. It's about how many shining eyes I have around me."

So maybe it's a good opportunity to ask yourself: who am I being that my children's eyes are not shining? Who am I being that my clients' eyes are not shining? Who am I being that my audience's eyes are not shining? Consider that everything you do, say, or even think has an impact, and creates an opportunity to awaken possibility in others.

By focusing your work, and your life on compassion, you create an opportunity to awaken possibility in others. Perhaps, to imagine themselves in love, in spite of the stories they've told themselves. To imagine hope, happiness, and humanity where they'd previously thought none. To imagine themselves having something to contribute, when they might have previously considered themselves worthless.

And by refusing to focus on compassion, by mindlessly ignoring it, you're costing the world something huge.

Aimee Mullins, and the Zanders, are awakening opportunity, and creating shining eyes all around them through their tremendous compassion.

*

Aimee Mullins on Possibility - “You know, Aimee, you're very attractive. You don't look disabled.”

Save the Children's Jane Berliner - Taking Risks in Art, and Seeing the Suffering of Others

Jane Berliner was an agent at Creative Artists Agency for the better part of her adult life, and she later transitioned to her current post as the director of the Artist Ambassador Program at Save the Children. I was fortunate enough to work with Jane when she was at CAA, and I count myself very lucky to work with her in her current post as well.

Jane is a rare gem; she was an extraordinary agent, and she represented some of the biggest actors in the business for a long time. And her passion and commitment to the work she does with Save the Children is absolutely spectacular. You can read more about our recent work together on my "Noticing the Other" posting, as well as as this posting on Authentic's Community Page.

So given the apparent but illusory dichotomy of Jane's career, I thought she'd be a perfect candidate to discuss her thoughts on compassion in the arts.



Here's Jane talking about what it was like working with some of the world's biggest stars, and watching them prepare to take on a role.

“I've seen my former clients be compassionate about characters they play, even some tough characters to enjoy and like... what I can tell you that I witnessed is a complete commitment to getting to know not only the character, but the character's immediate family, or community.”

This is not all that different from what Tom Hiddleston described a month ago:

"'suffering with' means taking on another's suffering as your own, a deep kind of understanding and connectedness with another human being. Having compassion for people as a whole, for the whole palette of humanity, all of us with all strengths, weaknesses, our flaws, our nobility and fragility."

Jane went on to describe why work created with a compassionate heart is attractive to her as an audience member:

“I get a much more fulfilling experience because I have a more complete picture of this person when they're created out of compassion. I think that there's a tremendous effect on the result when the process is that thorough.... If you don't get out there and really risk changing up your own life to the point where you get to know another's life, really know it, once you do that risk, then it will show up in the work. It must show in the work. Because it's now in you. It's a part of you."

As I said recently:

"by being present to the fact that the people I was meeting were fundamentally no different from my own family, no different from me, I was momentarily shaken out of my fog, and I briefly understood the necessity for compassion. I am often and ordinarily preoccupied, but being in this unique circumstance shifted my awareness."

When an actor takes on that risk for us, it shows up in the work, and jars us into awareness of our fundamental sameness. This attention to detail, this thoroughness Jane describes, strikes us, as audience members, as real, and we're attracted to it because of that. Hence, Jane's "more fulfilling experience."

And because Jane has worked in two such apparently separate worlds, she's privy to the somewhat obvious connection between them:

“Working with Save the Children, the people that I see coming and working with us, I think are true artists, not celebrities.... I would have to say that whatever it is that they're seeing the suffering of fellow humankind, I am certain the compassion that rises because of that experience finds its way into the art. I'm sure of it.”

Thank you, Jane, for sharing your thoughts, and for being such a compassionate force, making a difference for millions of children worldwide. *

Save the Children's Jane Berliner - Taking Risks in Art, and Seeing the Suffering of Others

Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games - "Compassion is a state of mind, a state of being, but it's also a set of skills "

When Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games, sent me this video on compassion, my initial reaction was what does this have to do with my project? I'd asked Eric to share with me what his thoughts were on compassion, and how it relates to work in the arts. And here's Eric, telling us a story about a kid who's being bullied. Not an actor trying to relate to a character, or a director showing us a human story. Eric's story is about a tiny first grader, Danté, and a much larger fourth grader, Brian.

What in the world does this have to do with compassion's role in the arts?

Everything.

It took me a second to get that what the first graders did in this story is what every actor, writer, or director strives to do in their work. They saw Brian as a possibility, not as a bad kid who simply needed punishment. Not as someone who deserved a taste of his own medicine, not as someone who was hopeless, or destined for jail. But as a human being, who had within him the potential for good.

Eric said that after Danté was initially bullied, his classmates rallied around him and comforted him. And then, they began to organize. Imagine that, a group of first graders organizing a response to one of their own who'd been hurt. But they didn't organize an angry, frenzied, vengeful response. They first made a short term plan to ensure the safety of their peers: no one would have to go to the restroom by themselves. The bigger kids would accompany the smaller ones.

And then, most powerfully, the kids, along with Danté's mom, empowered Brian. They made him responsible for their well-being. So much so that he took it upon himself to become the protector, big brother, and mentor of the smaller kids.

What they saw in Brian was what Tom Hiddleston described in his earlier post.

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Brian wasn't a bad kid. But some set of causes and conditions in his life led him to dunk little Danté's head in the toilet. A great artist recognizes that within that Iago might be a Romeo, or a Martin Luther King, Jr., a Gandhi, or a Barack Obama.

Thich Nhat Hanh said in his astounding book, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames:

"You can make a mistake only when you forget that the other person suffers. You tend to believe that you are the only one who suffers, and that the other person is enjoying your suffering. You will say and do mean and cruel things when you believe that you are the only one who suffers and that the other person does not suffer at all."

The kids in Danté's class could have easily planned to exact their revenge, to do "mean and cruel things" to Brian, and "teach him a lesson." Surely that's the conventional way we'd expect to see this story played out. But thanks to the amazing work of Peace Games, and some amazing kids, the story turned out very differently. The kids were able to communicate with Brian, because they saw what was possible for him.

Thich Nhat Hanh said in his book, Teachings on Love:

"When we cannot communicate, we get sick, and as our sickness increases, we suffer and spill our suffering on other people."

Brian couldn't communicate in any other way than to act out on Danté. The kids, with their Peace Games training, taught him how.

And what they ultimately recognized is what every artist recognizes: the essential humanity in Brian. That he was not all that different from they, themselves. That something led Brian to act the way he did, and that they could be the cause that could help him act another way.

Thanks, Eric, for your inspiring video!


*

Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games - "Compassion is a state of mind, a state of being, but it's also a set of skills "

Tom Hiddleston - "There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Our amazing client Tom Hiddleston who I mentioned below did this terrific video for us with his thoughts on compassion. Tom said something that really hit home to me:

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

I think it's this thought that drew me to this project in the first place. The "there but for the grace of God go I" concept. That none of us is above anything, none is better than anyone else, that we are all where we are due to a unique set of causes and conditions, and we will each experience immense suffering in our lives along with, hopefully, great happiness. As Lama Marut has said, "we are either in a disaster or between disasters." If one lives a life of any length, one experiences great suffering at some point. Even Iago, or Dick Cheney, or anyone we automatically think of as evil and unredeemable. Tom's video tells us how important that understanding is to an actor's process.

Thich Nhat Hanh says, in his remarkable book, Peace is Every Step,

"the essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others, to put ourselves 'inside the skin' of the other. We 'go inside' their body, feelings, and mental formations, and witness for ourselves their suffering. Shallow observation as an outsider is not enough to see their suffering. We must become one with the object of our observation. When we are in contact with another's suffering, a feeling of compassion is born in us. Compassion means, literally 'to suffer with.'"

And as Tom Hiddleston points out, compassion gives actors the ability to suffer with the characters they play, which in turns gives us, the audience, an opportunity to identify with these characters, warts and all, to in some small way become one with the object of our observation. And perhaps, to see that we're not alone in the universe. That we're not all that different from them, and they're not all that different from us.

Thank you, Tom!

*

Tom Hiddleston - "There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."