Adventures in Compassion (in the Screen Trade)

Where's Jon? At the ID Project's New Website!

2010-08-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hi, gang. Just FYI, the ID Project Blog has been moved. The new location is:

http://theidproject.org

My latest posts can be found here:

http://theidproject.org/users/jon-rubinstein

Come visit!

Jon

You can find me at One City

2010-01-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

Hi there,

If you're here looking for the latest Adventures in Compassion, my apologies. I've been writing for The ID Project's One City every week, and I just haven't kept up with Adventures. I'll be back at some point but in the mean time, check out One City!

Thanks!

Jon

New Post on One City - The Buddha at Work - "The Urban Dharma of High School Musical"

2009-12-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Just can't get enough HSM!!

http://bit.ly/5bDIPm

Baby we were born... to HELP!

2009-12-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

Jackson told me about a great piece by Nicholas Wade in Monday's New York Times, about how we're born with an urge to help each other!

Here's Wade:

"The somewhat surprising answer at which some biologists have arrived is that babies are innately sociable and helpful to others. Of course every animal must to some extent be selfish to survive. But the biologists also see in humans a natural willingness to help...Dr. Tomasello concludes that helping is a natural inclination, not something imposed by parents or culture."

Well, that's pretty cool. Sounds familiar! Here's Daniel Goleman:

"The new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience is that our default wiring is to help, that is to say, if we attend the other person we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them. They're these newly identified neurons, mirror neurons, that act like a neural WiFi, activating in our brain exactly the areas activated in theirs. We feel with automatically. And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering, we're automatically prepared to help.... "

And where does this lead us? Jackson points out:

"Since we are not warlike, destructive, or evil by nature, we can overcome our interpersonal strife, and that means that all wars can end. We humans are good inside, and naturally inclined to care for one another. We can all live lives of peaceful creation. Now we have the tools and skills it takes to take care of our fellow humans and by extension conserve the natural world. Since we have the tools, the talent, and apparently the natural inclination, we set forth to create peace, justice, and an equitable existence for all Earth’s creatures, plant, animal, insect, and man alike.

In short: Humans are awesome, and can do and make anything they like, including turning the whole planet into a cool techno-garden where everyone gets to spend their lives dancing, making art, and visiting their wild animal friends in the forest with their silver flying jetpacks, and living for a long time. Why the heck not?"

Why the heck not indeed, Jackson? Why the heck not?

The latest Buddha at Work - Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

2009-12-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

Here's the latest posting on One City - about the Sixth Paramita, prajña, and how a little wisdom can make a whole lotta difference in your workplace.

Enjoy!

http://bit.ly/7prWhF

A Thanksgiving Contemplation: Helping Others Makes You Happy! Harvard Business School tells us it's so...

2009-11-26T18:07:00.000-08:00

A recent paper from Harvard Business School tell us something that Adventures in Compassion readers already know: Helping others makes us happy!

The paper, by Lalin Anik, Lara B. Aknin, Michael I. Norton, and Elizabeth W. Dunn, shows us how:

Happy people give more.
Giving is "inherently rewarding."
"...students who engaged in random acts of kindness were significantly happier than controls."
"...spending money on others leads to higher happiness than spending money on oneself."
"...prosocial spending and happiness fuel each other in a circular fashion," meaning, helping others makes you happier, and when you're happier, you're more likely to help others.

This holiday season, consider making a difference for others in whatever way you can. It'll make you happy, and when you're happy, you'll be more likely to help others. Then you'll be happier. And you'll help others even more. And then you'll be happier...

The latest Buddha at Work on One City - "Take Your Cushion to Work Day"

2009-11-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

Here's the latest Buddha at Work:

http://bit.ly/6WTFoL

Happy Thanksgiving!

Apologies for my disappearance

2009-11-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

Hi there,

Sorry I've been away from this site. I've been writing regularly for One City, but don't think I've given up on Adventures in Compassion! Expect new posts soon.

In the meantime, please read my One City posts here:

http://bit.ly/7MhHnO

I've been talking about the Six Paramitas over there, most recently Effort and Patience... look for a new posting on Meditative Concentration this week!

Jon

The Charter for Compassion Launches!! Hooray Hooray!

2009-11-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

Today, the Charter for Compassion launched, as the fulfillment of Karen Armstrong's 2008 Ted prize. Here's why it was created:

"The Charter of Compassion is a cooperative effort to restore not only compassionate thinking but, more importantly, compassionate action to the center of religious, moral and political life. Compassion is the principled determination to put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and lies at the heart of all religious and ethical systems. One of the most urgent tasks of our generation is to build a global community where men and women of all races, nations and ideologies can live together in peace. In our globalized world, everybody has become our neighbor, and the Golden Rule has become an urgent necessity."

And here it is, in its entirety:

"The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others - even our enemies - is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings, even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community."

I'm in! There's lots more info on the website: http://charterforcompassion.org/ and you can sign the affirmation below:

Latest Posts on One City

2009-11-11T12:39:00.001-08:00

A couple of new posts you might find interesting. They're not entertainment-related, specifically, which is why they're on One City rather than here:

A Journey into Right Livelihood through Etsy: http://bit.ly/4zZ1eA

The Buddha at Work - Ethics, Shmethics, so Long as I Get Paid: http://bit.ly/12me1Y

Enjoy!

Notes from The Big Sit!

2009-11-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

What a great time I had on Friday night! From 11 PM on Friday until 3 AM on Saturday, I sat in one of the windows at ABC Carpet and Home as part of the Interdependen ce Project's 24 Hour Meditation Marathon. (I'm not in the picture on the left––still haven't found one with my face in it.) And thanks to my amazing supporters, I raised over $1,100 to support the ID Project's programs. (Finally tally isn't done just yet.)

I discovered a few things that really surprised me:

1. I didn't fall asleep. I was worried that I'd fall asleep, that people would come by at 2:30 AM and see me slumped over. But for some reason I didn't. We had breaks every 30-45 minutes, but I never even found myself tired.

2. My legs didn't hurt nearly as much as I'd suspected they would.

3. A lot of people passing by apparently thought that the sheet of glass that separated us was also an impenetrable sound barrier. From time to time I found myself giggling at the comments, or getting angry at them, or both. But I was generally able to come back to my breath without a whole lot of judgment.

4. A lot of people watching us honestly seemed to think we were mannequins and were shocked when one of us would adjust our postures, blink, or breathe.

5. I left ABC at 3 AM feeling energized and excited.

In any case, it was a great, fun experience, and I'd do it again in a second! Thanks so much to all my supporters and to the ID Project for letting me be a part of it.

Jon

The Charter for Compassion - unveiling November 12th!

2009-11-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

Thanks so much to Aimee Mullins who clued me in to the upcoming launch of the Charter for Compassion. The Charter was wished for by religious scholar Karen Armstrong, as her Ted Prize, in 2008. It comes out of Armstrong's observation that every religion, without exception, shares a central tenet:

"The Charter will proclaim a principle embraced by every faith, and by every moral code. It is often referred to as The Golden Rule....The Golden Rule requires that we use empathy -- moral imagination -- to put ourselves in others' shoes. We should act toward them as we would want them to act toward us. We should refuse, under any circumstance, to carry out actions which would cause them harm."

Check out Armstrong's speech wherein she made her wish:

Here are a few highlights from her speech:

'What I've found, across the board, is that religion is about behaving differently. Instead of deciding whether or not you believe in God, first you to do something. You behave in a committed way, And then you begin to understand the truths of religion. And religious doctrines are meant to be summons to action; you only understand them when you put them into practice.

Now, pride of place in this practice is given to compassion. And it is an arresting fact that right across the board, in every single one of the major world faiths, compassion -- the ability to feel with the other in the way we've been thinking about this evening -- is not only the test of any true religiosity, it is also what will bring us into the presence of what Jews, Christians and Muslims call "God" or the "Divine." It is compassion, says the Buddha, which brings you to Nirvana. Why? Because in compassion, when we feel with the other, we dethrone ourselves from the center of our world and we put another person there. And once we get rid of ego, then we're ready to see the Divine.

So the traditions also insisted -- and this is an important point, I think -- that you could not and must not confine your compassion to your own group: your own nation, your own co-religionists, your own fellow countrymen. You must have what one of the Chinese sages called "jian ai": concern for everybody. Love your enemies. Honor the stranger. We formed you, says the Qur'an, into tribes and nations so that you may know one another.'

And here's an extraordinary video teaching us about the Charter:

CHARTER FOR COMPASSION TRAILER from TED Prize on Vimeo.

Please go to http://charterforcompassion.org/ to learn more about the Charter, and to find out how you can get involved in spreading compassion throughout the world.

Another post on ONE CITY!

2009-10-30T12:09:00.000-07:00

Here's another new post on One City - "Halloween Contemplation! How Dressing Up as Paul Stanley Might Provide Access to Buddha Nature."

http://bit.ly/2dWHw6

Enjoy!

New post on One City - "Generosity: What's in it for Me?"

2009-10-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

As part of my continuing "The Buddha at Work" series for the ID Project's One City Blog, I just put up a new piece called "Generosity: What's in it for Me?"

Check it out!

http://bit.ly/3rziJo

Big Sit Update!

2009-10-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone - just wanted to share the good news that we've blown past our final goal of raising $1000 for the Interdependence Project's 24 Hour Meditation Marathon. My original goal was $480, then I raised it to $720, and then $1000. And we've raised...

$1,133

Not bad. Thanks to all my sponsors. And if you'd still like to sponsor me, please go to:

http://bit.ly/1ayXTf

Come watch me on November 6th!

Jon

Kids Watch More than a Day of TV Each Week! New news from Nielsen.

2009-10-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

I was pretty shocked to read this article in the LA Times today, telling us that the average 2-5 year old watches thirty-two hours of television per week, and those 6-11 watching 28 hours per week.

From the original Nielsen report the article is sourced on:

"American children aged 2-11 are watching more and more television than they have in years. New findings from The Nielsen Company show kids aged 2-5 now spend more than 32 hours a week on average in front of a TV screen. The older segment of that group (ages 6-11) spend a little less time, about 28 hours per week watching TV, due in part that they are more likely to be attending school for longer hours."

Wow.

I think this article really makes one thing clear.

As our kids get older, they are clearly watching less TV. So the obvious question is:

How do we put a stop to this?

"They are more likely to be attending school for longer hours." Therein lies the problem.

It seems like we have two options:

1. Cut school days shorter.
2. Somehow incorporate more TV into school.

I think the latter shows some promise; when it rains, my kids occasionally watch a movie in the auditorium instead of having recess. I imagine many schools resort to this, so we know the infrastructure is there.

In fact, schools may want to consider the costs savings available by incorporating more television into their schedules. The average teacher's salary in New York State is over $56,000. But a big, flat screen TV can be had for under $1,000!

If we could cut, say, 100,000 teachers nationwide, and replace them with televisions, think about how much money we could save? Admittedly, my figures are unscientific, but a back-of-the-envelope calculation shows over five billion in savings. Wow! That's like, two weeks of war!

Okay. I know. I'm being cynical and bitter, not to mention judgmental.

Here's something positive to consider. If kids are watching TV over thirty hours a week, do we have some responsibility to create programming that teaches them something?

From the LA Times article:

"I think parents are clueless about how much media their kids are using and what they're watching," said Dr. Vic Strasburger, a professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and a spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

"The biggest misconception is that it's harmless entertainment," said Strasburger, who has written extensively about the effects of media on children. "Media are one of the most powerful teachers of children that we know of. When we in this society do a bad job of educating kids about sex and drugs, the media pick up the slack."

Just a little something for us to consider as we go about our business, creating entertainment for mass consumption.

New Post on One City!

2009-10-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I just posted something new on One City, called "The Buddha at Work: The Six Perfections of Highly Effective People." Come check it out!

http://bit.ly/2pV3QT

Jon

"The Buddha at Work" - new posting up on the ID Project's One City Blog

2009-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

I wrote something for the One City Blog (from the Interdependence Project) called "The Buddha at Work." I'll be writing something for them every week on this topic.

Check it out!

http://blog.beliefnet.com/onecity/2009/10/the-buddha-at-work-right-speech-in-the-movie-business.html

Lama Marut talks to Adventures in Compassion about "My Name is Earl," violence, compassion, and impermanence

2009-10-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

The amazing and inspring Lama Marut very kindly did a video, expressly for Adventures in Compassion (in the Screen Trade), on a few topics that are near and dear to my heart. Lama Marut recently featured this blog in his newsletter, and it was really exciting for me to hear of his approval of this work, but this interview (with his associate Cindy Lee) is particularly thrilling and informative.

Here are a few highlights - though you should really watch the video to see him deliver his own responses in the way that only he can. So much of what he teaches here is about intention––what do we intend to communicate when we're creating a piece of entertainment?

Cindy asks him if he thinks entertainment can be "Right Livelihood."

"Of course it could. Totally dependent on the intention. What is the intention of the product? Is the product meant to edify or to titillate? Or to exploit?"

"Of course it's possible to use the media responsibly, and a way of helping people, as a way of teaching people compassion, teaching people how to live better lives... teaching people how to relate to others. The entertainment industry has a great possibility of being able to represent other people's lives... which could result in the viewers of those representations having more and more empathy for other people and their lives, getting themselves out of their own skin and feeling what it would be like to be another person."But he warns us of the danger of the portrayal of characters in movies as two-dimensional, like "action figures... with no real lives, no background, no feelings, no family... just stick figures. And then when their heads are blown off we don't feel anything about it because we don't understand that they're human beings."

"If it's just a fancy version of a cartoon there's no compassion, there's no possibility of compassion, no empathy. You have to have a representation of a real person with all the background that we all have as real people to have any empathy for a character."

Cindy goes on to ask him about impermanence, and if portrayal of impermanence in entertainment is useful.

"To represent change as a source of empathy or compassion, that's one thing. To represent change just as change, is no big deal. How else would there be a narrative? ...it depends on what the purpose of the representation of change is.... what's the intention? What's the purpose of the media representation? Is the purpose to titillate, or is the purpose to bring some compassion to the viewer, to bring some sense that what they're watching is another human being just like them?"

So you might think that Marut's tastes tend toward the serious, the sorrowful, or the morose. Not so!

"We have to keep a sense of humor about things, a sense of lightness, otherwise it's just boring and dull and too serious, and that's not helpful.... it's possible to deliver a very very good message, a compassionate message, an empathetic message, in a package that's entertaining, that's interesting, that's funny..."

So what's your favorite show, Lama Marut?

"I like this television show, My Name is Earl, which all about this guy who's just trying to be a good person, he's trying to make amends for the wrongs that he's committed in his life, and it's very entertaining, it's very funny, it's very light, but every episode has a very very strong kind of moral to the story... very useful to be broadcasting a show like that which is teaching people responsibility... that their actions have consquences, that their actions effect other people... the virtue of forgiveness, the virtue of compassion, the virtue of gratitude. These virtues are all packaged up in a very very entertaining form. That's, I think a model."

Marut goes on to point out that we in entertainment have a tremendous responsibility, that the effects of our work go way beyond what we might imagine:

"The entertainment business is hugely influential and should be responsible... what Jon is suggesting, what he's encouraging people to think about is very very important. How can we entertain responsibly without exploiting, without being inured to the violence... the violence on television is awful. I suggest to the people who are watching this that we would not be able to tolerate six, seven, eight years of war, unbroken, had we not been inured to violence because of television. It's just another TV show for us. The Iraq war... the Afghanistan war.. these are just televison shows for us.... because we have been inured to violence, we have hardened our hearts about the suffering of other people who are on the other side of violence. When we're the subject of violence, then we understand it.... that it's not a pleasant thing, that it's an awful things. But when we're the perpetrator of it, or the viewer of it... we become just inured to it. We don't think about it. We don't think that there's another human being on the other side of our violent actions. So to bring some compassion and some intelligence into... the entertainment business, is very important.

Thank you so much Lama Marut, and thank you Cindy Lee!

More Money Please!

2009-10-08T22:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks so much to all my amazing sponsors for the upcoming 24 Hour Meditation Marathon on November 6-7, to benefit the Interdependence Project. My original goal was to raise $480, and then I quickly raised it to $720. Well, we're way past that so the new goal is $1,000.

Click here to find out more about the marathon, the Interdependence Project, and why I'm sitting!

Making Peace Promises - For Compassion's Sake!

2009-10-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was shocked to realize this morning that I haven't told y'all about Peace Promises. Peace Promises is the brainchild of the “unmessable-with” Josselyne Herman-Saccio, who I know both through my work at Landmark Education and as a talent manager, and the amazing Dr. Monica Sharma, who, “through her work at UNICEF, UNDP and the United Nations has impacted over 130 million people in 60 countries.”

Peace Promises' tagline is "Causing Peace on the Planet, One Promise at a Time." From the website:

"We say that if one person is fighting, or at war, with someone in their life, with themselves, with a belief, with an opinion of another’s, then there is war on the planet RIGHT NOW where they are."

As Thich Nhat Hanh said in the opening of Creating True Peace (boldface is mine):

“True peace is always possible. Yet it requires strength and practice, particularly in times of great difficulty. To some, peace and nonviolence are synonymous with passivity and weakness. In truth, practicing peace and nonviolence is far from passive. To practice peace, to make peace alive in us, is to actively cultivate understanding, love, and compassion, even in the fact of misperception and conflict. Practicing peace, especially in times of war, requires courage.... when the seeds of anger, violence, and fear are watered in us several times a day, they will grow stronger. Then we are unable to be happy, unable to accept ourselves; we suffer and make those around us suffer. Yet when we know how to cultivate the seeds of love, compassion, and understanding in us every day, those seeds will become stronger, and the seeds of violence and hatred will become weaker and weaker. We know that if we water the seeds of anger, violence, and fear in us, we will lose our peace and our stability. We will suffer and we will make those around us suffer. But if we cultivate the seeds of compassion, we nourish peace within us and around us. With this understanding, are are already on the path of creating peace.”

Peace Promises allows us to practice peace, to take on a Peace Promise and mindfully follow it throughout the day, notice when we stray from it, and gently return to our promise. Peace Promises cause us to be mindful. Spending the day focused on our Peace Promise is not that different from sitting on a cushion noticing our breath, or walking mindfully and noticing the ground beneath our feet.

Check out this inspiring video, showing real New Yorkers sharing their Peace Promises:

The Peace Promises site offers an opportunity for each of us to share our promises. I was on jury duty today, and so I shared my promise, to “happily serve jury duty today, knowing that I have benefitted tremendously from our jury system, and I’m able to help provide the same service to others.” When I had brief moments that frustrated me during jury duty, I remembered my promise, and returned to enjoying the day, without beating myself up for my momentary derailment. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us that every moment is an opportunity to create peace, and this program really brings that idea to life.

Some of the recent promises I found particularly inspiring on the site:

"I promise to find more constructive ways to communicate (and less destructive complaining)."
"I promise to stop being so hard on myself and to let go of things I have no control over."
"I promise to try opening my heart to everything and everyone and put my wall down to be loved."
"I promise to be honest and truthful everyday."
"I promise to stop being so hard on myself and to let go of things I have no control over."
"I promise to keep peace in my heart and spread it to whom ever I come in contact with."
"I will be consciously kind to those random people I meet in life."

What's really exciting about this to me is that it's all about mindfulness; it's about noticing what we're doing and not judging it. When we notice where we're inclined to be unkind, and then act kindly, we've subtly shifted our brain's programming. But even if we just notice our reactions, that's often enough to cause a shift! From a Peace Promises email:

"Becoming aware of something often times sets you free from the grip of it. As you identify and acknowledge something it is no longer invisible to you. When something is invisible to you, it has power over you. When you can see it you can also give it up. The act of giving something up creates space. In that space something new can be created."

So this alone is inspiring, but Josselyne and Monica were kind enough to design a program to cause a shift in peace for each of us, in our communities and relationships, and in our own lives. Here's what the site says about the 30 Day Peace Promise Program, which is "designed to create more peace in your life in the areas of inner peace, relationships, your workplace and community."

"This program will give you an opportunity to exercise the muscles that actually create PEACE. Giving you the tools to create an alternative to stress, an alternative to arguing, an alternative to intolerance, an alternative to war."

Each morning, you get a new promise emailed to you, to focus on that day. I'm on day 29 of the program, though I have to admit I haven't taken on the promises every single day. The email explains the promise and how it provides access to peace in your life. Some of my recent favorites:

"I promise to do something unexpectedly nice for at least one of my neighbors today."
"I promise to smile 20 times today when I meet or see people I do not know."
"I promise to notice my prejudice (race, religion, age, sex etc) today and be compassionate and accepting."
"I promise to forgive someone who I have been holding a grudge against today."
"I promise to educate myself on someone else's point of view on an issue I have been being very rigid about. I promise to learn about it with a commitment to see something valid and new."

That last one was a real challenge for me; I chose to take on educating myself on the Republican point-of-view on healthcare. Prior to this Peace Promise, I shut down and wouldn't listen when I heard anything from the right; I made a commitment to learn something, and I actually did learn something!

I am still sure, however, that we need a public option. But at least I've given another point of view some real consideration. And that allows me to actually be in a conversation with another person who has a point of view that doesn't match mine. That's peace.

By cultivating peace––peace in our inner selves, peace in our relationships, and peace in our communities and the world, we allow our natural compassion to emerge. Imagine a really slow commute to work––has that ever happened to you? Many of us react with anger and frustration––to the traffic, to the other drivers, to ourselves for not taking a different route. If we'd made a Peace Promise that day, any Peace Promise, we might find ourselves noticing our frustration and anger, and letting it go mindfully. We might even find ourselves able to react with compassion. We'd still be stuck in traffic, but we'd be able to carry that peace with us throughout our day. So when we get home from the traffic jam, our frustration and anger isn't carried to our interactions with our spouses and children. We might, in fact, get to simply be with them, and enjoy them; we wouldn't still be stuck in traffic, even in our heads.

Go to the site and sign up for the 30 Day Challenge. You'll be glad you did.

Lama Marut teaches us that we can learn from anyone. Even Glenn Beck.

2009-10-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

I was very happy to hear that Lama Marut chose this site as his "website of the month." I've long been a fan of his work and I am pretty sure his podcasts were my first real taste of Buddhism. He's amazing at explaining complex concepts in a very simple and often funny way. There was a good year where I listened to his Dharma Essentials courses for hours each week. He has tons of free audio teachings, ranging from karma, to the Diamond Cutter Sutra, to emptiness, to the Six Perfections, to the Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life, to the Lam Rim. It's great stuff, and he makes it super accessible.

I found out about Marut's selection of this site via email from his associate Cindy, who was kind enough to point me to one of his teachings. I had been trying to remember where I'd heard him talk about how anything or anybody can be your teacher. I fumbled through the concept in explaining how you could be taught something, even by High School Musical. Cindy pointed me to this amazing audio teaching, "The Appearance of the Sacred in Another Being." Give it a listen.

Lama Marut tells us:

“The guru can appear in all kinds of forms... the guru can also appear as your boyfriend, or girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or child, or mother or father. The guru is not limited in their appearance possibilities...

...the guru can also appear as a lake view. Anything that's changing your consciousness.... is the guru at work. anything that's changing your consciousness, anything that's going oh my god maybe life isn't just ordinary, that's the job description... of a guru... 'Make them believe that it isn't just ordinary.' That there's a sacred world right in front of their eyes if they could only see it. Bring them to nirvana... the end of suffering... bring them to heaven by showing them it's been here all along. It's been here right in front of you all along....

...they're like the entry point, the mediating entry point from a profane world into a sacred world. they're like a door that brings you into a different reality. And it is up to you to invest them with that capability. If you don't invest them with that capability they have no capability ever. Zero....

...when you meet another person you have two unconfirmable possibilities.... you can imagine them as just being ordinary, or you can imagine them as being a sacred angel on your case.... put on your case, come down from HQ on your case. And you can't confirm that they're not.... you've got that choice. Which one would be more interesting? Which one would be a better way to live? Which one would allow that person to start helping you? The secret of guru yoga is that you constitute somebody as sacred, as special, as divine in your life. And then everything they say and do from then on becomes a teaching for you.... what kind of lesson was that for me?

The power isn't coming form the guru. The power is coming from you. It's just a feedback device.... you invest the power in them and it comes back to you. and the more you invest in them the more it comes back to you."

So the key for me, then, is to invest everything with the power of the sacred. What can I learn from High School Musical? What can I learn from that guy who cut me off in traffic? What can I learn from Glenn Beck? Hard to imagine, but as Lama Marut points out, your teacher doesn't always appear the way you expect them to. It's up to us to decide to invest something with the power of the sacred, and that enables us to learn from anything.

So the guy in traffic can be a lesson on compassion. Glenn Beck too, believe it or not. Whether you imagine him as a child, or a father, or a husband. (I have no idea if he was ever any of these, not even a kid.) When he's making you really angry, you can imagine what's making him suffer, what's causing him to react so fearfully, and to instigate fear in others.

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us this, in "Living Buddha Living Christ," how we can forgive even someone who makes us really, really angry:

"'You my brother or sister have wronged me in the past, I now understand that it was because you were suffering and did not see clearly. I no longer feel anger towards you.' Only when you understand what has happened can you have compassion for the other person and forgive him or her... when you are mindful you can see the many causes that led the other person to make you suffer, and when you see this, forgiveness and release arise naturally."

So learning about compassion and forgiveness can come from the most unexpected places! Really, almost anything can be a lesson in compassion; just look at today's headlines, or walk down the street and consider the lives of others, or drink a cup of coffee and imagine all of the interdependent factors that went into you getting that perfect cup. And you can have compassion for the farmers, for the truck drivers, for the baristas, for the workers in the cup factory, and for anyone else who led to you getting your drink. Compassion is everywhere, if you look for it!

Thanks so much, Lama Marut!!

The Dharma of High School Musical Part 2 - "Get'cha Head in the Game"

2009-09-29T11:19:00.001-07:00

I want to be really, super clear here, because I've had hesitations about writing more postings like the one I wrote last week.

Here's the thing. I am not joking. I really, honestly think there's a Dharma lesson in the song "Fabulous" from High School Musical 2. I can't say whether this was intended by the song's authors, but I genuinely heard a lesson in the song after probably the thousandth time I'd listened to it. The lesson had been there all along, but it took the right causes and conditions for me to "get it."

I say this with the deepest respect and reverence for the Buddha's teachings, and also knowing that I am a complete novice when it comes to my understanding and analysis. This is why I go to pains to quote impeccable sources, teachers who have a much greater understanding than I have or perhaps ever will. Most of them are tagged over on the right hand side of this page. I welcome any clarification or rebuttal of any of anything I put forth; like I said, I'm no scholar.

My intention in my work on this site is to inspire others to take on compassion as a focal point in their lives and careers. Often, this veers into other, related areas of Buddhist study, but they're all closely connected. As someone who's in the entertainment business, I think it might be helpful to point out that there's room for a powerful teaching in any medium, whether it be a small, heartfelt movie, a Broadway musical, or a Disney Channel teenfest.

And perhaps part of the reason millions of fans connect to the High School Musical films is the thread of compassion that runs through all of them. We are no different from Sharpay, each of us always wanting the newest toys, and justifying it to ourselves like she does.

And that leads me to my next observation:

Last night, after my amazing nine year old daughter Lily made us dinner (for real!) I asked her to list all the songs from High School Musical, so that I could search for more Dharma lessons. Her equally amazing brother Eli shouted out "Get'cha Head in the Game," and I knew immediately he was on to something.

Watch the video:

The lyrics are a stunning back and forth between the running monologue in Troy's head, and what he knows to be important, that he simply must "get his head in the game." It's like two voices, battling for Troy.

Here's worried Troy remembering all the things he's been told to do:

Coach said to fake right
And break left
Watch out for the pick
And keep an eye on defense
Gotta run the give and go
And take the ball to the hole
But don't be afraid
To shoot the outside "J"

And then mindful Troy simply remembers that none of this is possible unless he's here, in the present moment:

Just keep ya head in the game
Just keep ya head in the game

Here's worried Troy talking about the past and the future, both in the same verse:

Let's make sure
That we get the rebound
'Cause when we get it
Then the crowd will go wild
A second chance
Gotta grab it and go
Maybe this time
We'll hit the right notes

"Let's make sure that we get the rebound," is worried Troy worrying about the future. "Maybe this time we'll hit the right notes," is worried Troy comparing to the past.

But then mindful Troy reminds us what's important:

Wait a minute
It's not the time or place
Wait a minute
Get my head in the game
Wait a minute
Get my head in the game
Wait a minute
Wait a minute

There is such a simple and profound lesson here. Thich Nhat Hanh says, in "The Miracle of Mindfulness,"

"Joy and peace are the joy and peace possible in this very hour of sitting. If you cannot find it here, you won't find it anywhere. Don't chase after your thoughts as a shadow follows its object. Don't run after your thoughts. Find joy and peace in this very moment."

Thay later quotes Tolstoy in the book:

"Remember that there is only one important time and that is now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion."

Even more recently, Eckhart Tolle shared similar sentiments in The Power of Now:

"When you are present in this moment, you break the continuity of your story, of past and future."

"Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now."

These great teachers seem to be saying the same thing: "Get'cha head in the game."

This doesn't mean that Troy should give up! As Tolle says in The Power of Now:

"For example, if you were stuck in the mud somewhere, you wouldn't say, 'Okay, I resign myself to being stuck in the mud.' Resignation is not surrender. You don't need to accept an undesirable or unpleasant life situation. Nor do you need to deceive yourself and say there's nothing wrong with being stuck in the mud. No. You recognize fully that you want to get out of it. You then narrow your attention down to the present moment without mentally labeling it in any way. This means there is no judgment of the Now. Therefore there is no resistance, no emotional negativity. You accept the 'isness' of this moment. Then you take action and do all you can to get out of the mud."

Troy can "get his head in the game," accept the "isness" of the current moment, and then take action and do all he can to win the game! How profound this is, when we all spend so much time worrying about what actions we need to take, how we've done them the "wrong" way in the past, and how concerned we are that we'll repeat our mistakes in the future. But while we're worrying, we've created a world where "something's wrong," and we're unable to take any action other than to fix what we perceive to be wrong. If Troy's worrying about getting what the coach said "right," he's not going to be able to react and play to his fullest ability. Likewise, when we're worrying about what might happen, or what happened in the past, we're unable to really act from any place of strength; we're simply reacting, on full automatic.

And when we're reacting to the past, or worrying about the future, we're likely to be defensive, angry, and self-centered––and much less likely to be compassionate.

Help Bat Nha Monastery!!!

2009-09-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I've been getting a lot of emails and Facebook notes about the situation at Bat Nha monastery in Vietnam. Bat Nha was established by followers of Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Vietnamese government recently demanded the monks and nuns living there leave the monastery. According to published reports, when the monks and nuns peacefully refused to leave, they were repeatedly harassed and attacked. Here's a quote from a recent press release: "Excessive violence was used against unarmed, non-resisting, peaceable monks and nuns, in flagrant breach of all internationally-recognized principles of human rights."

Yesterday, a mob descended on the monastery and forcibly evicted over 130 monks, later threatening over 230 nuns and aspirants who were forced to abandon the monastery. Here's the press release

"Yesterday morning, a 150-strong mob descended on Prajna Monastery, Lam Dong Province, Vietnam. The crowd violently evicted over 130 monks, followers of Venerable Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Plain-clothes police were known to be amongst the mob; uniformed police blocked all roads of access. Government officials refused to intervene, claiming that nothing was happening at the monastery site.
The crowd, armed with sticks and hammers, smashed doors and windows. The monks, some less than 18 years old, began sitting meditation and chanting in peaceful resistance. They were assaulted, removed by force and dragged out of their residence into the torrential rain. They were violently bundled into trucks and taxis, driven off and later dumped by the roadside. Some were marched up to 15 kilometers away from the monastery, being subjected to kicks and blows if they fell. The two most senior monks were beaten and arrested without charge. At this time, it is unknown where one, Brother Phap Hoi, is being held.

After they had successfully attacked the monks, the mob set upon the two nuns’ quarters. Doors were smashed down and all 230 nuns and aspirants driven into one building. There they were held overnight, awaiting threatened violence the next day. Left with no alternative, the nuns and aspirants, the majority of whom are young girls and women under 25 years old, abandoned their home for an uncertain future."

While the monastery has been destroyed, there are a number of ways you can help call attention to this horrifying violation of international human rights laws. Some senior monks are still unaccounted for, and it's important that the Vietnamese government feels pressure from the international community to release them, and to treat them humanely while they're under custody.

• Consider contacting news organizations asking them to cover the events at Bat Nha. Coverage in the West is limited, especially TV coverage. Any attention to this matter helps.
• Contact your representatives in Congress and ask them to pay attention to the events, and to hold the Vietnamese government accountable. You can contact your representatives by clicking here and your senators by clicking here.
• Write to the President of Vietnam asking him to allow the monks to continue their practice peacefully, and asking him to release the monks in custody.
• Contact Secretary of State Hillary Clinton registering your concern on the matter. You can contact her by clicking here.
• Contact the UN's Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights.
• Inform human rights groups about the situation and ask them to take action. Here are a few:

Human Rights Watch
Amnesty International
Reporters Without Borders

You can find the latest news at http://helpbatnha.org/.

To get a sense of what Bat Nha is like, please take a look at this video, which shows the daily practice at the monastery, and includes clips of the monks and nuns' nonviolent response after the initial attacks.

I am full of admiration for these monastics who responded to the attacks with nonviolence. Brother Trung Hai, who is a Dharma teacher at the monastery but was in France at the time of the attack, said this:

"The Vietnamese government and the Religious Committee and the National Buddhist Church have won. Their victory is that Bat Nha is completely destroyed. Everything is smashed. All the monks and nuns have been evicted from the monastery and the buildings have been stripped bare.

Our monastics brothers and sisters have done their part, that is they have responded faithfully to every challenge with non-violence, compassion and forgiveness. And yes, they have won.

Now we rest on the conscience of the government and of the people, inside and outside of Vietnam.

We do not blame anyone. We have no anger toward anyone. We know that our enemies are not people; they are greed, hatred and ignorance."

The great Dharma teachings of High School Musical 2 - Sharpay teaches us about dukkha

2009-09-23T20:07:00.001-07:00

Tonight's Interdependence Project class was on the Four Noble Truths, so there was a lot of talk about dukkha, which is often translated as "suffering," "unease," or "stress." It was a great class and I felt like I gained some new understanding of several concepts.

On the scooter ride home, I couldn't get a particularly irritating song out of my head. Take a look at this video:

I confess that it's not the first time I've watched it. But for some reason it kept going through my head tonight, and so rather than forcing it out of my skull, I took a look at what it was about for me. And here's what I came up with:

This song is a great Dharma lesson.

Seriously. I've heard Lama Marut say that we can look at anything as an opportunity to receive a teaching. I can't find the quote, but I'm positive he's said something like "how do you know the irritating person in your life isn't a Buddha here to teach you something?" I hope I didn't get that wrong but I am pretty sure it's right in spirit.

So if a person, why not a Disney song?

Here's Thich Nhat Hanh on suffering:

"...If we use our intelligence, we can see that craving can be a cause of pain, but other afflictions such as anger, ignorance, suspicion, arrogance, and wrong views can also cause pain and suffering. Ignorance, which gives rise to wrong perception, is responsible for much of our pain."

So here's the lovely Ashley Tisdale, singing to us about all the things she wants. In the video, she has servants tending to her every need, but boy does she seem unsatisfied:

"It's out with the old and in with the new,
Goodbye clouds of grey, hello skies of blue
A dip in the pool, a trip to the spa
Endless days in my chaise
The whole world according to moi

Iced tea imported from England,
Lifeguards imported from Spain,
Towels imported from Turkey,
Turkey imported from Maine...

...I want fabulous,
That is my simple request,
All things fabulous,
Bigger and better and best,
I need something inspiring to help me get along,
I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?

Fetch me my Jimmy Choo flip flops,
Where is my pink Prada tote?
I need my Tiffany hair band,
And then I can go for a float."

If you haven't watched the video, go back and take a look. Sharpay really doesn't seem satisfied. I detect... dukkha. What makes it a lesson, to me anyway, is that Sharpay represents all of us. Whoa! That's a stretch, Jon. Seriously, though. We are all under the impression that we can be satisfied by material things, and we are deeply unsatisfied when our expectations are not met.

Sharpay is suffering because she wants things to be other than the way they actually are. This is a form of ignorance, I suspect––to want something to be that is not. She even complains when the wrong key gets hit on the piano!

Another example might be to expect something to be permanent that is inherently impermanent, to think that one's good health and youth will last forever, or to think that one's belongings will remain intact forever. On top of this, we're only concerned with our own well-being, and can easily ignore the suffering of others. Think about how upset we feel when our new car gets a scratch, but to see another person's car with a scratch on it doesn't bother us in the least.

The Dalai Lama said, "I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction." As she says, "the whole world according to moi." Sharpay mistakenly believes that she will be happy when she gets what she wants, but she doesn't realize that she can never be satisfied, that even if she gets the items on her list, she'll just... as the song says, "want more." She doesn't know that when she gets those Jimmy Choo flip flops, impermanence teaches us that they'll soon be old, and she'll want new ones.

Though I can't be sure, I have to believe this lesson is intentional; Sharpay is portrayed as a caricature in the film. And, she's named after a dog. So thank you to the creators of High School Musical 2, for this awesome Dharma lesson!

Finding Right Livelihood in Showbiz

2009-09-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

Isn't that what this is all about? Right Livelihood? I picked up an old favorite, Thich Nhat Hanh's The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. It's required reading for that Interdependence Project class I'm taking. So here's TNH on Right Livelihood:

"To practice Right Livelihood, you have to find a way to earn your living without transgressing your ideals of love and compassion. The way you support yourself can be an expression of your deepest self, or it can be a source of suffering for you and others."

Oh. That's all we have to do. Just earn a living without transgressing our ideals. No problemo!

Fortunately, Thay goes into more detail, particularly when it comes to artists:

"A composer, writer, painter, or performer has an effect on the collective consciousness. Any work of art is, to a large, extent, a product of the collective consciousness. Therefore, the individual artist needs to practice mindfulness so that his or her work of art helps those who touch it practice right attention."

So first, we have to acknowledge what's so. Our work has an effect on the collective consciousness. It's not inconsequential; it has a tangible impact on others. We can ignore this if we choose, but it still has an effect. Working mindfully allows us to have Right Livelihood, and to benefit those who are touched by our work.

"...everything we do contributes to our effort to practice Right Livelihood. It is more than just the way we earn our paycheck. We cannot succeed at Right Livelihood one hundred percent, but we can resolve to go in the direction of compassion and reducing suffering. And we can resolve to help create a society in which there is more Right Livelihood and less wrong livelihood."

I added those italics. Nice, right? I love that bit. Just because we can't succeed 100% doesn't mean we can't go in the direction of compassion. It's easy to throw up our hands and say, "it's impossible to ever really have Right Livelihood, so why bother?" An actor might star in a film and approach a role with compassion, with the intention of benefiting others. The actor might be working with a director or other actors who are focused on their own self-interest. If the film is successful, it might feed the profits of a large multinational corporation that might or might not share the actor's compassion. We know, however, that every cause has an effect, that our compassionate words and actions aren't lost in the void. Thay points out that we can still make a difference, to move towards our ideal of compassion, by practicing mindfulness in our work:

"If you are able to work in a profession that helps realize your ideal of compassion, be grateful. And please try to help create proper jobs for others by living mindfully, simply, and sanely. Use all of your energy to try to improve the situation....

...to practice Right Livelihood means to practice Right Mindfulness. Every time the telephone rings, hear it as a bell of mindfulness. Stop what you are doing, breathe in and out consciously, and then proceed to the telephone. The way you answer the phone will embody Right Livelihood. We need to discuss among ourselves how to practice mindfulness in the workplace, how to practice Right Livelihood. Do we breathe when we hear the telephone ringing and before we pick up the phone to make a call? Do we smile while we take care of others? Do we walk mindfully from meeting to meeting? Do we practice Right Speech? Do we practice deep and total relaxation after hours of hard work? Do we live in ways that encourage everyone to be peaceful and happy and to have a job that is in the direction of peace and happiness? These are very practical and important questions. To work in a way that encourages this kind of thinking and acting, in a way that encourages our ideal of compassion, is to practice Right Livelihood."

So that's what I've been going on about nonstop for the past several months. We can choose to support ourselves in a way that benefits others, and leads to happiness for ourselves and others, or we can remain ignorant, or we can create more suffering for ourselves and others. It seems pretty simple, doesn't it!

For more on Right Speech and Right Mindfulness and the rest of the Noble Eightfold Path, this book is a great place to start!

And don't forget - sponsor me in the Interdependence Project's 24 Hour Meditation Marathon!

Sponsor me in the Interdependence Project's 24 Hour Meditation Marathon!

2009-09-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts this weekend, Buddhist Geeks (I love their tagline, Seriously Buddhist, Seriously Geeky) and heard a great interview with Ethan Nichtern, founder of the Interdependence Project, which inspired me to sign up for one of their classes on what they call Heartcore Dharma. It started this past Wednesday, and I really enjoyed it. This, in turn, inspired me to sign up for their big fundraiser, the "Sit Down Rise Up" 24 Hour Meditation Marathon. A bunch of participants will be sitting in the windows at ABC Carpet and Home, meditating for a total of 24 hours. I, personally, have only signed up for a four hour shift. In all honesty, I've never sat for much more than an hour, and my regular practice is less than that. So it's a challenge I'm excited to take on. But Ethan and some others will be sitting for the full 24 hours.

The event is designed to raise money for the Interdependence Project; they are a "meditation community dedicated to doing something with the mindfulness that comes from meditation. [They] offer meditation classes, arts programs and [they] have some very active social action programs, as well as a popular blog and podcast." Their FAQ specifically says this:

"The money is primarily for the IDP to get a new center, but also for several ongoing activism programs that need support like the initiative to end plastic bags in NY State and our prisoner tutoring program. IDP also plans to start a program this year for teaching mindfulness meditation in schools, as well as a radio show based on our popular podcast."

I particularly like what the Interdependence Project is all about:

'The core idea of our meditation group is engaging in the world with any benefits that come from meditation. So we “Sit Down” to work with our mind during meditation and then “Rise Up” to engage in the world."

Please consider sponsoring me for this event and making a fully tax-deductible donation. I've committed to raising $1000 (previously $480, then $720), but I'd like to raise a lot more, and I'll be updating you how it's going via this site. I'll be sitting from 11 PM on Friday, November 6th to 3 AM on Saturday, November 7th. Feel free to come by and watch me try not to nod off.

You can sponsor me by clicking on http://www.theidproject.org/node/91. There are instructions there to pay by credit card, cash or check. Make sure to enter my name - Jon Rubinstein - in the blank, and make it easier for me to keep track by sending me an email at jon [at] authenticm.com. Thanks!

If a bomb designer can be compassionate, why can't we?

2009-09-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about what I said the other day:

What if everyone knew that the entertainment industry was primarily interested in making the world a better place? What would that make possible?

And as I often do, I went to see what Thich Nhat Hanh had to say on the subject. In his book, Creating True Peace, Thay discusses how our occupations can be an opportunity to "help others, and to generate compassion and understanding in the world." He mentions how a man who works at a firm that designs nuclear weapons came to him, expressing his concerns, and Thay knew that if he advised the man to quit, another person would just replace him.

"I urged him to remain the director of his firm, to bring mindfulness to his daily work, and to use his position to communicate his concerns and doubts about the production of atomic bombs... if the bomb designer practices and does his work with mindfulness, his job can still nourish his compassion and in some ways allow him to help others. He can still influence his government and fellow citizens by bringing greater awareness to the situation. He can give the whole nation an opportunity to question the necessity of bomb production....

...once you begin to realize your interconnectedness with others, your interbeing, you begin to see how your actions affect you and all other life. You begin to question your way of living, to look with new eyes at the quality of your relationships and the way you work. You begin to see, 'I have to earn a living, yes, but I want to earn a living mindfully."

If this is possible for someone who designs nuclear weapons, it should be easy for those of us in the entertainment business––to look at our work and consider its impact on others, to see through the eyes of compassion, and to work to cultivate compassion in others. Entertainment gives us enormous power to communicate, to generate compassion, to generate understanding, and to bring us great joy by making a difference for others.

Take a minute, and consider it for yourself. What if entertainment was known as an industry where people were mainly interested in the well-being of others? What if you, personally, were willing to take on that commitment: to take on that conversation in everything you do. How can my work benefit others? How am I making a difference?

What would the world look like if my primary focus was making a difference for others in my work and in my life?

What to do when Josh Olsen won't read your fucking script

2009-09-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hiya! I'm guessing you're pretty upset because Josh Olsen won't read your fucking script. I'm sure that leaves you wondering, hey, what should I do next? I had all my hopes hanging on Josh Olsen reading my fucking script. I mean, he's like the fucking Pablo Picasso of screenwriting!

I'd like to offer some thoughts which might be helpful:

1. Take a deep breath. I know you're angry at Josh. Make friends with your anger and look for its source. Does it really have anything to do with Josh? I suspect you're frustrated at the lack of progress you're having with your screenwriting career. So breathe for a moment, and recognize that. Now stop, and think about why you chose screenwriting in the first place. If what's coming up for you is anger, you might want to consider what screenwriting represents to you. Is it about status and recognition? About money? Maybe you feel that selling a screenplay will validate you, will somehow make you "whole." Here's the thing that you've gotta get. Getting positive feedback on a screenplay will not make you happy. Selling a screenplay will not make you happy. Sure, you'll have a brief rush of endorphins, and you'll be super psyched when you drive off the lot in that Porsche. But believe me, it'll pass. And then you'll be grasping for that next fix. And maybe it'll be easier to have someone read your next fucking script, but you'll still be grasping and craving for that same status and recognition you were when Josh wouldn't read your fucking script.

2. Take another deep breath. Now, start thinking about how your work might impact others. Take the focus off yourself for a sec. While you're busy being upset that Josh Olsen won't read your fucking script, you're not making a difference for anyone on the planet. See what I said above, about why you started screenwriting in the first place? Think about how you were first inspired to become a writer, how you felt when you first saw the films that kicked your butt. What left you in tears? What made you jump out of your seat? What made you want to go home and hug your mom? What totally lit you up?

Think about the characters you were inspired by, and the possibilities that opened up in your mind when you saw these characters in action.

Now, imagine providing that for others. Imagine what could be possible if the work you do made a real and powerful impact on others' lives. Just try to imagine it: how you could inspire someone to look at their life differently, to feel understood, to feel not alone, to feel like a human being. What if you could inspire someone to make a difference for others in the world? To be a stand against human tragedy, or to simply go home and love their family. What would that be like? If your work is consistently coming from that place, a place of compassion, when people read it, they'll be moved and inspired, and they'll want to help you get your work out into the world.

3. Take another deep breath, and let go of the idea that something's wrong. So Josh Olsen won't read your fucking script and he thinks you're a dick for asking him to. I know you're making that mean all kinds of things. Maybe you're beating yourself up, thinking that Josh's rejection means you're never going to have the career you want, the recognition you want, the Oscar nomination you want. Maybe you're making it mean that the business sucks, that everyone in the business is a jerk, that the only way to get a toehold in the business is to be a suckup, or to sell out. Get this: if you believe that, then it's true. You made it so, just by believing it. So consider for a second that there is nothing wrong. Josh's unwillingness to read your fucking script doesn't mean anything about you, your life, your talent, or your future impact on the planet as a screenwriter or as a human being.

Now, you may, in fact, suck. But that's neither here nor there at this very moment. As long as you believe that something's wrong, that you suck, that you have no hope for a future, and you'll soon be living in a truck, infested with sores, and you'll have to eat your screenplay to survive, you have no power.

That's right. When you're convinced that something's wrong, and that Josh Olsen reading your screenplay has some importance in your life, you have no power to actually do anything. If you take a class, or send your fucking script to someone else for feedback, you'll just be looking for validation that you don't, in fact, suck.

And while you're worrying about that, no one's getting the privilege of being impacted by your work.

4. Do something. I'm not here to tell you all the ways you can get your screenwriting career off the ground. But if Josh Olsen won't read your fucking script, maybe someone else will, and maybe that someone will be generous enough to remember when they were first getting started, and how no one wanted to give them the time of day. And if someone gives you feedback, take it in. If it's bad, it doesn't mean you're bad. I haven't read Josh's work from when he was, say, a teenager, but I bet it wasn't as good as A History of Violence. We all have room to improve our work.

Get more feedback. Look for where that feedback is consistent. Like Josh says, take a class. Take another class. Watch movies. Look at why they work. Get out of the house once in a while. Do some yoga, meditate, go for a run. Breathe, and be aware that you're breathing. Talk to other people whose taste is similar to yours. And people whose taste isn't. When you feel your work is good, show it to people. And be open to what they have to say. I'm sure Josh did this once or twice, before he wrote that Oscar-nominated screenplay. There are plenty of smart, talented, successful people who care enough about others that they're willing to offer some advice here and there. Or maybe they won't read your fucking script, but they'll give you some other advice. Take it, and appreciate whatever it is they're giving you.

Because if you're honestly and truly interested in making a difference for others, if you want to inspire others, and open up possibilities to them, then clearly, you want to be the best writer you can be. And that takes hard work, and it takes other people being willing to help you. So keep writing, and learning, and breathing.

Just don't ask Josh Olsen to read your fucking script.

Entertainment = Compassion 4Evah!

2009-09-12T05:49:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a little light reading while here in Toronto; John Perkins' Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. A little break, I thought, from my usual reading list. This is about globalization and power, not about compassion, I thought. If what he says is true, it's horrifying; if it's even partially true, the world is being pillaged and people are being impoverished and murdered so that a tiny few (including me!) can live a life of extraordinary privilege. Perkins wrote the book, he says, as a confession, to come clean about the career and life he lived for decades:

"...this book is not a prescription; it is a confession, pure and simple. it is the confession of a man who allowed himself to become a pawn, an economic hit man; a man who bought into a corrupt system because it offered so many perks, and because buying in was easy to justify; a man who knew better but wh could always find excuses for his own greed, for exploiting desperate people and pillaging the planet; a man who took full advantage of the fact that he was born into one of the wealthiest societies the world has ever known, and who could also pity himself because his parent were not at the top of the pyramid; a man who listened to his teachers, read the textbooks on economic development, and then followed the example of other men and women who legitimatize every action that promotes global empire, even if that action results in murder, genocide, and environmental destruction; a man who trained others to follow in his footsteps. It is my confession."

Perkins does, however, offer a dream that got me a-thinkin':

"...those highly effective communications and distribution networks could be used to bring about positive and compassionate changes. Imagine if the Nike swoosh, McDonald's arches, and Coca-Cola logo became symbols of companies whose primary goals were to clothe and feed the world's poor in environmentally beneficial ways. This is no more unrealistic than putting a man on the moon, breaking up the Soviet Union, or creating the infrastructure that allows those companies to reach every corner of our planet. We need a revolution in our approach to education, to empower ourselves and our children to think, to question, and to dare to act. You can set an example. Be a teacher and a student; inspire everyone around you through your example."

You can set an example.

So I dare you to stop for a moment and use your imagination. Close your eyes if it helps.

Imagine that entertainment is a symbol of compassion. Imagine that when people think of actors, writers, directors, when they think of movie studios and movie stars, when they think of summer blockbusters and the Oscars, they think of compassion. They think of an entire industry that's devoted to compassion; whether feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, or simply honoring the human condition. Imagine that the primary goal of everyone in the entertainment industry is to care for the wellbeing of others. When a movie studio determines whether to make a film, the biggest question is, how does this serve others? When an actor chooses to take on a role, he or she is primarily thinking, what does this contribute to the world? Imagine that a young actor, writer, or director begins a career by thinking, how am I working to make the world a better place for others?

Okay, open your eyes.

It doesn't mean we give up profitability, or fun, or spectacle. There are a million places it's already happening, in compassionate performances, in compassionate filmmaking, in compassionate writing, in everyone who contributes to films that make a difference. It goes from low-budget documentaries like the amazing How to Fold a Flag that I saw yesterday, to the Oscar-buzzed Up in the Air and An Education, to Fox's new show Glee, to animation, to music, from poetry to design, from art to architecture. So what if that kind of work became the very definition of success; what if every young aspiring entertainer viewed themselves as a vehicle for contribution?

Think about this:

What if everyone knew that the entertainment industry was primarily interested in making the world a better place? What would that make possible?

"How do I act so well?" - Sir Ian McKellen on Acting!

2009-09-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Someone recently reminded me of this wonderful lesson by Sir Ian McKellen on Acting:

"I imagined what it would be like to be a wizard, and then, I pretended and acted in that way, on the day. And how did I know what to say? The words were written down for me in a script."

I'd forgotten that was how it worked. Thanks, Sir Ian!

How's it goin', eh? Giving up "something's wrong" at the Toronto Film Festival

2009-09-11T04:59:00.000-07:00

How's it goin', eh? I'm here in Canada, home of Rush, Loverboy, and Bob and Doug McKenzie, looking out at beautiful Lake Ontario, visiting the Toronto International Film Festival. I've come to this festival many times but it's the first time I've stayed at this hotel, which advertises itself as being "Zen." Apparently that means you can get a $340 massage somewhere in the vicinity of a Buddha statue.

While I'm here, I'm seeing some pretty awesome films; I'm not gonna say much about them, since I have clients in them. But I did see An Education last night. The movie absolutely lives up to its hype, it's really a wonderful piece, and full of compassion for all its characters––every last one. The film is set in the early 60's in London, and is the story of a girl who falls for a much older man. Like I said, I'm not gonna say much, but you walk away from the film with your heart full of understanding of every last person in it; there's no "bad guy." I love that kind of filmmaking.

Tonight is H o w to Fold a Flag, which I have nothing to do with, and Passenger Side, which I literally got tickets to because it's the name of a Wilco song. Tomorrow are The Vintner's Luck, and Up in the Air. I've already seen the latter and it also lives up to the hype, and it's full of compassion for every character and its audience.

So, briefly, I want to share something that's happened over the past few days. Every few days, I check Google Analytics to see who's looking at the site. It's a great, free application, that gives me a sense of whether the audience for Adventures in Compassion is growing, but also where the traffic is coming from. Some days, there are just a few new readers, others, there are dozens. But then one day, there were zero! Initially, I shrugged it off––maybe that day, people just weren't interested in compassion. But then the next day, zero again! I thought, wow, am I really just shouting out into the void? Is anyone listening?

You might guess where this is going. There were no hits the next day, or the next, and it occurred to me to ask my great friend and supporter Jackson Nash, of Superforest fame, what he thought. Jackson was kind enough to point out that I'd probably done something to screw up my Google Analytics settings, and even though it looked like it was working, it probably wasn't. It took Jackson pointing this out for me to realize that Google Analytics wasn't even counting my own hits, when I view the site to check formatting, and during the period of zero hits, there were comments. Obviously, you can't make a comment unless you look at the page. So there I was, feeling sorry for myself, that I was putting my heart into doing this work and, poor me, no one was paying attention. When, of course, it wasn't so. I'd made it mean that the work wasn't important, or good, or necessary. When none of those things are true. I had made up a fiction, which I was living into. "Something's wrong," I was saying to myself.

And Jackson, angel that he is, pointed out that the universe was telling me something. "What will you do," he said, "if the Universe makes it seem like no one is paying attention? Will you give up?"

And then Jackson reminded me:

"To us bloggers, our analytics can become like Dumbo's magic feather.
They are helpful, but we don't need them to fly."

Thanks, Jackson, for reminding me to get truly present to why I'm doing this, and the impact it can create. And while I'm living in the world of "something's wrong," I have very little power to create anything extraordinary, and make a difference.

Anyway I think I fixed the Analytics settings, but it doesn't really matter, does it?

I am committed to making a difference, and here's how I'm going to do it right now. Watch this video, and try not to smile. Just try.

Who doesn't love counting to four? Let's count some more! Signing out from Toronto, koo roo koo koo koo roo koo koo. Take off, you hosers.

Jon

Hey, anyone need a kidney? I'm more compassionate than you are! Nyeh nyeh! Getting out of my head and inspired by "the Happiest Person in the World"

2009-09-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

So there I was, not actually giving a crap about anyone else but myself.... worrying about how compassionate I was being instead of cultivating it and practicing it in real life.

Here's the thing: I'm reading Marc Ian Barasch's Field Notes on the Compassionate Life, and there's this whole section on people who give their spare kidneys to strangers. People like Harold Mintz, Joyce Roush and Steve Aman, and hundreds of others, who decide one day that they can save a life by giving away a kidney, and so they do.

I've given blood plenty of times––and it's needed, they tell me––but I have plenty of blood. And when I give away a pint, it replenishes within a short time.

But I can't imagine giving away my kidney. Even though, in fact, I have a spare.

I'm not going to get into a deep discussion here about whether or not I should give my kidney away, but I will discuss it further at some point; Barasch's conversations with the kidney donors are inspiring, to say the least.

Barasch also mentions researchers who study Holocaust rescuers, who hid Jews at great danger to themselves and their families, and Barasch draws the conclusion that Living Anonymous Donors have something in common with the rescuers:

"...I began to wonder if the LADs were not the same sort of people. LADs and rescuers alike claimed their performed their altruistic deeds almost choicelessly, because it seemed to them, beyond any risk-benefit calculus or even moral deliberation, the only thing they could do."

So of course, instead of looking at this as inspiring, I started looking at it as proof of my inadequacy. Why am I not one of those people? I don't know if I could give away my kidney! I don't know if I could protect Jews from the Nazis!

I kept reading the book and found myself getting more and more frustrated, until I happened upon a bit about Matthieu Ricard, which reminded me what compassion actually is and how it can be cultivated.

If you're not familiar with him, Ricard is sometimes called "The Happiest Man in the World." Though I've also heard Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche called the same thing. Maybe they should fight it out for the title. In a steel cage. Ricard is a former scientist turned Buddhist monk and author, and he's the French interpreter for the Dalai Lama. He's also an astounding photographer; you can read more about him on his website, http://www.matthieuricard.org/.

So Ricard gave this wonderful Ted talk in 2007 about happiness, and what it takes to be happy.

"Now, what then, will be happiness? And happiness, of course, is such a vague word, so let's say well-being. And so, I think the best definition, according to the Buddhist view, is that well-being is not just a mere pleasurable sensation. It is a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment, a state that actually pervades and underlies all emotional states and all the joys and sorrows that can come one's way. For you, that might be surprising. Can we have this kind of well-being while being sad? In a way, why not? Because we are speaking of a different level.

Look at the waves coming here to shore. When you are at the bottom of the wave, you hit the bottom. You hit the solid rock. When you are surfing on the top, you are all elated. So you go from elation to depression, there's no depth. Now, if you look at the high sea, there might be beautiful, calm ocean like a mirror. There might be storms, but the depth of the ocean is still there, unchanged. So now, how is that? It can only be a state of being, not just a fleeting emotion, sensation. Even joy, that can be the spring of happiness. But there's also wicked joy, you can rejoice in someone's suffering. "

Ricard goes on to discuss how we generally look for happiness in the external and how impossible that quest is, and where the real potential for happiness lies:

"So how do we proceed in our quest for happiness? Very often we look outside. We think that if we could gather this and that, all the conditions, something that we say, everything to be happy. To have everything, to be happy. That very sentence already reveals the doom of destruction of happiness. To have everything. If we miss something, it collapses. And also, when things go wrong we try to fix the outside so much, but our control of the outer world is limited, temporary, and often, illusory. So now, look at inner conditions. Aren't they stronger? Isn't it the mind that translates the outer condition into happiness and suffering? And isn't that stronger? We know, by experience, that we can be what we call in little paradise and yet, be completely unhappy within."

"So now, at the opposite, we know a lot of people who are in very difficult circumstances manage to keep serenity, inner strength, inner freedom, confidence. So now, if the inner conditions are stronger -- of course, the outer conditions do influence, and it's wonderful to live longer, healthier, to have access to information, education, to be able to travel, to have freedom, it's highly desirable. However, this is not enough; those are just auxiliary help, conditions. The experience that translates everything is within the mind. So then, when we ask oneself how to nurture the condition for happiness, the inner conditions, and which are those which will undermine happiness. So then, this needs to have some experience.

We have to know from ourself, there are certain states of mind that are conducive to this flourishing, to this well-being, what the Greeks called eudaimonia, flourishing. There are some which are adverse to this well-being. And so, if we look from our own experience -- anger, hatred, jealousy, arrogance, obsessive desire, strong grasping -- they don't leave us in such a good state after we have experienced it. And also, they are detrimental to others' happiness. So we may consider that the more those are invading our mind, and, like a chain reaction, the more we feel miserable, we feel tormented. At the opposite, everyone knows deep within that an act of selfless generosity, if from the distance, without anyone knowing anything about it, we could save a child's life, make someone happy. We don't need the recognition. We don't need any gratitude. Just the mere fact of doing that, fills such a sense of adequation with our deep nature. And we would like to be like that all the time."

As Ricard recently said on his blog:

"To imagine happiness as the achievement of all our desires and passions, is to confuse the legitimate aspiration to inner fulﬁllment with an utopia that inevitably leads to frustration.

Among all the clumsy, blind, and extreme ways we go about building happiness, the most sterile is selfishness.

Even if we display every outward sign of happiness, we can never be truly happy if we dissociate ourselves from the happiness of others."

He says, in a separate entry:

"Usually, we all experience thoughts of loving kindness, generosity, inner peace and freedom from conflicts. But these thoughts are fleeting and will soon be replaced by other thoughts, including afflictive ones such as anger and jealousy. To fully integrate altruism and compassion in our midstream, we need to do more than that. We need to cultivate them over longer periods of time. We need to bring them to our minds and then nurture them, repeat them, preserve them, enhance them, so that they gradually fill our mental landscape in a more durable way.
To arouse loving kindness, one might imagine, for instance, a young child, and feel nothing but benevolence toward that child. When that mental state has clearly arisen in one’s mind, one let it grow and sustain it until if fills one’s whole mental landscape. Then one will simply nurture this state, keeping it present, full and vast. If one does so regularly, the mind will become more easily and naturally filled with benevolence and loving kindness for all, and compassion for those who suffer."

So happiness comes from cultivating some states and not others. Loving kindness, generosity, compassion, inner peace. So what was I doing? Surely not that. I was focusing on comparing my compassion to others. Upset because mine isn't as "good" as someone else's! I think Chögyam Trungpa would have called this "spiritual materialism," which he describes in his amazing book... Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. From Wikipedia, describing this particular brand of spiritual materialism: "psychological materialism."

"Psychological materialism is the belief that a particular philosophy, belief system, or point of view will bring release from suffering. So seeking refuge by strongly identifying with a particular religion, philosophy, political party or viewpoint, for example, would be psychological materialism. From this the conventional usage of spiritual materialism arises, by identifying oneself as Buddhist or some other label, or by collecting initiations and spiritual accomplishments, one further constructs a solidified view of ego."

So instead of actually focusing on compassion and cultivating compassion, I was worried that my compassion wasn't good enough. I was worried about my status, my ranking on the compassion scoreboard, as surely as I would be concerned about my car being nicer than someone else's, or having a bigger TV, or a nicer house. And while I was doing that, nothing was getting done! No children were being fed, no peace was being made, no one was being healed, or educated, or cared for. Because I was busy worrying about my status. Maybe someday I'll get to be "The World's Most Compassionate Man."

Therein lies the challenge, for me at least, and I hope you take something from this too. This is not a race. We're not here to try and prove how compassionate we are. We don't get a badge or a medal or a trophy. Stop keeping score, and focus on cultivating compassion, through whatever means you choose. I meditate. I read. I try hard to wrap my head around the lives of others, and try to understand their unique suffering, which is as real to them as mine is to me.

And then, we do something about it. Meditating isn't enough. Scorekeeping isn't enough. Create something that makes a difference, for someone, somewhere.

At least that's what I'm working on.

Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen's AFTERMATH at NYTW

2009-09-05T05:44:00.000-07:00

Here's a rare plug: Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen, who created the amazing documentary play The Exonerated, have a new play opening shortly at New York Theatre Workshop.

This is from the NYTW website:

New York Theatre Workshop sent Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen, the award-winning creators of The Exonerated, to Jordan in June 2008 to find out firsthand what happened to the Iraqi civilians as a result of the events that began on that fateful day. They interviewed some 35 people—a cross-section of lives interrupted—who fled the chaos and violence that befell Iraqi society for the relative safety of Jordan. Following the visit to Amman, Jessica and Erik crafted their conversations with the Iraqis and have turned them into an unforgettable theatrical event.

And check out this extraordinary video on the production, which includes a discount code for tickets:

As you know from my previous posts on Erik and Jessica's work, their plays are extraordinarily compassion-centric! And because of their compassion, I know it's impossible to come out of this play without feeling a deep, human connection to its subjects. And they are deeply aware of the impact that's possible from creating this connection. As Jessica said in our interview,

“Storytelling is based in empathy.... it has this incredible potential to... expand our ideas about who we are and who might be like us in the world. It has incredible potential to make us all more compassionate or give us greater access to our own compassion and empathy... because storytelling can do that, absolutely as a storyteller I have a responsibility to absolutely make the most of that potentiality with my work all of the time. Otherwise, I've been given this incredible gift, and I'm not doing anything to serve others.”

Can't wait to see this play! Thanks, Jessica & Erik!

A letter that brightened my day...

2009-09-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons I write this darn thing is for letters like this. It's not the acknowledgment, really, it's that this work somehow makes a difference:

Dear Mr. Rubinstein,

I know that you are very busy so I will keep this as short as possible.

My name is Tui HoChee and I am an actor in Los Angeles. Yesterday afternoon I was at a coffee shop and I picked up a copy of Backstage and flipped through the pages and your article called "Compassion" caught my eye. I read through it and found it connecting to me at a very deep level. Most of our time as actors are spent trying to hustle to get a job and stay prepared and stay in contact with casting directors and making sure that we are at the right spots and we tend to forget the whole reason that we got into acting in the first place. It becomes a rat race, rather than the passion filled artistic adventure that we signed up for. I have been feeling that I have been caught in this rat race as of late and your article made me slow down and think and re-center myself and I wanted to thank you for that. It was very much appreciated.

Have a good one and best of luck to you and yours.

Sincerely,

Tui HoChee

How cool is that? Thanks to Tui HoChee for this inspiring letter that makes me want to keep spreadin' the love! Check out his website at http://www.tuihochee.com. If you didn't get to read the original story in Back Stage, check it out here.

And keep going on your own "passion filled artistic adventure."

Jon

The Actor and the Casting Director - Fay Wolf and Sara Isaacson on Compassion from two different points of view

2009-09-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

Fay Wolf and Sara Isaacson have been doing a series of videos I've really enjoyed called "The Actor and the Casting Director." They're really funny, and they manage to discuss some pretty important issues in the context of casting and acting.

In the course of this entry, which they kindly created for Adventures in Compassion, they talk about self-compassion, presence, negativity and sabotage.

Listen to Fay talk about working on the tv show Numb3rs and managing to be completely present in a scene. How she's not doing it in order to get something else, but she is simply there in the moment.

"This is what I'm doing. I'm not here so that this can be a great thing to put on my reel...."

Ade quod agis. Do what you are doing. As Thich Nhat Hanh said,

"Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life."

By being present, even in a scene on a long-running TV show, Fay allows herself to fully enjoy the moment, and give of herself. She's being truly compassionate to everyone around her by doing so––not driven by the ego that would tell her, notice me, notice me. Instead, she's serving the other actors, the director, the crew, the writers, and the show at large. She's making something available to the audience that would be distracting if she were focused on herself. And simply doing so can bring her joy!

Here's Eckhart Tolle from The Power of Now:

"Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence."

And by caring for that one moment, by being compassionate in that moment, something great is possible. Here's Eckhart:

"The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for."

Hey, I get that she's talking about an episode of Numb3rs. But she's taking responsibility for that one moment, and if she can manage to do that there, imagine what's possible as she takes on other roles.

Sara, as the casting director, observes that she often sees another way of looking at work from actors:

"I wanna audition so that I can like be on TV shows so that I can like, update my status on Facebook saying that I just booked an episode of something."

That's entirely about ego, about grasping for status. The Buddhist term dukkha, which is roughly translated as "suffering," or "stress," comes from craving; it's the Second Noble Truth. You wish for things to be a certain way that they are not. We wish for money, and when we have it, we worry that we will lose it. We wish for good health, and want it to always be that way. Whether a wish for status (even the Facebook kind) or material things, or the wish that we not get older, or get sick, or die, all suffering comes from desire. We wish for things that are naturally impermanent to be permanent. Here's Thich Nhat Hanh again on the topic:

"If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. When a flower dies, you don't suffer much, because you understand that flowers are impermanent. But you cannot accept the impermanence of your beloved one, and you suffer deeply when she passes away.

If you look deeply into impermanence, you will do your best to make her happy right now. Aware of impermanence, you become positive, loving and wise. Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing would be possible. With impermanence, every door is open for change. Impermanence is an instrument for our liberation."

Think about it: if you're doing the work to get that brief hit of status, that quick jolt to the system that comes from being able to tell people "I got a job," or "I'm on a talk show," or "I'm on the cover of a magazine," then the moment that has passed, we're simply back to being junkies looking for another fix. When you're basking in the glow of your freshly updated Facebook status, you're immediately mourning its impermanence. Fay's comment points out that we can simply enjoy the moment we're in, and be compassionate to ourselves and to others by doing so.

Fay goes on to talk about how having that compassion for ourselves creates an impact:

"Let's have compassion for ourselves and own the fact that we are all awesome... you're an awesome casting director, I'm an awesome actor, and if I don't wholeheartedly believe that about myself when I'm walking into an audition room, how in the hell are you gonna think that?"

Sara, the professional, answers it simply: "I won't."

Thanks, Fay & Sara!!! Make sure to check YouTube for their latest videos everyone!

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash sing "Jackson" at San Quentin - 1969 - Compassion in Action!

2009-09-01T20:06:00.001-07:00

Hey y'all! Have you seen this recently?

It's compassion in action! Here are two amazing performers giving it to these inmates, full-on. I wasn't in their heads when they were up there; in fact, I was still in utero, but there's something totally joyous about this performance, and I have to think that comes from non-judgment, from the ability to see these guys in the audience as human beings.

Oh, and isn't it great that the song is all about what a schmuck Johnny's gonna be when he goes to Jackson, and how June can just look at him with a smile and watch him make a fool of himself? And you know she loves him just the same. The song's full of compassion for him, both from her and to himself. And the song's pretty compassionate to anyone in the audience who's ever thought they were hot shit. Not naming any names, y'all.

Johnny says,

I'm goin' to Jackson
I'm gonna mess around
Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson
Look out Jackson town

And then June replies,

Well go on down to Jackson
Go ahead and wreck your health
Go play your hand, you big talkin' man
Make a big fool of yourself!

My favorite part is when Johnny says "When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and bow" and June lets loose with a big "ha!"

Like I said, all the work that's inspired me the most is rooted in compassion. Johnny and June were compassion in action. I am proud to say I probably saw them perform live at least twenty times, and was never disappointed.

P.S. Check out this old album cover for "Look at them Beans." Amy and I always loved that one.

Compassion: What's in It for Me?

2009-08-31T18:57:00.000-07:00

The actor's newspaper Back Stage just published a piece I wrote called "Compassion: What's in It for Me?" Adventures in Compassion readers will find it familiar; it's an adaptation of other work I've done for this blog. I'm happy to have it in Back Stage, knowing that thousands of actors will read it and perhaps be inspired to take on compassion for themselves.

http://bit.ly/10lvdU

Art Makes A Difference! Tonglen, and how I got out of my head and into The Girl Effect, and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights!

2009-08-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

I've been really self-centered lately. I woke up in a self-centered spin, in fact. Here's an edited version of the internal monologue.

Jon's Little Voice

I need a motorcycle. My scooter is fine but
how great would it be to have a Harley.
Or I could get a little bike for the city and
then get a Harley when we're up in Vermont.
Oh speaking of Vermont, I can't believe
we didn't buy that house on Lake Champlain.
Wow, if we bought that house. I could put my
Harley in the garage. Or maybe a Triumph.
Or a BMW, but not a new one. Maybe an old
one. But not too old. I should be a vegetarian.
I should give more money to charity. I need to go
work out that jury duty thing. The letter said
I could go to jail. I should talk to a lawyer. Or
just answer the damn questionnaire. I wonder
how much college will cost for the kids. How
can I help them look at colleges if I'm in jail
for not answering the jury duty questionnaire.
What a loser I am for wanting a Harley.
Should my next tattoo be on the outside of
my arm or the inside? If it's on the inside...

And so on.

We all have our inner monologues, our little voices. (As they say at Landmark, right now your little voice is saying "what's he talking about? I don't have a little voice!") For me, one of the quickest ways to settle it down is... meditation. It helps quiet the voice, and also helps me recognize it when it shows up so I can smile and say "hi, little voice!"

This morning, I worked on some tonglen, which I was reminded of by Marc Ian Barasch's book Field Notes on the Compassionate Life, which, shock, I'm really enjoying. The fantastic Richard Cardillo of Peace Games sent me the book and it's awesome.

If you're not familiar, here is tonglen according to Wikipedia:

"In the practice, one visualizes taking onto oneself the suffering of others, and giving one's own happiness and success to others."

Anyway I'm reeling from this morning's tonglen, which sure as shit quieted down the little voice for a bit. I'm reeling with a sense of urgency. Urgency about compassion. Urgency about any artist's ability to make a real difference in the world by taking on compassion.

I came into the office and started cleaning up my email, ready to take the world by storm, and I noticed this video on the home page of United Global Shift, an organization that, according to its website, is "...causing a united global shift in what is possible for humanity, focusing on the environment, employment, entrepreneurship, health and education. A shift from survival and scarcity to possibility, partnership and peace." Inspiring! Check out the video:

This video, which is a beautifully depicted presentation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, is in support of the U.S. Campaign for Burma. The declaration is a thirty-article document adopted by the United Nations in 1948; it's a powerful piece of writing which includes such seemingly obvious statements as, "no one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all forms," and "no one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment."

Good stuff, right?

Here's the thing. It's been around since 1948 and I barely knew it existed. Maybe you knew about it, and maybe you have it scrawled in soy ink on your living room wall. But I only had the vaguest idea what it was.

And suddenly, through the power of art, through the power of art, design, and music, it's indelibly embedded in my skull. Thanks to someone waking up one day, and with a great heart of compassion, creating this video. It's all obviously important stuff, but I was free to ignore it until I watched this video!

Here's another unmistakable use of art from http://www.girleffect.org/:
Zoo-wee-mama! That's some powerful stuff. But the facts are readily available to us; we all can Google. Why is it that this particular website makes us jump up and pay attention? I've talked about this before, how we're ruled by Feeling, even when we think we pay attention to Reason.

So here you go, artists, use your powerful artist-muscles to make a difference in the world! It'll quiet down the little voice, and you can stop thinking about your Harley long enough to actually do something for someone else out there. Remember, all happiness comes from helping others!

Jon

p.s. I worked out the jury duty thing. All good. No jail.

Does Comedy Give us Access to Buddha Nature?

2009-08-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

I am going to get waaaaaay in over my head here. Y'all should know, I'm no Buddhist scholar, I'm just a guy who reads a lot of books and sits on a cushion every day. Lately, I've been thinking about comedy and compassion, and how they're related. At age eight, I spent countless hours repeating Steve Martin routines, getting the inflection just right:

He kept wanting her to sing... from her diaphragm. [wait for laughs]
I mean, that would take years to learn that, wouldn't it?

Take a look at this video from Funnyordie.com. Full disclosure: June Diane Raphael who appears in the video is a client.

Death Panel Advisors - watch more funny videos

So here we are in the world, having this big nationwide healthcare debate, and people are pissed. And the thing is, each one of them believes he or she is right. Remember: whatever you think is a 100% incontrovertible fact ain't necessarily so. Someone else has a completely different opinion, and to them, it's a hard fact.

Lama Marut has a great way of showing this to us. He gives a lesson in this video about deceptive reality vs. ultimate reality.

The lesson consists of Lama Marut showing his students a pen, and pointing out that all the things we usually think about a pen ain't necessarily so. To a casual viewer, the pen seems fairly permanent, but under a microscope, it's changing in every nanosecond. To a dog, it might appear as a chew toy. Marut says, "Is the dog wrong to see this object as a chew toy? Not from the dog's point of view."

The "death panels" video takes something that someone actually might believe, and showing the absurdity of it. It's giving access to a different point-of-view through comedy. You might believe that death panels will come after your grandparents, and after watching this video, you might rethink your point-of-view. And you might laugh at anyone who believes there could be a such thing as a death panel, but after watching this, you might understand another's fear of it. I'm not saying the people who created the video intended this, I'm just saying it's possible.

So here's where buddha nature come in. All you Buddhist scholars out there, please feel free to correct me where you think I'm missing something. Here's Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche's explanation of buddha nature from his book Joyful Wisdom.

"It's not a characteristic exclusive to the historical Buddha or to Buddhist practitioners. It's not something created or imagined. It's the heart or essence inherent in all living beings, an unlimited potential to do, hear, or experience anything. Because of buddha nature we can learn, we can grow, we can change. We can become buddhas in our own right.... [the Buddha] described it... in terms of three qualities.. boundless wisdom... infinite capability... and immeasurable loving-kindness and compassion––a limitless sense of relatedness to all creatures, an open-heartedness toward others that serves as a motivation to create the conditions that enable all beings to flourish."

Rinpoche talks about Buddha Nature Blockers, which he says are, "cognitive structures that lock us into a limited and limiting view of ourselves, others, and the world around us.... that inhibit us from experiencing our lives with a deep awareness of freedom, clarity, wisdom, and wonder that transcends the conventional psychotherapeutic model of simply becoming okay, well-adjusted, or normal."

The second Blocker, he says, is "a critical view of others" which can show up in different ways, including the "point of view that everyone is less important, less competent, or less deserving than oneself..." or, "a tendency to blame others for the challenges we experience." And the fifth Blocker is "traditionally interpreted as self-obsession... We cling to our opinions, our storylines, our personal mythologies, with the same desperation with which we hold to the sides of a roller coaster cart."

So comedy, then, can give us respite from these Blockers. When we're laughing at the prospect that bureaucrats might come for an elderly couple, we know this is an extrapolation of someone's actual experience. Who hasn't heard of an insurance claim denied? Suddenly we're laughing, and we're also understanding that someone else being afraid doesn't mean they're stupid or wrong. They're just afraid.

And perhaps if we're convinced that liberal bureaucrats are out to get us, that they want to kill our grandparents to save on healthcare costs, laughing might allow us to let go of our storyline, our personal mythology, for just long enough to see something through a different lens. To see a pen, just possibly, as a chew toy.

Stephen Gyllenhaal on the masks that make us look cool

2009-08-27T08:47:00.001-07:00

Stephen Gyllenhaal has a great website where he frequently posts videos, poetry, and commentary on the world at large. I had to smile at this piece he posted on the masks that we wear. He shot it on a plane to New York, and his seatmate was wearing a mask to protect against germs. Stephen talks about starting to wear one of these himself:

"I actually think it's something I might do in the future... just one more step toward breaking down my own sense of... I should be cool.... but deep underneath it all, I'm not cool at all."

Stephen's really a paragon of compassion here––he's pointing out how he quickly judged this woman for doing something he thought wasn't cool, and then immediately noticed what he was doing, treated himself with self-compassion, and turned around his thinking to accept her way of being. Thanks, Stephen, for pointing out how we often look at someone doing something completely practical, and judging them for their willingness to be uncool!

I'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell! I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell! Breathing mindfully with Das Racist!

2009-08-26T07:58:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! I'm a day late this week. Sorry. I promised to post at least once a week and I didn't. I'm committed to doing so going forward.

The truth is––not by way of excuse, but on the topic of self-compassion––that I had a bit of a breakdown. Some challenges at work got the better of me for a day or two, and I found myself not particularly inspired to spread compassion through the world. You may remember that this has happened to me once or twice before (!). Fortunately, I have lots of tools to bring myself back to this present moment. Isn't it funny how when we're wrapped up in our own problems and our own drama, that we often forget our ability to make a difference for others?

There I was, worrying about my own problems, getting stuck in my own dialogue with the little voice in my head, and not making a difference for anyone:

Little Voice
You suck!

Jon
No, I don't!

Little Voice
You totally suck! Loser!

Jon
Ummm, really?

Meanwhile, as that's going on, two million children a year are dying from diarrhea. More than five thousand kids each day. So while I'm wrapped up in my drama, I'm not doing anything to make a difference for them, or for anyone else. The very inspiring life coach Matthew Fer ry reminds us that the easiest way to forget our own problems is to focus on being of service to others.

Matthew often talks about the "Contribution Game," in which we look at every action we take through the lens of "how is this a contribution to others?" Matthew says that the more we contribute to others, the more that the things we want will come to us. A man after my own heart.

And in the spirit of contribution, I'm here, now, and remembering to breathe mindfully.

From the Plum Village website:

"Our breathing is a stable solid ground that we can take refuge in. Regardless of our internal weather- our thoughts, emotions and perceptions- our breathing is always with us like a faithful friend. Whenever we feel carried away, or sunken in a deep emotion, or scattered in worries and projects, we return to our breathing to collect and anchor our mind.

We feel the flow of air coming in and going out of our nose. We feel how light and natural, how calm and peaceful our breathing functions. At any time, while we are walking, gardening, or typing, we can return to this peaceful source of life."

The breath is always with us, and just stopping for a moment to be aware of it can make all the difference in the world. Thich Nhat Hanh offers that we might like to say to ourselves, as we breathe:

"Breathing in, I am aware that I am breathing in.
Breathing out, I am aware that I am breathing out."

Okay, so I'm getting a little serious again. As the little Chogyam Trungpa sign on my desk says, "Cheer up." So on that note, I'd like to note a little bit of contribution from the music world. Music can affect us so powerfully without us even knowing it! Listening to this track from the ridiculous duo Das Racist, I can't help but smile. And perhaps there's a lesson here...

Is it possible that they're teaching us to simply be aware of the present moment? If I were, in fact, at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, and I stopped, breathing mindfully, and said to myself, I'm at the Pizza Hut, I'm at the Taco Bell, I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, would that not itself be a reminder of the amazing miracle of life? The pizza/taco scent in the air, the hard ground beneath my feet? As the Village Voice recently said, "It is either very, very meaningful or completely meaningless. Put it on repeat while you think it over."

Jokes aside, consider the amazing nature of the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. It's a meditation on interdependence! As we listen to this song, we can contemplate so many different things... the farmers who provided the tomatoes and lettuce for our Seven Layer Burrito, the fuel that came from the earth to transport everything to the restaurant, the kid at the register––his parents, his grandparents, what he ate that day, the teachers who've educated him, the sun in the sky, the air we breathe. This can go on infinitely! What a great gift Das Racist have given us, to remember to be in the present moment, and to appreciate the miracle of the world we live in.

Vote for My SXSW Panel!

2009-08-18T22:06:00.001-07:00

Please, take a moment and VOTE for my SXSW panel by clicking here:

http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/ideas/view/3328

Make sure to vote "thumbs up." With enough votes, I'll have a chance to bring guests to Austin in March to talk about compassion as it relates to film, at one of the most important film festivals out there.

The panel is called:

What Would Buddha Shoot? Why Compassion is the key to the most extraordinary career possible.

and if you're reading this, you know what I'm talkin' about!

Help bring compassion to the film industry! Vote!

"The one where Jon remembered to have fun" - the Separate Ways remake, and why compassion can be funny

2009-08-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, am I ever serious. I mean, damn! Did you guys read that Mary Oliver piece? Jeez! How about that fun thing I did on genocide! Wow. I take myself waaaaay too seriously!

That not to say that Mary Oliver isn't important, and that art doesn't have the potential to change the world. But come on, people. Not everyone wants to heave their guts up with tears every day.

So let's start with this. Please, please watch it before you read any further.

Did you get that? If you're not familiar with the original video, watch this version:

Got it?

Did you watch it all the way through?

If not, go back and watch. Please. I'm not kidding. It's worth your while. My wife and I watched it one night at least thirty times.

You might even take the time to go to YouTube and search for other versions. Like this:

Not my favorite. But guess what? There are at least TEN MORE on YouTube. Seriously. Tons of people have taken this, and many other songs, acted out the video, filmed it with multiple takes and camera, edited it, and posted it on YouTube. I mean, WOW.

And I have watched them all, many times.

So what in the heck does this have to do with compassion?

I'm not entirely sure.

But I do have a straw that I'm grasping to, that gives me license to post these silly videos.

When I watch one of these videos I'm thinking:

Wow, that must've taken a lot of time!
Wow, that song is pretty silly.
What a bunch of idiots.
This is hilarious.
Hey, maybe we could make a video like this!
Hey, maybe we could get the kids to do a video like this!

Somebody took the time to do all this work to create these things so we could laugh! And so they could laugh! And, in this case, they chose a completely earnest song with an completely earnest video to spoof, which is perfectly compassionate. Why? Because who among us hasn't taken themselves waaaaaayyyy too seriously? Who among us hasn't been like Steve Perry in the original video, completely serious and significant about something that might just be as substantive as the Steve's love for that Markie Post-lookin' chick.

So here's what I'm thinking. It is compassionate to want to relieve another human being's suffering. We have all suffered in many ways and we all want relief. It is compassionate to want another human being to have fun. It is compassionate to want another human being to laugh and relax and stop taking themselves so goshdarn seriously for a moment.

Ohhh... I feel it coming on... here I go with...

A Thich Nhat Hanh Quote

I've used this one a lot recently but it's soooo appropriate.

"The meaning of the word Avalokitesvara is 'the one who looks deeply into the world and hears the cries of the world.'; This voice relieves our suffering and suppressed feelings, because it is the voice of someone who understands us deeply -- our anguish, despair, and fear. When we feel understood, we suffer much less."

Dare I say that Avalokitesvara, the bodhisattva of compassion, is present in the remakes of Journey's Separate Ways? Yes, I say, yes.

When we watch the best of these videos, we are watching someone who's been there. I'm just sure of it. All teen angst-y, locked away in his room, looking for reruns of Night Court. And then, later on, able to look at that teen angst, that pre-Morrissey heartbreak, and maybe just chuckle a little bit.

So we can sometimes be compassionate to ourselves by stopping the mind chatter and laughing, by watching someone exaggerate behavior we, ourselves, have taken on. We've all been like Steve Perry, wrapped up in our... journey... (sorry). And sometimes, we need to laugh and get over our seriousness.

That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't change the world. But maybe we can have fun while doing it. Because sometimes, having fun is exactly what's called for.

"You do not have to be good." - Mary Oliver on self-compassion

2009-08-13T13:43:00.001-07:00

"When will you have a little pity for/every soft thing/that walks through the world,/yourself included?" - Mary Oliver

Sitting here in the woods of Vermont, I've been wanting to write something about the poetry of Mary Oliver as it relates to compassion. I recently bought a CD of Ms. Oliver reading some of her work, and though I haven't spent much time out on the Cape where she lives, her poems resonate well here when I'm running down a tree-lined road. Ms. Oliver, from time to time, refers to matters I'd call “self-compassion.”

I've been thinking a lot about self-compassion. If compassion literally means, “to suffer with,” self-compassion means, to me, to be with your own suffering, and to accept it fully and mindfully. As an artist, this points to fully embracing yourself and your journey; without this embrace, when you're denying your suffering, it's hard to imagine an audience connecting to you and your presence. You're not giving anything to them, and you're surely not giving anything to yourself.

Famed voice and acting coach Patsy Rodenburg says this is required in order to feel alive. From her book The Second Circle, talking to a group of highly privileged young women:

“I hope you all get what you want in life. Husband, beautiful children, country house, town mansion, shopping trips to Paris, New York, and London. Travel far and wide and stay in the most glamorous resorts on the planet... But beyond this, I believe you will still be bored, because in order to feel alive you have to give, and I have never seen any of you give anything to anyone in my presence... why don't you believe you should show anything, give, offer? Do you really think you can go through life showing nothing?”

It's hard to imagine an audience connecting to a performer whose work comes from boredom, that lacks aliveness.

Poet David Whyte recorded a talk on the poetry of self-compassion (released as a CD called, surprisingly, The Poetry of Self-Compassion). It's worth the cost of the CD just to hear him read Ms. Oliver's “The Journey.”

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice-
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations, though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
but little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do-
determined to save
the only life you could save.

- Mary Oliver

Whyte talks about how hard it is to make this journey, leaving where you are in order to “come home.” But “you knew what you had to do.”

But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations, though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen branches and stones.

Whyte continues:

“Mary Oliver says, 'you want to know what it's like, when you take that step outside your house, and leave that confining identity around, and go out on the road of life, that's what it feels like, it feels like as if you're leaving at two o'clock in the morning in the middle of a windstorm.'”

Thich Nhat Hanh says (in his book The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching) this journey is required, to grow, to have the peace and joy you deserve;

“Without suffering, you cannot grow. Without suffering, you can not get the peace and joy you deserve. Please don't run away from your suffering. Embrace it and cherish it. Go to the Buddha, sit with him, and show him your pain. He will look at you with loving kindness, compassion, and mindfulness, and show you ways to embrace your suffering and look deeply into it. With understanding and compassion, you will be able to heal the wounds in your heart, and the wounds in the world. The Buddha called suffering a Holy Truth, because our suffering has the capacity of showing us the path to liberation. Embrace your suffering, and let it reveal to you the way to peace.”

As I previously mentioned, Thay also talks about the bodhisattva Avalokitesvara in his book For a Future to be Possible.

"The meaning of the word Avalokitesvara is 'the one who looks deeply into the world and hears the cries of the world.'; This voice relieves our suffering and suppressed feelings, because it is the voice of someone who understands us deeply -- our anguish, despair, and fear. When we feel understood, we suffer much less."

An artist must embrace his or her suffering, and by doing so an audience is given a space where they can accept their own suffering, where they can experience self-compassion. Avalokitesvara is present in any artist who embraces his or her suffering, because an artist doing so allows an audience to feel understood, and relieves their suffering.

Whyte goes on to talk about probably my favorite Mary Oliver poem, “Wild Geese,” which he calls a “poem of tremendous self-compassion and self-forgiveness.”

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over again announcing your place
in the family of things.
- Mary Oliver

Whyte says that that when you first “step in to write your poem, when you first step in to write your life, you do not have to be good. You can't get there from here if you think you have to be good in order to do it. She's saying if there is goodness in the world it comes from us rubbing ourselves up against life and testing ourselves against it, and making lots of mistakes, and falling down flat. And doing bad things thinking we're doing good things. Doing good things thinking we're doing bad things. And making sense of it from the greater perspective of one's own personal destiny and intuitions of where we're supposed to go in the world.”

It seems to me that any artist who does this, who's willing to embrace mistakes, to embrace his or her life, creates the listening that allows any audience to connect to their work. To create a space where we, ourselves, can experience self-compassion. To know that we do not have to be good, and to accept it fully.

So there's my advice for the day, from the woods of Vermont. “You do not have to be good.”

Daniel Gardner's "The Science of Fear" - how Feeling always trumps Reason, and how YOU can use it in your work!

2009-08-12T18:40:00.000-07:00

Boo!

Did I scare you?

Maybe I'm losing my touch. Or maybe you haven't been watching any scary movies recently.

Fear is on my mind, because I just read Daniel Gardner's The Science of Fear. It's largely about how we're Stone Age creatures relying on prehistoric brains to make decisions. The book describes the dozens of ways we make decisions, thinking they make sense, when they're really “gut” reactions. For example, The "Example Rule," which Gardner tells us is the easier it is to recall examples of something, the more common that something must be. So if we just watched a movie full of murder and mayhem, it's no wonder we tiptoe through our dark bedroom, groping for the light switch. Our Stone Age minds think we're really in danger––because we just saw a lot of people in danger! Never mind that it was fiction. Who hasn't felt that way, scared by something we know, reasonably, couldn't possibly be true?

Gardner explains this, and other “rules,” by discussing one of the concepts I mentioned recently when I was writing about Paul Slovic's work, and in fact he cites Slovic repeatedly. He says the human brain has two systems of thought. Let's call them Feeling and Reason.

“System Two is Reason. It works slowly. It examines evidence. It calculates and considers. When Reason makes a decision, it's easy to put into words and explain.

System One––Feeling––is entirely different. Unlike Reason, it works without our conscious awareness and is as fast as lightning. Feeling is the source of the snap judgments that we experience as a hunch of an intuition or as emotions like unease, worry, or fear.”

For example, after September 11th, thousands of people briefly shifted from traveling on planes to traveling in cars. Who wasn't scared to fly after 9/11? I sure as heck was. But due to the far greater risk of traveling in cars, psychologist Gerd Gigerenzer discovered that 1,595 Americans were killed in car crashes as a direct result of the switch from planes to cars. By September 2002, travel patterns had returned to normal. While taking pains to recognize the suffering that 9/11 caused for so many people, the book points out repeatedly how tiny the risk of terrorism to any one of us. But terrorism is terrifying! The Example Rule tells us that because we recall something as horrifying as 9/11 so vividly, it must be common! And so we put ourselves at much greater risk by following Feeling rather than Reason, by traveling by car rather than by plane.

The book is filled with example after example of how we follow Feeling over Reason, and how often we're powerless not to. So this is not a post about fear, really. It's about the power of Feeling. Storytelling is inherently built on Feeling. Gardner says:

“Shakespeare may have as much to tell us about psychology as psychologists do, which is why we respond to his plays as we do. When Iago whispers in the ear of Othello and Othello's love for Desdemona turns to hate, and hate to murder, we sense that yes, this could happen. This is what jealousy and distrust can do. This is true.”

Othello's reaction is completely human, though more extreme (I hope) than many of us would have. Which is what makes the story so compelling: we recognize his behavior in our own, and in fact, we recognize Iago's! (See Tom Hiddleston's video for further discussion.)

The fact is, any artist has enormous power to wield this same power, the power of Feeling. By appealing to Feeling, an artist has an opportunity to cause enrollment, which I described when talking about Rosamund and Benjamin Zander's work; it's also a key concept from Landmark Education. As the Zanders said,

"Enrollment is the art and practice of generating a spark of possibility for others to share.... we have at our fingertips an infinite capacity to light a spark of possibility. Passion, rather than fear, is the igniting force. Abundance, rather than scarcity, is the context."

Julie & Julia came out last week as well, it was number two at the box office; it's a crowd-pleasing, entertaining film anchored by a spectacular performance by Meryl Streep. Meryl, Amy Adams, and the writer/director Nora Ephron (not to mention Authentic client Chris Messina) enroll an audience, and sweep us away in a wave of possibility. The story itself is compelling; a forty-something Julia Child takes on French cooking and changes the way the world sees food. A young woman turns her life around by simply being open to the possibility Julia created decades earlier. Simple enough: a story about two women in different times, each taking on a challenge in her life and transforming through the process of facing that challenge. The film succeeds because of its compassion, because it creates real, human portraits that lead us to Feel. Feeling always trumps Reason; if I told you the story of Julie & Julia in a sentence or two, you'd come away feeling uninspired. But watching the film, it's hard not to be moved.

Consider that Feeling works best when it feels authentic. We're all experts at seeing through inauthenticity, even if we don't know we are. This is where Reason sometimes fails but Feeling's signal can always be heard loud and clear. When a performance rings false, it's ability to elicit Feeling is diminished.

Perhaps it's a matter of respect, and feeling respected. Psychologist Piero Ferrucci talks about the mythical image of Procrustes' bed in The Power of Kindness:

"This terrible man would make people lie on his bed. If they fit exactly, they were lucky. If they were too long, he would cut off their feet, and if they were too short, he would stretch them till they were the right size.... at some time or another, we are all tempted to shape others the way we want them to be."

Watching a human being on screen or on stage who we recognize as a real person ideally makes us feel respected, because they share recognizable and understandable traits with us. They're not making us wrong in their performance, even if they're unlike us on the surface. They're causing us to feel compassion by their work, which must, in turn, be compassionate.

But many of us look at our work like Procrustes. We take on a story, or a character, thinking of the way it should look, based on our preconceived notions. But as I discussed recently, what we think it should be, even when we're really, really sure, ain't necessarily so.

So for an artist to elicit Feeling, this incredibly powerful force that can bring possibility to life, that can scare us, and excite us, we have to star with the real thing. Compassion.

Boo!

“It Ain't Necessarily So” - a letter from Lake Champlain

2009-08-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hiya! Sorry for the long delay in posting anything. I'm on vacation with my family in Vermont, and every morning so far, I've been determined to write something. Alas, it hasn't happened until now. I acknowledge that I've been out of integrity; even though I never explicitly promised to write more than once every two weeks, I know that I should be writing more often than I have been. I could blame it on the poor internet connection here, etc. but it's really just my doing. So I apologize, and I'm committed to sharing my thoughts with you at least once a week, if not more.

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Besides all the swimming, eating, Monopoly playing, horsey riding, and wine drinking, I've been doing a lot of reading on this trip. Anyone who's been in my office knows I always have a pile of books on my desk that I'm getting to, and I've had a great opportunity while here to catch up.

When the book The Three Laws of Performance by Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan came out earlier this year, I read it immediately. As many of you know, I'm a big fan of Landmark Education, and since Steve is one of the head guys there, I knew the book would be full of great insights. So I took the book with me on this trip to reread. I knew there'd be new insights for me personally, but I was also hoping to find a thing or two for the blog.

And lo and behold! Steve and Dave's book is primarily a business book, and the Three Laws are mainly described as they relate to business situations. But one of the foundations of the book is the concept of how things occur to us.

“Consider that when we do something, it always makes complete sense to us. On the other hand, when others do something, we often question, 'Why are they doing that? It doesn't make any sense!' But if we got into the world of that person, and looked at how the situation occurred to him, we would experience that the same actions that we were questioning were completely and absolutely the perfect and correct thing for him to do, given how the situation is occurring to the person. Each person assumes that the way things occur or him or her is how they are occurring for another. But situations occur differently for each person. Not realizing this can make another's actions seem out of place.... Given the different positions that well-informed, intelligent people often take on a situation, there is a significant difference between the objective facts of the matter and the way those facts occur to each of us... we are not saying that there isn't a 'real world.' We are merely pointing out that our actions relate to how the world occurs to us, not to the way it actually is.”

Steve and Dave go on to say that we relate to each other as if “each is dealing with the same set of facts” when in fact we're really dealing with how the facts occur to us.

I recently took a Landmark course on communication, and the course leader led us through exercises to deeply and directly understand this concept. She reminded us that when we believe something to be a fact, it ain't necessarily so.

This way of understanding human behavior isn't new; it's surely at the heart of Landmark's work, and it's a common theme in Buddhist teachings. And this is the heart of compassion; suffering with, deeply understanding another's point-of-view. Psychologist Piero Ferrucci says in his book The Power of Kindness:

“...empathy––which is at first only a simple instinctual capacity to resonate––develops and becomes the capacity to understand other people's feelings and points of view, to identify with them.” [emphasis added]

“However varied and vast our inner world may be, it is still a closed system, ultimately narrow and oppressive. Our thoughts, worries, desires: Is that all there is? Sometimes it seems so. But to step out of this world and enter other ones––the passions, fears, hopes, and suffering of other human beings––is akin to an interplanetary voyage. Yet it is a feat far simpler to accomplish. Closing ourselves to other people makes us imbalanced, whereas participating in their lives makes us healthier and happier. Self-attention of self-focus is correlated with greater depression and anxiety. We know this much for sure: People who are most concerned with themselves and less with others are more likely to feel fearful or unhappy.”

This might seem like a matter of personal choice: Who are you, Jon, to tell me to be compassionate, to cultivate empathy? Who are you to tell me that the world isn't necessarily how it occurs to me? If my facts are right, at worst it seems you might be more anxious, and less happy. That's surely not mine to dictate. But the stakes are higher than you might imagine. Ferrucci continues:

“Training in empathy is perhaps one of the most urgent needs in our educational programs at all levels. Yehudi Menuhin, the great violinist, once made an extraordinary statement in an interview: If German youth had been brought up not only to appreciate the music of Beethoven, but to sing and dance traditional Jewish music, the Holocaust would not have happened.”

And so here's where the arts come in. You, as an artist, or as someone who contributes to the arts, has an opportunity to cultivate empathy with your work. Is it likely that doing so could prevent another Holocaust? Hard to imagine. But we can imagine the effect cultivating compassion can have on an audience and extrapolate.

In a world where there is so much suffering, then, your contribution to the arts suddenly gains urgency. Think for a moment, about where there is suffering in the world, and how the arts––specifically, your work in the arts can contribute, and make a difference.

Signing off for now from beautiful Vermont... stay tuned for an amazing video from Fuse Entertainment manager Richard Demato, speaking on what's possible when an artist comes from a place of true inspiration, having courage in the face of fear.

Casting Director Mark Bennett's "Thoughts on Compassion"

2009-07-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

The prominent casting director Mark Bennett, whose recent credits include Kathryn Bigelow's stunning Hurt Locker, and Niki Caro's upcoming The Vintner's Luck, was kind enough to share his thoughts on compassion with us. I've known Mark for years, and have always found him to be smart and passionate, but I wasn't prepared for what he had to say about compassion. His thoughts truly echo my own, and it's no surprise that his work is of such consistently stunning quality given the genuine depth of his compassion. Thanks, too, to Monique Gabriela Curnen (full disclosure, an Authentic client) who Mark talks about in the piece.

THOUGHTS ON COMPASSION
Mark Bennett

Recently, an actress came in to read for me for a film that I was casting. She was one of the many in LA who are talented but are still struggling - and it was a big role. She was visibly nervous, and said so.

"Why?" I said. "We're all in this together."

She looked at me like I was speaking another language.

And in a way, I probably was. The movie business is rough, and we're told so often that it's a bloodsport that we start to believe it. I see it happen to actors: the first time I meet them, they're usually happy to be there, excited to be able to practice their craft. A few years later, some of the ones who haven't yet "made it" (and who are concerned with that sort of thing) start to feel jaded and bitter. They resent the process; they have a lot to say about other actors, always negative; they're bitchy in the waiting room and mean to the assistants. They are angry - and you can feel it in their work. They resent having been denied every role they've ever auditioned for, even the bad ones, mainly because they thought that that part could have led to a better part, which eventually would have led them…where? At what point would they have finally been happy?

When actors ask for advice on plotting their careers, the question I usually ask them is not, Whose career do you want?, but rather, whose life do you want? Will it really make you happy to get in that magazine? To make that much more money? No one lies on their death bed wishing that they had made more money.

I've been as guilty of this as anyone. For years, I chased imaginary carrots in front of my nose, trying to push to the head of the pack, and resenting those ahead of me. The problem with life is that there is always someone ahead of you - someone with more money, or more influence. Stubborn as I am, it took me years to learn this. I had bought the lie that society tries to sell us, that the world is defined by lack, and that the more that other people get, the less there will be for you.

Meanwhile, my life got incredibly small. I felt lonely a lot. In the words of Billy Wilder, "If you don't go to other people's funerals, they won't go to yours."

Now, I am a logical person; I am a big fan of whatever works. And I've come to discover that, more than anything, schadenfreude (rooting for other people to fail) is bad not just because it's bad for your karma but because it doesn't work. I see it with actors at auditions. The actors who book the jobs are the ones who are open, interested, who are happy to be there. It's the bitter or resentful ones that stink up the room, that get the bad reputations. Who wants to hire an actor who has a chip on their shoulder, who is full of resentment? Ironically, it's that same grim resolution to succeed that keeps them from succeeding.

We all come into this world innocent, full of hope. As long as babies' basic needs are met, they are happy. That's why young children are such good actors - they have come not to impress or to achieve, but to play. Then that innocence gets drilled out of us and we spend years trying to get it back; as Sainte-Beuve said, "There exists in most men a poet who died young, whom the man survived." But we still all have the desire to tap into our innate creativity, to experience that moment of transcendence in which we are most creative, and most generous. William Blake called this mysterious power the Imagination, and he said it was God.

So if you accept that we all start from that same place of innocence, then it is impossible not to feel compassion for others - and eventually, for yourself. Now, whenever I hear about a movie star throwing a tantrum on set, or a director dressing down some poor p.a., I think, Wow. They must be one frightened little child, to feel like they have to fight so hard to prove their own importance. And then I say a little prayer for them.

Now when I say a "prayer", I'm not referring to working within any organized religion or belief system. By prayer, I mean just good wishes, a happy little thought. Whenever actors are anxious about an audition, I tell them, "Say a little prayer, first for yourself and then for everybody else in the room - even the other actors. You'll feel generous and less resentful, and then your work will get better." And it does. I see it all the time.

I like to refer to my friend Monique Curnen. I first met Monique years ago, when she was an actress just starting out in New York. What always distinguished Monique, even more than her talent, was her generosity. She always showed up happy to be there, and eager to be of service. Because of this, people rooted for her, and she steadily built up her resume. Two years ago, I was delighted to receive a call from Monique, in which she told me she had to cancel our plans because she'd booked a role in a film.

The film? The Dark Knight.

Right after that, she booked a lead on a TV show, and has been working steadily ever since. Throughout it all, she has remained a really nice person, even since moving to LA (which is no mean feat).

She's going to have a very long career.

Like I said, I am a logical person: I practice compassion because it works. Simple as that.

Do you hear that, actors? Mark casts major movies, and he's telling you that compassion works. Not just in theory--in real, live practice!

Wow, Mark. Thanks so much. I'm sitting here trying to think of something to add, and I can't think of anything.

Paul Slovic on why we don't take action, and how actors, writer, and directors wield enormous power to change that

2009-07-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

I just posted on the recent Nicholas Kristof column, "Would You Let This Girl Drown?" where Kristof references Paul Slovic's work, specifically his paper "If I look at the mass I will never act": Psychic numbing and genocide. Today I dug further and read Slovic's paper. The gist of the whole thing can be explained from this excerpt of his abstract:

"Most people are caring and will exert great effort to rescue individual victims whose needy plight comes to their attention. These same good people, however, often become numbly indifferent to the plight of individuals who are 'one of many' in a much greater problem. Why does this occur? The answer to this question will help us answer a related question that is the topic of this paper: Why, over the past century, have good people repeatedly ignored mass murder and genocide?"

Slovic goes on to describe affect, "the positive and negative feelings that combine with reasoned analysis to guide our judgements, decisions, and actions." Affect is simply the "sense (not necessarily conscious) that something is good or bad." It's automatic, and it's fast. And even though we're faced with facts that might lead us in another direction, we mostly make our decisions via "intuitive, automatic, natural, non-verbal, narrative, and experiential" means. That sometimes leads to us making choices that, in the clear light of day, don't seem to make sense. He describes studies that show consistently, that donors are more likely to make a donation that helps a single child, rather than donations that might help many children.

I'm not going to get into great detail about Slovic's work, but it's a great paper and I urge you to take a look for yourself. What's clear from the paper, though, is that our emotional, automatic responses to situations are what drive many of our decisions. In fact, we're likely to use logic and facts (our "analytic" system) simply to support the conclusions we've already made through our "experiental" system.

So what does that have to do with compassion and acting, writing, and directing?

You guessed it––plenty!

While Slovic points out that simple statistics, no matter how enormous, ultimately do not inspire people to take action, "images often strike us more powerfully, more deeply than numbers... we quickly grow numb to the facts and the math." "When it comes to eliciting compassion, the identified individual victim, with a face and a name, has no peer," Slovic says, and he points out many examples thereof including Baby Jessica, who fell into a well in the late 1980's; her rescue was the subject of massive media attention and her rescue caused nationwide celebration.

And this is where we intersect with acting, with writing, with directing. It's tough to convince billions of people to make their decisions in a different way; much of what we do is automatic. Slovic references Barbara Kingsolver, who wrote:

"The power of fiction is to create empathy. It lifts you away from your chair and stuffs you gently down inside someone else's point of view... A newspaper could tell you that one hundred people, say, in an airplane, or in Israel, or in Iraq, have died today. And you can think to yourself, 'How very sad,' then turn the page and see how the Wildcats fared. But a novel could take just one of those hundred lives and show you exactly how it felt to be that person rising from bed in the morning, watching the desert light on the tile of her doorway and on the curve of her daughter's cheek. You could taste that person's breakfast, and love her family, and sort through her worries as your own, and know that a death in that household will be the end of the only life that someone will ever have. As important as yours. As important as mine."

Slovic claims that relying on experiential systems, by using "powerful affective imagery such as that associated with Katrina and the South Asian tsunami" is hopeless. He points out that relying on this method creates the possibility of sensationalism, and requires consistent and powerful action on the part of the media. Slovic advocates clear attention to the facts, to compel governments to take action––in this case, against genocide.

But he himself points out how difficult it is to get anyone to pay attention to facts, to numbers. It is exactly these mechanisms, imagery, narrative, personalization, that artists must wield. And by doing so mindfully, their power is enormous!

By creating real characters, human stories that audiences identify with, we become compelled to take action on their behalf. Save the Children has known this for a long time: we're more likely to sponsor a real child with a real face, than to give money to a general fund for the well-being of children, even though the benefit might be greater.

I often say that in my work as a manager, I'm working my clients to create the world that I want to live in. So many artists want to make an impact with their work, and one surefire way to do it is to create real human beings that audiences automatically feel compassion for. This doesn't mean artists can only work on "issues," films about world tragedies, plays about human suffering. But it does mean that each time a story is told, there's an opportunity to create a space where an audience identifies with another human being's suffering, and is compelled to take action on it.

This might be on the scale of genocide, or it might be on the scale of family dynamics and relationships, or anywhere in between. Reading a paper about the American Dream, man's fear of failure and dreams of success, and family dysfunction doesn't inspire us to look inward. Watching a production of Death of a Salesman might. Hearing facts about addiction and how it can destroy a family is sad, but to watch Long Day's Journey into Night makes us look at our own families with compassion. To hear about 800,000 deaths in Rwanda is horrifying, but to watch Hotel Rwanda hits us in the gut, and inspires us to take action. To hear about millions of deaths in the Holocaust is gut-wrenching, but to read The Diary of Anne Frank, or to watch Schindler's List, or to learn any human Holocaust story through a human narrative makes us want to keep it from happening again.

Kristof, Nobbs, Blank, and Jensen and the ability of the arts to cultivate compassion - “The more who die, the less we care.”

2009-07-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ever since I read Nicholas Kristof's column in The New York Times last week, I've been trying to figure out how to draw a connection between what he describes––how we're more likely to help a single individual in need, than to help many in need––and the potential of work in the arts. Here's Kristof:

"...as the saying goes, that one death is a tragedy, a million a statistic. More depressing, appeals to our rationality actually seem to impede empathy.

For example, in one study, people donate generously to Rokia, a 7-year-old malnourished African girl. But when Rokia’s plight was explained as part of a larger context of hunger in Africa, people were much less willing to help."

Kristof quotes behavioral scientist Paul Slovic in saying "the more who die, the less we care." People are able to ignore a statistic, but it's hard to not stop and help a single, suffering child.

Kristof's piece reminded me of the unique ability that the arts have, to create an immediate and compassionate human connection to an audience and why that was possible and necessary. We're in a fog, most of the time, thinking about ourselves, and the arts provide immediate connection and understanding that shakes us out of our fog––whether we like it or not.

Listen to Erik Jensen and Jessica Blank talk about why they create documentary theater:

"All of that work that work that we do together I think is really grounded in asking audiences to empathize with people who they might not normally empathize with... the central mechanism of narrative, all narrative, film, novels, theater, etc. etc., is empathy, and I think with theater, that manifests in the most immediate way because everybody is literally in a room together. There's no screen, there's no wall, there's no page, there's no filter of the audience's imagination. Everybody is actually having a shared experience."

Keith Nobbs, too, talked about theater's unique mechanism, something that's created by being in the same room as someone else, and how that forces you to feel compassion for them:

“Someone described the difference of theater and film as watching someone go through something and being in the same room with someone who's going through something.... if someone is crying in front of you, and you're in the same room, and you're breathing the same air, you have to, as a human being, take that in and exist in that space with them and be there for them. You have to show up.”

Jessica and Erik must've noticed this, too, when they first conceived of creating The Exonerated. The project arose after they attended a conference on the death penalty, and heard stories about a group of guys in Illinois who'd had confessions tortured out of them by a particular police commander. They described how at the conference, they saw a documentary on some of the cases, and heard information that was disturbing, but "kind of on an intellectual level." The audience was presented information dispassionately, in a detached, journalistic way.

The key moment for Erik and Jessica came when the conference organizers presented, via cell-phone held up to a microphone, one of the men whose confession had been tortured from him and who remained in prison. "Within about 45 seconds to a minute, everybody in the audience was weeping.... all he was essentially saying was 'I want to go home' and who can't relate to that?"

Suddenly, a concept - "men who'd had false confessions tortured from them" - became a real live person. And he wasn't even in the room, he was miles away, connected by cell phone. But the fact that there was a real human being telling his story on the other end of that line forced every single person in that audience to notice, and to be personally, and passionately moved.

So the key for any artist is to create these moments of connection in anything they do, whether on stage or film, or in any other medium. The arts give us an opportunity to be the opposite of preoccupied: we're able to be present, and fully experience a moment that would otherwise slip by, unnoticed. They give us an immediate and undeniable connection another human being.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and get a little Buddhist on you. Shock! Thich Nhat Hanh, in his book For a Future to Be Possible, talks about Avalokitesvara, the Bodhisattva who is often called the "universal manifestation of compassion." In this section, Thay is talking about the Fourth Mindfulness Training, which starts with the words "Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I vow to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of suffering."

Thay says:

"The meaning of the word Avalokitesvara is 'the one who looks deeply into the world and hears the cries of the world.'; This voice relieves our suffering and suppressed feelings, because it is the voice of someone who understands us deeply -- our anguish, despair, and fear. When we feel understood, we suffer much less."

This is what Keith, Erik, and Jessica describe above. By being in a seat, in a theater, faced with a real live person on stage, we're setting the stage for deep listening. This deep listening allows us to understand another's anguish, despair, and fear, and in turn, it allows us to see that others understand our own anguish, despair, and fear. "When we feel understood, we suffer much less."

So how does this all connect to Kristof's point about our ability to ignore the suffering of millions, while we can't help but want to help a single, suffering individual? It's simply that compassionate work actually creates a real, suffering individual in the space before us, whether on stage, on film, or in any medium. We are hardwired to feel compassion, as I described in the recent Daniel Goleman post. So when that real human being is created before us, we can't help but feel compassion; since, as Jessica said above, "the central mechanism of narrative, all narrative, film, novels, theater, etc. etc., is empathy," we enter any space where a story is being told ready to empathize and to feel compassion for another living being.

This works in two ways:

1. When we feel compassion for another, we want to help that person and relieve his or her suffering. So the arts, then, create a world where we are all driven to help others, to relieve their suffering.

2. When we see a character or story created from a place of compassion, we feel understood, because we know, deeply, that the human beings depicted are no different from us in the most fundamental ways. We feel heard. This is the voice of Avalokitesvara, which "relieves our suffering and suppressed feelings, because it is the voice of someone who understands us deeply -- our anguish, despair, and fear. When we feel understood, we suffer much less."

It's possible, then, that through the arts, the suffering of many, for example, "wrongfully convicted death row inmates," becomes present to us as the suffering of a single human being. We then want to help that real human being, and that compels us to want to help others in the same situation.

In addition, when we experience that other human being as wanting the very same things as ourselves - for example, "I just want to go home," we feel understood, because we know that this human being shares anguish, despair, and fear that we have felt ourselves.

So the Kristof piece truly highlights what we're talking about here. A focus on compassion in the arts is necessary, and could even be a matter of life and death. If you, as an artist, want to connect to your audience, choose compassion. If you work with artists, and want them to connect to their audiences, guide them towards compassion. If you, as an artist, or as someone involved in entertainment or media in any way, want to make an impact on others, to relieve their suffering, choose compassion.

Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen on an artist's responsibility - "What's the cost to the world when the artist chooses not to be compassionate?"

2009-07-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen, the brilliant minds behind the documentary play The Exonerated, were kind enough to talk with me recently and share their point-of-view on compassion, how it's important to them, how it's pervasive in their work, and why an artist has a responsibility to take it on. The Exonerated was drawn from a series of interviews Erik and Jessica did in 2000 with exonerated death row inmates. It premiered in New York City in 2002, was directed by Bob Balaban, and its cast included Richard Dreyfus and Jill Clayburgh. It was later turned into a film starring Danny Glover, Aidan Quinn, Brian Dennehy, Delroy Lindo, and Susan Sarandon.

I'm especially impressed and grateful that they took the time to talk to me now, since they're preparing a new show, Aftermath, drawn from interviews they did with Iraqis who fled after the American invasion in 2003.

One of the topics that kept coming up in our long interview was an artist's responsibility to be compassionate. Surely Jessica and Erik's work is closer than most to that topic; after all, subjects of The Exonerated were former death row inmates, people who spent time in prison, people we might ordinarily dismiss. Jessica and Erik, however, saw them as human beings; as the Dalai Lama says, "Whether people are beautiful and friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own."

Jessica and Erik's play specifically and deliberately used these inmates' very own words to turn them from "enemies" into human beings right before our eyes. But compassion is at the core of Erik and Jessica's work, it's not just a by-product. Listen to Jessica talk about the art of storytelling:

“Storytelling is based in empathy.... it has this incredible potential to... expand our ideas about who we are and who might be like us in the world. It has incredible potential to make us all more compassionate or give us greater access to our own compassion and empathy... because storytelling can do that, absolutely as a storyteller I have a responsibility to absolutely make the most of that potentiality with my work all of the time. Otherwise, I've been given this incredible gift, and I'm not doing anything to serve others.”

Jessica's not just making this up; stories allow us to understand something directly, rather than intellectually. Facts are important, but stories hit us in the gut, and we remember what we've learned. In his book A Whole New Mind, Daniel H. Pink paraphrases E. M. Forster's famous observation:

"A fact is 'The queen died and the king died.' A story is 'The queen died and the king died of a broken heart.'"

Pink says that facts are widely available in the current Information Age, and because they're so widely available, each one becomes less valuable. "What begins to matter more is the ability to place these facts in context and to deliver them with emotional impact."

This gives storytellers a unique responsibility, because they have a unique ability to communicate with emotional impact.

Erik and Jessica go on to discuss why an artist must choose to be compassionate, and what the cost is when they're not working from a place of compassion:

“What's the cost to the world when the artist chooses not to be compassionate? It's an enormous missed opportunity... art is the thing, storytelling is the thing that we have as human beings that keeps us connected to each other, that enables us to empathize with others who we don't know personally and to walk in somebody else's shoes. That's what stories are for. That's why human beings evolved the ability to tell stories and to listen to stories, it's in order to identify with each other.”

But why bother? What's so valuable about being connected to other people? Very simply, it's in our self-interest to be interested in the well-being of others, to understand that we are profoundly and inextricably connected to others. Zen teacher Brad Warner said in our recent conversation:

"Interdependence is the reason you're compassionate. You recognize the interdependence and interconnectedness of things. You suffer if you're not compassionate. We think it's kind of arbitrary or 'it's a good thing' to be compassionate, but it's also an intelligent thing to be compassionate. It's the smartest move you can make, to act in a compassionate way. We normally think we want to get what we can for ourselves, and screw the other guy, and that's seen to be a way to make yourself richer or more powerful, and it works to a limited extent, but I don't think it works ultimately. The reason it's intelligent to act with compassion, because that's ultimately how you are going to feel better. So there's tremendous incentive to act that way. It's not just something you're doing for somebody else, it's something you're doing for yourself."

As Lama Zopa Rin poche says in his book, How to Be Happy, the very essence of obtaining happiness for oneself is to seek happiness for everyone:

"Pacifying your own problems and obtaining peace for yourself alone is not sufficient. That is, to be honest, a very small purpose for living your life. A much more worthy purpose, a purpose that leads to much more happiness for both you and all beings, is to cherish all other beings––all beings everywhere who are suffering and want happiness––the same way that you cherish yourself. This is what brings real happiness and satisfaction."

And as Jessica and Erik echo:

“I really think that our happiness as human beings comes from our sense of connection with others.”

And they make it clear that potential impact is huge!

“All of the things that we can look at the world and say are problems... come out of lack of empathy and lack of compassion.”

For example, Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book, The World We Have:

"If we continue to live as we have been living, consuming without a thought of the future, destroying our forests and emitting dangerous amounts of carbon dioxide, then devastating climate change is inevitable. Much of our ecosystem will be destroyed. Sea levels will rise and coastal cities will be inundated, forcing hundreds of millions of refugees from their homes, creating wars and outbreaks of infectious disease.

We need a kind of collective awakening. There are among us men and women who are awakened, but it's not enough; most people are still sleeping. We have constructed a system we can't control.... We have created a society in which the rich become richer and the poor become poorer, and which we are so caught up in our own immediate problems that we cannot afford to be aware of what is going on with the rest of the human family or our planet Earth. In my mind I see a group of chickens in a cage disputing over a few seeds of grain, unaware that in a few hours they will all be killed."

Whoa. Thanks, Debbie Downer. But what Thay is saying, and Erik and Jessica are saying, is that we each have an opportunity and a responsibility to take action. Erik and Jessica point out that storytellers––actors, writers, directors––have a unique responsibility because of their unique ability and power.

And it would be easy to dismiss this power, because we often can't see its direct result, say, the way a doctor sees a patient survive because of his or her actions, or a teacher sees a child learn to read. But that's no excuse, as Jessica tells us:

“There are a lot of people I know in theater who go around having existential crises all the time about whether art can really ever effect social change or ever really make a difference, and sometimes that kind of existential crisis... can be a trap that allows people to not just dive in and say 'you know what, I'm never really gonna know if this is gonna make a difference.' I think at some point, we have to take a leap and say 'I'm not gonna know that, and do it anyway.'"

As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says,

"When we feel compassion for a person or an animal––any being at all––we wish that being to be free from suffering. When our compassion is strong, we don't simply wish for this but actually do something about it. We ourselves take responsibility for freeing that being from suffering.

In this way, each of us is completely responsible for pacifying all the sufferings of all beings and for bringing them happiness. It is completely in our hands. Each of us has this universal responsibility."

So get to it! Take it on! We each have this responsibility to take on compassion in our lives and careers, and it will give us the greatest happiness possible. And if we don't take it on, the cost is staggering.

You can take it on whether you're an actor, a writer, a director, an agent, a manager, a producer, or really no matter what you do in your life, whether in a creative field or not. As Lama Zopa Rinpoche says,

"Regardless of the nature of your job, as you prepare to do it think to yourself: 'I'm going to offer my services to others because I wish to pacify all their suffering and bring them happiness.'"

Thanks so much to Erik & Jessica for their time–and look for additional videos from our interview in the near future. And make sure to go see Aftermath when it opens!

Movies as Meditation - Keith Nobbs on cultivating compassion by watching Sean Penn - "You get goosebumps! Your body knows when it's real!"

2009-06-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

Here's the truth, and it hurts. Bad. Sometimes I wonder whether this is all just an intellectual exercise. Not that often, but sometimes. I mean, does it really mean anything to anyone, when an actor approaches a role with compassion? Whether he or she really tries to portray them as a human being, without judgment? I mean, Transformers made over $200M this weekend! In spite of its astoundingly bad reviews. Shouldn't we all be emulating that?

But then there are times where a performance deeply affects us, and gives us insight into a human being in a completely new way. No, I'm not talking about Megan Fox. Keith Nobbs, who recently shared his thoughts on contribution with us, and whose own work has deeply affected many, talked to me about watching Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking:

You'll have to watch the video to see him describe Penn's performance, and how the briefest crack in his stoic veneer allowed Keith, as an audience member, access to understand the character as a human being. But here's what Keith says about how you know when it's working:

"When that moment happens, it's not an intellectual thing, it's an emotional engagement. You get goosebumps! Your body knows when it's real... you're completely invested in that feeling... watching people crack... just gets me every time."

Who hasn't felt that way, watching an amazing performance that connects to them personally in an unexpected way. Sean Penn plays a brutal murderer in the film, and creates someone we're able to see as a human being. And we know it's true, because we feel it in our bones.

It's this point that reminds me it's not just intellectual; it's emotional, it's real, and it compels us to understand other human beings as being no different from ourselves. That the way we suffer is universal, that our struggles are universal.

Keith goes on to point out that it ain't easy!

"It's such a beautiful, vulnerable strength, to be able to do that. And you try, and you try to be compassionate with yourself as an actor when you do that successfully, and when you don't. 'Cause you don't, all the time. Sometimes we mess up. Not mess up, but sometimes you're not able, sometimes you're too scared. But to be forgiving and loving of yourself... and to continue to be curious and to continue to be empathetic.... is the goal."

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, who I was fortunate enough to see recently at the New York Shambhala Center, shares this in his new book, Joyful Wisdom:

"Deeply entrenched in our habits of relating to ourselves, other people, things, and situations is a kind of lonely separateness––a sense of independent being that obscures our connectedness to others. This very subtle sense of difference or separation lies at the heart of many personal and interpersonal problems. The practice of empathy takes whatever difficulty or crisis we may be facing as a starting point for recognizing our similarity to others. It gradually opens our minds to a profound experience of fearlessness and confidence while transforming personal problems into a strong motivation to help others."

The empathy that Keith describes in Sean Penn's performance––the empathy Penn has for his character, which creates the empathy we feel for his character––is this "starting point" for recognizing our similarity, and that's why it gives us goosebumps. Rinpoche goes on to talk about how easy it is not to see this similarity.

"It's so easy to think that we're the only ones who suffer while other people were born with the Happiness Handbook...which through some accident of birth, we never received. I've been as guilty of this belief as anyone else. When I was young, the anxiety I almost constantly experienced left me feeling alone, weak, and stupid."

As I have previously quoted, Thich Nhat Hanh talking about what feeling that way makes us do:

"You can make a mistake only when you forget that the other person suffers. You tend to believe that you are the only one who suffers, and that the other person is enjoying your suffering. You will say and do mean and cruel things when you believe that you are the only one who suffers and that the other person does not suffer at all."

Rinpoche goes on to talk about his compassion mediation and how it affected him:

"I found that my sense of isolation began to diminish. At the same time I gradually began to feel confident and even useful. I began to recognize that I wasn't the only person to feel scared and vulnerable. Over time, I began to see that considering the welfare of other beings was essential in discovering my own peace of mind."

Is it possible that watching a performance grounded in compassion is a form of mediation on compassion, in that it causes us to feel more compassion for others? In the moment we're suddenly able to feel compassion for Sean Penn's character, a murderer who we might otherwise judge, is compassion being cultivated within us?

And maybe we only feel that way for a moment, and maybe the compassion fades. But guess what? Same thing with meditation! People practice Tonglen over and over and over for years. The Dalai Lama supposedly practices it every day! I mean, that dude seems pretty compassionate to me and still he feels like he needs to keep practicing. I hope he gets it right at some point.

Seriously though, I'm not suggesting that anyone give up compassion and lovingkindness meditation and start watching movies. But it's clear that watching a performance grounded in compassion opens us up to an understanding of our similarity to others. Including, perhaps, giant robots.

Thanks so much, Keith, for bringing the importance of this to my attention!

Whoops! I forgot to be compassionate! - and a response from Peace Games' Courtney Wong

2009-06-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Another week + has gone by and no posting. What's that about? Lest you think I'm sitting here in lotus position, mindfully breathing while I take on the business that is show, I'd like to share the following:

I frequently get so wrapped up in what's going on in my head that I forget to be compassionate.

That's right. Me. I can be a real jerk sometimes! For instance, I'll be on the phone with an agent, or a producer, or a casting director, and they'll say something that just rubs me the wrong way. Can you believe it? Me, Mr. Non-Judgment? Obviously there must be something really really wrong with them if it bothers me. Or maybe I'm just not being compassionate! Maybe I'm so busy being right that I'm not stopping to think about what they want!

Remember that Triumph song from the 70's, "Fight the Good Fight"? Make sure to watch this video from the 1983 Us Festival. At least watch through to the part where Rik Emmett's face is superimposed over an image of the crowd.

Damn, that guy has a high voice. What is it with Canadian singers? Regardless the message is clear: FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT! What can I do make sure I keep fighting the good fight?

I have an elaborate system of reminders that bring me back to... ommm... compassion. So that when I'm on the phone with someone who's somehow annoying me, I can stop and remember to be compassionate. I can remember what's important to me and why, I can remember to take a breath and come back to the present moment, I can remember why I must be compassionate, how it impacts me when I'm not being compassionate, how it impacts them, and how it impacts the world.

In case you forgot why it's important to be compassionate, click here.

So here are some of my reminders.

1. Buddha on the desk
2. Buddha on the windowsill
3. Pic of my kids on the desk.
4. Pic of my wife on the desk.
5. Pic of my kids and nephews on my big monitor.
6. Plants!
7. Mindfulness bell on my computer
8. Tattoo with my wife and kids' names, and red lotuses (the flower of Avalokitesvara, the bodhisattva of compassion). This is a recent addition, and one that I can take with me wherever I go.
9. Inspiring quotes on my desk. Today, from Chogyam Trungpa, "This very moment is always the occasion."
10. Stacks and stacks of inspiring reading.

If this gets you excited, feel free to find your own ideas. I'd hate to think you were copying me. I especially don't want you getting a tattoo with my wife and kids' names. Or steal, if it really helps. But seriously, don't get my wife and kids' names tattooed on your arm. Seriously. Find your own damn family. Whoops! Off track for a moment.

Anyway I'd like to share one of the other most inspiring things that really keeps me on track––I got an email from our friends at Peace Games who were kind enough to forward this note from one of their interns, Courtney Wong, who's working with them through the New Sector Allia nce Summer Fellowship Program. Here, Courtney discussed the posting about Keith Nobbs' experiences in his work. The picture below is Courtney, just to avoid any confusion.

"I was touched by your moving post about Keith’s experiences with compassion in his acting work. The sense of fulfillment and personal impact that Keith felt in his role as an actor, inspiring compassion and empathy in his audience is quite similar to what Peace Games works to instill in its students.

As an intern at Peace Games through the New Sector Alliance Summer Fellowship program in nonprofit consulting, I only became acquainted with the organization’s work a few weeks ago. I hadn’t previously thought about the idea of “peacemaking” and its importance as a fundamental value taught to students, but in learning about Peace Games’ rich history and work by visiting schools and talking to staff members, I realize that it’s really all about teaching students to act with the basic but essential values of compassion, understanding, and mutual respect.

This idea that you write about, that compassion is the key to having an extraordinary impact, is exactly what Peace Games teaches its students. In our classrooms, students learn about and practice these values, in order to understand that their relationships with peers, family members, and teachers must be filled with compassion, respect, kindness, and empathy. This understanding gives students the ability to have an impact beyond the one already felt in their personal relationships – a greater impact on their communities at large, which they reveal through their community service learning “Peacemaker Projects” carried out during the second half of the year.

As you noted, Keith identifies himself and his work as an important contribution, which is Peace Games’ goal for its students as well. We teach students that we must all be a contribution as peacemakers, people who make a difference, and that the differences we make should be about fostering positive changes in our communities based on compassion and respect."

If you're not already familiar with Peace Games, check out this amazing video on their work:

And thanks so much to Courtney Wong for her inspiring words!

Compassion & Contribution: "Yeah, sure, compassion's great, but what's in it for me?"

2009-06-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry that it's been twelve days since I've posted. In that time I've done two extraordinary interviews, which I've been processing in my mind. I've been doing a lot of reading, too, and it all seems like it's bearing fruit:

You may remember that back in March, I asserted the following:

Compassion is at the center of every career that truly inspires me.
Compassion is the key to the most extraordinary career possible.
Compassion is the key to making the most extraordinary impact possible
Compassion is the key to the happiest life possible.

The very talented and articulate Keith Nobbs was kind enough to share his thoughts with me on compassion as it relates to his work in the arts. Keith's an actor, and he'll soon be seen starring in the massive HBO miniseries The Pacific. Here, Keith talks about working on stage:

"When people go in to a theater, they sit there and they think they have nothing in common with what they're about to see, or who these people are. And throughout the course of... the evening, they realize, these layers of protection start to melt away, and they start to identify with these people and they start to relate to them, and focus on what connects them to these people, instead of what separates and divides them."

This is pretty basic stuff, right? Most would agree, that if the artists putting on a play create something that allows the above to happen, they've been successful in some way.

But there's another layer I'd like to focus on, that's primarily related to numero 3 above: Compassion is the key to making the most extraordinary impact possible.

In the Christopher Shinn play Four, Keith played a young gay teen on a date with a much older man, in a sexually charged scene. The particular performance Keith discusses here is a "student matinee," in front of a theater full of high school kids.

In the video, Keith talks about his concern about performing this play in front of these kids.

“There was a part of me that was so terrified of doing this play in front of those kids, because I thought... these are the people [my character is] most afraid of, and he's having to get up in front of them and be that naked and that vulnerable, and reveal the parts of himself he hates the most, in the least safe environment possible.”

"The risk of doing that in front of other people and revealing that part of yourself in front of that audience... it's terrifying. These are parts of ourselves... they could be joyful parts of ourselves, they could be shameful parts of ourselves that you don't want to reveal, but the power and the freedom of being able to reveal that, and then having people recognize that, and having people respond to that and validate those parts of yourself, is such a powerful... gift for us and for them."

Keith goes on to describe how the kids ultimately reacted to the performance, at a graphic moment in the play:

“They were so invested in the story, and treating it as though this was a real person, with real thoughts and real feelings, it was silence. There was no anxiety, there was no nervous laughter. Everybody was just listening. And it moved me so much, I almost wanted to cry in that moment, because I could feel them giving my character respect, feel them listening to him as if he was a real person. And then I thought about... how amazing to have this forum to tell this story... and the kid out there in the audience... who's gay, who may not even know he's gay, and he's sitting there listening to this story, and these kids, who he's probably afraid of... he can see them listening to this character, and respecting this character, and how moving that it for him to witness.”

There are several layers of compassion here that are pretty obvious: Keith's compassion for the character, which enables him to portray him in a way that allows the audience to actually listen to him and respect him, the audience's compassion for the character, unexpected by Keith, Keith's compassion for himself, allowing himself to feel the fear the character himself might experience among his peers, and Keith's compassion for the audience.

It's this last one I'd like to focus on here, and the impact possible because of it.

After the performance, Keith notices two specific things: that the audience was able to give his character respect, and that there might be someone in the audience who specifically identifies with his character, and who gets something very important from that identification.

So here, compassion is potentially the key to an extraordinary impact. What I find exciting about the way this occurs to Keith is the fact that he so deeply recognized this impact, and in some ways it appears to be part of the fundamental reason he put himself on the line––courageously exposing himself in a terrifying environment.

Here, Keith declares himself a contribution, he recognizes the impact his work may have on an audience, or even on one individual in the audience, and that impact is part of what gives him the ability to take action, however terrifying it might be. And, inevitably, that impact reaches beyond any one individual.

The amazing Zanders talk about "being a contribution" in The Art of Possibility:

"The practice is... inventing oneself as a contribution, and others as well. The steps to the practice are these:
Declare yourself to be a contribution.
Throw yourself into life as someone who makes a difference, accepting that you may not understand how or why...
...when you play the contribution game, it is never a single individual who is transformed. Transformation overrides the divisions of identity and possession that are the architecture of the measurement model, recasting the tight pattern of scarcity into a widespread array of abundance....

...naming oneself and others as a contribution produces a shift away from self-concern and engages us in a relationship with others that is an arena for making a difference. Rewards in the contribution game are of a deep and enduring kind, though less predictable than the trio of money, fame, and power that accrue to the winner in the success game. You never know what they will be, or from whence they will come."

I titled this entry "Yeah, sure, compassion's great, but what's in it for me." I hope that watching Keith Nobbs talk about his work inspires you to consider what is, in fact, in it for you. Think about what Keith says, above:

"And it moved me so much, I almost wanted to cry in that moment, because I could feel them giving my character respect, feel them listening to him as if he was a real person."

How extraordinary to feel that sense of aliveness, that connectedness with his audience, his awareness of the impact possible from his work. As the Zanders say, the rewards are deep and enduring when we take on being a contribution. And considering how you and your life are a contribution to others is the essence of compassion.

Thank you, Keith!

Aimee Mullins on Possibility - “You know, Aimee, you're very attractive. You don't look disabled.”

2009-06-09T17:56:00.001-07:00

How cool is Aimee Mullins? I've gotten to know her just a little bit lately, and she's completely blown me away with her artistry, her strength, and particularly, her compassion.

Check this out from her recent TED talk:

I was speaking to a group of about 300 kids, ages six to eight, at a children's museum, and I brought with me a bag full of legs, similar to the kinds of things you see up here, and had them laid out on a table, for the kids. And, from my experience, you know, kids are naturally curious about what they don't know, or don't understand, or what is foreign to them. They only learn to be frightened of those differences when an adult influences them to behave that way, and maybe censors that natural curiosity, or you know, reins in the question-asking in the hopes of them being polite little kids. So, I just pictured a first grade teacher out in the lobby with these unruly kids, saying, "Now, whatever you do, don't stare at her legs."

But, of course, that's the point. That's why I was there, I wanted to invite them to look and explore. So I made a deal with the adults that the kids could come in, without any adults, for two minutes, on their own. The doors open, the kids descend on this table of legs, and they are poking and prodding, and they're wiggling toes, and they're trying to put their full weight on the sprinting leg to see what happens with that. And I said, "Kids, really quickly -- I woke up this morning, I decided I wanted to be able to jump over a house -- nothing too big, two or three stories -- but, if you could think of any animal, any superhero, any cartoon character, anything you can dream up right now, what kind of legs would you build me?"

And immediately a voice shouted, "Kangaroo!" "No, no, no! Should be a frog!" "No. It should be Go Go Gadget!" "No, no, no! It should be The Incredibles." And other things that I don't -- aren't familiar with. And then, one eight-year-old said, "Hey, why wouldn't you want to fly too?" And the whole room, including me, was like, "Yeah." (Laughter) And just like that, I went from being a woman that these kids would have been trained to see as "disabled" to somebody that had potential that their bodies didn't have yet. Somebody that might even be super-abled. Interesting....

...the conversation with society has changed profoundly in this last decade. It is no longer a conversation about overcoming deficiency. It's a conversation about augmentation. It's a conversation about potential. A prosthetic limb doesn't represent the need to replace loss anymore. It can stand as a symbol that the wearer has the power to create whatever it is that they want to create in that space. So people that society once considered to be disabled can now become the architects of their own identities and indeed continue to change those identities by designing their bodies from a place of empowerment. And what is exciting to me so much right now is that by combining cutting-edge technology -- robotics, bionics -- with the age-old poetry, we are moving closer to understanding our collective humanity. I think that if we want to discover the full potential in our humanity, we need to celebrate those heartbreaking strengths and those glorious disabilities that we all have. I think of Shakespeare's Shylock: "If you prick us, do we not bleed, and if you tickle us, do we not laugh?" It is our humanity, and all the potential within it, that makes us beautiful.

For commentary we go to the amazing Zanders, Rosamund and Benjamin, talking about "being with the way things are" and "speaking in possibility" in their spectacular, amazing, thrilling, and uplifting book The Art of Possibility:

"Often, the person in the group who articulates the possible is dismissed as a dreamer or as a Pollyanna persisting in a simplistic 'glass half-full' kind of optimism. The naysayers pride themselves on their supposed realism. However, it is actually the people who see the glass as 'half-empty' who are the ones wedded to a fiction, for 'emptiness' and 'lack'... are abstractions of the mind, whereas 'half-full' is a measure of the physical reality under discussion. The so-called optimist, then, is the only one attending to real things, the only one describing a substance that is actually in the glass.

The practice of being with the way things are can break the unseen grip of abstractions created as a hedge against danger in a world of survival, and allow us to make conscious distinctions that take us in to the realm of possibility––dreams, for instance, and visions. Imagine if we were to faithfully whisper the immortal words of Martin Luther King, Jr. 'I have a dream....,' as a preface to our every next remark. Speaking in possibility springs from the appreciation that what we say creates a reality; how we define things sets a framework for things to unfold."

Why do I bring this up? Because Aimee's description of the kids' reactions to her many pairs of legs was 1) simply a reaction to the way things are as opposed to a story about how things are i.e. there is a problem here, there is a shortcoming. And, 2) the kids were easily coached by Aimee in to speaking in possibility. She did so by getting two minutes alone with the kids before the adults were able to come in and "censor their natural curiosity" and asking them a question that immediately sparked their imaginations.

Aimee enrolled the kids, which the Zanders talk about later in the book:

"Enrollment is the art and practice of generating a spark of possibility for others to share.... we have at our fingertips an infinite capacity to light a spark of possibility. Passion, rather than fear, is the igniting force. Abundance, rather than scarcity, is the context."

Again, what does this have to do with compassion?

A whole let, let me tell you.

Compassion makes one able to see the limitless possibility in anyone. The Zanders talk about Michaelangelo having said that "inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within." By being truly compassionate, by refusing to judge, by paying attention to what is rather than our story about it––there's something wrong here––we're able to notice what's actually possible for another, whether physically, or in the words and thoughts they have to offer.

So film, for example, gives us an opportunity to notice this, to dwell in possibility rather than in limitation. Watching a historical account of a small time lawyer who rises to free India, for example, in Gandhi, or an aging professor who's played the field for his entire life and suddenly, unexpectedly, finds himself in love in Elegy, or in films starring actors other than Ben Kingsley, one realizes the humanity of others as we see their journeys on screen.

In Elegy, for example, Kingsley's character David Kepesh is utterly sure of himself and his game. When he begins to seduce Consuela (the ridiculously beautiful Penélope Cruz) we immediately understand that the moves he's putting on her are moves he's put on a thousand others. It'd be easy to judge him, but the film––Kingsley's acting along with Cruz, Clarkson, Hopper, Sarsgaard, the wonderful script and direction––allows us to join him on his journey, and gives us an opportunity to understand someone who's been sure of himself his whole life, and then finds himself questioning the whole thing. We see the possibility in Kepesh, we want him to have love and happiness, we know it can be true for him if he'd only allow it to happen. We, as an audience, want to chip away the marble hiding the work of art within.

The oft-quoted Tom Hiddleston:

"Within all of us there is the capacity to be anyone or anything... There is an Iago and a Romeo within all of us, there is that lover, and there is that sociopath."

Benjamin Zander recently gave a TED talk on music, passion, leadership, and possibility:

"I realized my job was to awaken possibility in other people. And of course, I wanted to know whether I was doing that. And you know how you find out? You look at their eyes. If their eyes are shining, you know you're doing it... So if the eyes are shining, you know you're doing it. If the eyes are not shining, you get to ask a question. And this is the question: Who am I being that my players' eyes are not shining? We can do that with our children too. Who am I being that my children's eyes are not shining? That's a totally different world.
Now, we're all about to end this magical, on-the-mountain week, and we're going back into the world. And I say, it's appropriate for us to ask the question: Who are we being as we go back out into the world? And you know, I have a definition of success. For me it's very simple. It's not about wealth and fame and power. It's about how many shining eyes I have around me."

So maybe it's a good opportunity to ask yourself: who am I being that my children's eyes are not shining? Who am I being that my clients' eyes are not shining? Who am I being that my audience's eyes are not shining? Consider that everything you do, say, or even think has an impact, and creates an opportunity to awaken possibility in others.

By focusing your work, and your life on compassion, you create an opportunity to awaken possibility in others. Perhaps, to imagine themselves in love, in spite of the stories they've told themselves. To imagine hope, happiness, and humanity where they'd previously thought none. To imagine themselves having something to contribute, when they might have previously considered themselves worthless.

And by refusing to focus on compassion, by mindlessly ignoring it, you're costing the world something huge.

Aimee Mullins, and the Zanders, are awakening opportunity, and creating shining eyes all around them through their tremendous compassion.

Eckhart Tolle, Jim Carrey, and Melissa Etheridge at the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment Event - June 4 2009

2009-06-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night I went to the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment [GATE] event at Fox. I was really excited to be there, mainly because Eckhart Tolle was scheduled to speak. I'm a big fan of his books A New Earth, and particularly, The Power of Now. I actually listened to the entire Oprah ten hour podcast about A New Earth, though I suppose in the spirit of the book I might have benefitted from just listening instead of running around Prospect Park while listening. And Eckhart did not disappoint. I'll get to that in a moment.

The theme of the evening was “Transforming the World by Transforming Media and Entertainment,” and though it was a bit long, it was really inspiring and I took away a few things that I thought were in alignment with this site.

The intention of the evening was to show how media and entertainment can cause transformation in the world, causing “humanity's awakening... to the truth of who and what we are, and what we are here for.”

Sounds pretty good to me.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

"Clearly, these are times of unprecedented transformation, both individually and globally,” says [GATE] founder John Raatz. “Everywhere you look, people are questioning values, identity, and meaning. We’re intending for GATE to support entertainment and media professionals who realize media’s power to effect positive change, and want to contribute to this transformation through their work.”

Rather than reviewing the entire evening, I'd like to address a few key points that are particularly relevant to this site:

First off, and most importantly:

Eckhart Tolle is a big Seinfeld fan.

I mean, who'd-a-thunk-it?

I had him pegged for That's So Raven.

Okay, seriously.

Melissa Etheridge talked and performed, and I was totally blown away. Some of you who are fans of Ms. Etheridge might not be surprised by this, but being momentarily on automatic pilot, the judging, assessing machine that I am completely dismissed her when I saw her on the program. Ya see, I'm into really cool music, not that pop crap that's on the radio. And so, because Melissa Etheridge was unfortunate enough to sell millions of records and have huge airplay, I decided she wasn't worth paying attention to. Yay me!

If you're not getting the tone here, it's ironic. Sometimes hard to pull that off in print. Anyway check Dawn Andrews' recent post for clarification; the same thing happened to me that happened to the slam poet in her story. Melissa Etheridge opened her damn mouth and I was completely blown away by how funny she was, how honest and personal she was, and how what she had to say about her life and career was something I completely understood. I'm not going to do her speech the injustice of trying to paraphrase it here, but suffice it to say she talked about the immense success she had and how empty it ultimately felt, and her subsequent fight with cancer, and her spiritual awakening. And then how Al Gore called her and wanted her to write a song for his little movie. And then she sang I Need to Wake Up which apparently won her an Oscar. Wow, she can sing. Who knew?

So that's lesson one I took away from this evening. When I'm judging and assessing, I'm not actually paying attention, but I was fortunate enough that she was so amazing, she shook me out of my fog and I actually started listening.

Lucky for me.

Jim Carrey was awesome too. I have not been a fan in the past, and in fact I have often sneered as I said his name. Like this:

Oh, I just can't wait until they remake Being There. Except instead of someone who'd play it totally real like Peter Sellars, they'd hire, like, Jim Carrey, and he'd do a funny voice the whole time.

That little piece of compassionless judgement was eradicated after watching this video.

That dude is freakin' funny! I might just rent The Yes Man at some point. Or if it's on a plane. Seems like a plane movie.

On to Eckhart.

John Raatz has talked about the media's power to effect positive change. Eckhart Tolle talked on Thursday night about different ways that's already happening. And in my view, all of the ways he discussed ultimately point to compassion.

Eckhart talked at length about impermanence, which is a fundamental concept in Buddhist studies. In fact, it's called the First Dharma Seal. But it's common sense: everything is changing, all the time. Nothing is exactly the same as it was a moment ago, or a year ago. From Thich Nhat Hanh's The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching:

“The Buddha taught that everything is impermanent––flowers, tables, mountains, political regimes, bodies, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness. We can not find anything that is permanent.”

Eckhart pointed out that media that portrays impermanence effects transformation. He pointed out the film Titanic, and how it showed the young Rose and the elderly Rose, as well as the gleaming new ship rising from the image of the wrecked ship underwater. These remind us of the impermanence of life, which, in turn, reminds us to embrace the present moment.

From Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Understanding impermanence can give us confidence, peace, and joy. Impermanence does not necessarily lead to suffering. Without impermanence, life could not be. Without impermanence, your daughter could not grow up into a beautiful young lady. Without impermanence, oppressive political regimes would never change. We think impermanence makes us suffer. The Buddha gave the example of a dog that was hit by a stone and got angry at the stone. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.

We need to learn to appreciate the value of impermanence. If we are in good health and are aware of impermanence, we will take good care of ourselves. When we know that the person we love is impermanent, we will cherish our beloved all the more. Impermanence teaches us to respect and value every moment and all the precious things around us and inside of us.”

Tolle, and Thich Nhat Hanh, understand the importance of recognizing the pervasiveness of impermanence in our lives, and Tolle points out that being reminded of this by film creates an opportunity for transformation.

So the $64,000 question is, how does this relate to compassion? We don't really know whether Jim Cameron told the story in the way he did because he wanted to teach his audience a lesson in compassion. But the work itself is fundamentally compassionate, because it tells a story that connected to millions of people. Think about it. People watched Titanic, and felt connected to it, not simply because of the enormous spectacle, but because of the human story. We've seen plenty of examples of hugely expensive films that came and went, and plenty of them made a fair amount of money. But Titanic was a phenomenon, and a great deal of credit for that has to go to the inherently human story at its core. Part of that human story was this implicit reminder that we all age, we all decay, and like the lovers at the center of this story, we can only seize this very moment not knowing what's around the next corner.

Tolle also talked about the amazing film Groundhog Day, and how Bill Murray's character is stuck in an endless loop, repeating the same day over and over until he finally starts to grow out of his self-centeredness. Tolle talked about how Murray's character finally learns to accept the present moment, and accept and befriend those around him, finally finding real love rather than empty seduction.

At its core, a lesson in compassion. A story about a man who's stuck in an empty life, angry, unhappy, and doomed to repeat every day the same way until he grows. An exaggeration, perhaps, but not an extreme one––how many of us live the same day over and over, angry, unhappy, stuck in our story and unwilling to change except in ways that benefit us, directly, in the short-term. And the message here is that when Murray's character finally starts to realize how stuck he really is, he starts to take a different path.

What's clear to me is that each film had a massive impact on its audience. By genuinely and deeply exploring the nature of human beings and their relationships, the filmmakers of each film were able to connect to an audience in a profound way and effect transformation––whether by highlighting the impermanence of life, and the value of cherishing every moment, or by showing how we're doomed to repeat the same thing over and over until we finally start to genuinely connect to others.

So if you want to really connect to an audience, consider compassion. If you want to make an impact, consider compassion. If you want to be happy, consider compassion.

Thanks so much to John Raatz, Eckhart Tolle, Jim Carrey, Melissa Etheridge, and the evening's other speakers, who made it crystal clear how media and entertainment can have a transformational effect on the world. And from my (admittedly biased) point-of-view, for that transformation to take place, a focus on compassion is fundamental.

Edoardo Ballerini - "at the root of every artist is a desire to connect with an audience" and Renny Gleeson on our culture of availability

2009-06-01T08:03:00.000-07:00

Edoardo Ballerini recently shared his thoughts with us on listening; this was part of a longer conversation that we cut into bits separated by topic. I thought Edoardo's point-of-view on listening made a whole lotta sense, so much so that I've taken some pretty dramatic steps to improve my own listening which I'll share in a moment.

Renny Gleeson recently shared his his point-of-view on our culture of availability during a very funny TED talk this year.

Renny talked about the tactics and strategies we use to furtively check our emails and texts while in various social contexts. Check out the video, it really makes a point. My favorite tactic shows up at about 1:35 - the "love you, mean it."

Renny says that when we're standing with someone and looking at our BlackBerry or iPhone, we're saying, "you are not as important as literally almost anything that could come to me through this device."

It's the exact opposite of being present, and without genuinely being present to another, it's impossible to imagine being compassionate to them. How can you be compassionate when you're not listening? When you're saying, as Gleeson says, "what's happening here, now, isn't as important to me as what could be happening anywhere else."

So this has everything to do with Edoardo's talk about listening. Edoardo said:

"We spend most of our lives and days I believe with assumptions about the world around us... especially as the years go by you get a little older, you think you know how things work, you think you know what somebody's going to say to you or what they mean by something, and we stop listening. We stop listening to our friends, our partners, the people we work with, the random person walking down the street, we just kinda shut everything out. The skill of listening... allows you to let go of yourself, understand where somebody else is coming from."

In thinking about Gleeson's talk, and Jon Kabat-Zinn's work, and my daily doses of Thich Nhat Hanh, and with the help of a few of my friends, I'm cutting down my email, instant message, and Facebooking dramatically. How can I be compassionate if I'm not paying attention? If you've been on the phone with me, you know what I'm talking about. We're in the middle of talking about something, and then I pause... maybe respond with a noncommittal uh-huh, and then come back to our conversation as though nothing has happened. But what you probably intuited was that I was taking a brief peek at an email or an IM, and for that moment, I wasn't there with you, I was somewhere else. Doing something else.

Something that was apparently more important than actually talking to you.

So for the past two weeks I've shut down my email except for specific times of day, when that's all I'm doing. I'm not talking on the phone, I'm not in a meeting. I'm just catching up on and responding to emails. I've abolished IM'ing entirely. In the past, when I was on the phone, one of our assistants would alert me to an incoming call, and I'd tell them what to do via IM, while I remained on the original call. I don't know how I never noticed before that this requires a significant amount of brain energy, that while I'm iChatting, I'm not actually in the original conversation!

The same thing applies to when I'm at home: specific times of day for email, no furtive BlackBerry usage. Do I really want to send my wife and kids the message that anything coming through this device is more important than being here, right now, with you?

Wish me luck. All in the name of cultivating compassion.

Moving on to Edoardo's second video, which we actually recorded at the same time as the first. Don here kindly cut the videos to pieces so that we could discuss them by topic.

Edoardo talks about compassion, and how "art, in general, is rooted in compassion."

"As an audience member I think the things that fail, be it a painting or a movie... or whatever it may be, are the ones that you walk away from thinking that didn't actually say anything to me, it didn't actually mean anything to me, it didn't try to understand me, it didn't try to explain the world that might be helpful to me."

Again, fundamentally, Edoardo's pointing out the obvious: that without compassion, which requires listening, it's hard to imagine how an artist would be able to connect with an audience.

Thanks, Edoardo!

Dawn Andrews - "Nothing extraordinary is possible until you're in conversation with the world around you."

2009-05-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

Dawn Andrews is a peak performance coach who specializes in working with creative artists in achieving extraordinary lives and careers in entertainment. I talked to Dawn recently about her work with actors, writers, and directors, and how she saw compassion as important in their careers.

"Compassion isn't important in anyone's career, until it is. I find myself living mostly, and maybe unfortunately, in a place of not being compassionate until something presents itself, whether it's my own struggle or the struggle of someone else, but I don't find that compassion is a 'way of being' that I approach life from. And I do see what it costs me, my clients and the world around me to be that way when I'm presented with one of those issues.

I went to go see this guy perform who's a hip-hop scholar, and slam poet. He put together this amazing piece about his travels... The most extraordinary parts of that piece were the parts where I haven't had his experience but yet I could completely relate to the story he was telling. He was sharing a moment where he had traveled to Senegal. His plan was to meet a woman who had given up her life in Lubbock, Texas, and committed herself to spreading the word about female genital mutilation, and trying to get the tribes to stop the ancient and brutal practice. he went to help her.

The way he described it, he expected that, as African-American man, he would drop into Senegal and immediately fold himself into the culture and change the tribal leaders minds because he had the right skin color. [He said] he had this "I am one of them yet I know better than they do" attitude. He arrives, but when he met this tall Swedish woman from Texas, who was married to a Senegalese man and spoke like five different African dialects, it became so abundantly clear how out of his league and out of his element he was because he had put up this whole egotistical view of "how this is gonna go" and who he was in the world. He was "black" but he discovered she was "African." He realized that from where he was coming from he couldn't affect any change.

When he shared that moment I felt both compassion for him, having that veneer cracked wide open, because I could see the child in him in the telling of the story, and the wonder that he had for what was available to him... Regardless of whether I've been to Senegal or not I have had those moments where you think you have a total and complete understanding of how "someone is" or "how something's gonna work," and I've approached it with a coat of armor on. Before that moment he was more committed to being cool and having the situation "wired" than to making the difference that he came to make.

It is so powerful to me that something as simple as a woman speaking a few words in a different language has you drop the act and make yourself completely open and vulnerable and present and available to what's really going on. And so that's what I was meaning when I was saying that compassion isn't important until it is. Usually, it's not there, at least for me, until I realize that my coat of armor is keeping me from an opportunity to connect or see or participate in something that I've blocked myself from. Artists provide that opportunity for people every time they write or perform or share themselves with the world.

The most extraordinary things that I've seen people do, whether it was totally conscious for them or not... the compassion was there. For instance in this guy's performance, he may not have named it as compassion either for himself or the community he found himself in, or for what he was coming to support this woman in doing. But he would not have been available to do the work he did in Senegal and then share it in his performance with me in such a way that I was completely moved and inspired by it, if there wasn't compassion present.

Through his sharing he lit that match in me. In seeing him move through his struggle, of "hi, I'm this guy, and this is how it's gonna go, and I've got all this information," to "oops," crack the egg open, and now I'm see myself in his situation. It gave me permission sitting in the audience not only to be moved by his story but to feel the same way for myself whenever I step up to do anything I think I've got wired -- in coaching people for instance. When working with clients I find this struggle more prevalent in actors. Maybe it's the need to protect themselves, since they are the instrument of delivery as opposed to words on a page or something outside themselves. There is a lot of "putting on the armor." The cost is that the creative choices that come from that place tend not to be very unique or heartfelt or truthful or have the ability to connect with an audience. At least not on a deeper level that has them moved and inspired."

I asked Dawn if she's seen a difference when the armor comes off.

"Oh my god. I'm committed to every artist finding the compassion and to coaching them compassionately. The difference when the armor is off is like seeing the divine channeled through someone else. In its simplest form, you're either in a conversation with yourself, and other people happen to be in your vicinity, or you're present and in a conversation with the world that's surrounding you. Nothing extraordinary is possible until you're in conversation with the world around you."

Wow. I have nothing more to say except for, "Thank you, Dawn!"

Jon Kabat-Zinn - "interconnectedness is primary... it is the birthplace of empathy and compassion."

2009-05-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

The great mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn talks extensively about our relationship to our true nature, and how that relates to creativity, in his book Coming to Our Senses.

"...perhaps you have noticed that the sense of self is telling us all the time that we are not complete. It tells us that we have to get someplace else, attain what needs to be achieved, become whole, become happy, make a difference, get on with it, all of which may indeed be partially true and relatively true, and to that degree, we need to honor those intuitions. But it forgets to remind us that, on a deeper level, beyond appearances and time, whatever needs to be attained is already here, now -- that there is no improving the self -- only knowing its true nature as both empty and full, and therefore profoundly useful.
Knowing that in the deepest of ways, knowing it with the entirety of our being, we can then rest in the knowing itself and act much less self-centeredly in the world, potentially in amazingly creative ways for the benefit of other beings and with an attitude of non-harming and non-forcing. We can do this because we know on some fundamental level, not merely intellectually, that 'them' is always 'us.' This interconnectedness is primary. It is the birthplace of empathy and compassion, of our feeling for the other, our impulse and tendency to put ourself in the place of the other, to feel with the other. This is the foundation for ethics and morality, for becoming fully human -- beyond the potential nihilism and groundless relativism stemming from a merely mechanistic and reductionist view of the mind and of life.

From this perspective, in a very real sense you are not who or what you think you are. And neither is anybody else. We are all much larger, and more mysterious. Once we know this, our possibilities for creativity expand enormously, because we understand something about how we get in our own way and are diminished through our obsessive self-involvement and self-centeredness, our preoccupation with what we think is important but really isn't fundamental."

As I read this, it occurs to me that what Kabat-Zinn saying is something we already implicitly know but rarely acknowledge, and this is the root of what draws us to arts with compassion at their core. That "...we know on some fundamental level, not merely intellectually, that 'them' is always 'us.' This interconnectedness is primary."

The fact that interconnectedness is primary, and that we all implicitly understand that, means that when we see it acknowledged in the arts in different ways, it automatically rings as true to us. It's common sense. How often do we see a character going through something we personally relate to, and find that it moves us.

I watched part of a movie with my wife this weekend. The woman in the film was going through an enormous emotional upheaval, adjusting to her new life as a mother and the shift that caused in her life and in her marriage. And my wife turned to me and said, "here's how I know X is not doing a good job. This is a woman going through something I've gone through myself, almost identically, and I don't feel one bit for her. She's going through the motions."

When I pressed her further about it, later on, Amy said, "It didn't seem real to me and maybe that's because she's not a terribly good actress and she doesn't have anything to draw from. Maybe if you were a good actress you could draw on something else that made you feel powerless in that way and conjure up those feelings in a different situation. But she's never been through that and she's not adept enough at channeling her existing emotions to make it feel real. I don't think you have to be somebody who's done that specific thing in order to portray it but this actress just didn't have the ability to pull it off."

Obviously Amy doesn't speak for the whole world as an audience, but I was surprised to see such a specific example in a major film and to see how this lack of connection was directly by felt by Amy as an audience member. She had a direct relationship to the subject matter but felt nary a whiff of empathy, based on a performance that she perceived as lacking depth.

This is the impact I talked about earlier:

"There's a deep cost to the world that comes from this kind of behavior. We're suffering, and we're being deprived of the things that bind us, that show us what we have in common, that give us hope."

Imagine someone somewhere watching this film. Possibly a woman in a similar situation, facing a new stage in her life, a shift in her relationship to her husband, maybe coming to grips with what it feels like to be a mother and what that means to her. Or maybe it's something else entirely––maybe it's a man watching the film, who might be affected by a theme of feeling powerless in a family situation, or a teenager watching the performance, who might see his or her own mother or father in this performance, might understand them just a little bit.

Except it doesn't happen. The woman, the man, the teenager, they're all being robbed of the opportunity for connection. Not seeing, or even more importantly, feeling, any real connection to the person on screen, the moment passes, and an opportunity is wasted. The person goes on with their life, not knowing they might've been affected––however slightly or profoundly––and their life continues, untouched.

As I said earlier, when talking about my trip with Save the Children to the Navajo Nation, there is a cost to inaction. When you have an opportunity to make a difference in another's life, and you don't, there is an impact.

"There have been plenty of times when I've thought, I don't have the time, I'm tired, I'm busy, someone else will do it. And on this trip I saw the direct impact of the work Save the Children was doing, on real kids. Just like my own kids. And this relates to the arts in the same way. We can choose to remain in a fog, and rob the world of the real impact we have to offer. Or we can take on compassion in our lives and careers and make a difference."

Edoardo Ballerini on listening - "One of the things you're trained to do as an actor.... is listen."

2009-05-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

Edoardo Ballerini, is an extraordinary actor and one of the stars of the upcoming film Life is Hot in Cracktown. I talked to Edoardo yesterday about how thoughts on compassion and he started talking to me about listening. I immediately started thinking about that night's two hour Ugly Betty finale, the fancy camera I was holding and whether I should upgrade it, what kind of mileage BMW motorcycles get, and whether I should get an iced coffee or a regular coffee on my next trip to Starbucks. Then I thought, wow, this guy is going on and on, maybe I should pay attention. He might have something to say that makes me look good!

I'm kidding, of course. Edoardo had so much to say that was so insightful, that I split our talk into two bits. This first piece is on listening:

Edoardo pointed out to me that one of the fundamental skills necessary to being a good actor is listening. That it's fundamental to any actor's training, and, as Edoardo pointed out, the skill of listening is "exactly what's needed [to cultivate] compassion."

"We spend most of our lives and days I believe with assumptions about the world around us... especially as the years go by you get a little older, you think you know how things work, you think you know what somebody's going to say to you or what they mean by something, and we stop listening. We stop listening to our friends, our partners, the people we work with, the random person walking down the street, we just kinda shut everything out. The skill of listening... allows you to let go of yourself, understand where somebody else is coming from."

This is strikingly similar to Zen master Shunryu Suzuki's words in his classic book, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind:

"When you listen to someone, you should give up all your preconceived ideas and your subjective opinions; you should just listen to him, just observe what his way is. We put very little emphasis on right and wrong or good and bad. We just see things as they are with him, and accept them. This is how we communicate with each other. Usually when you listen to some statement, you hear it as a kind of echo of yourself. You are actually listening to your own opinion. If it agrees with your own opinion you may accept it, but if it does not, you will reject it or you may not even really hear it.... a mind full of preconceived ideas, subjective intentions, or habits is not open to things as they are."

Since listening is so fundamental to acting, and it's so fundamental to cultivating compassion––accepting another as they are, with no "right or wrong," it's no wonder we keep finding connections between acting and compassion.

Stay tuned for more on Edoardo's thoughts on compassion.

Thanks, Edoardo!

Peace Games' Julia Garcia on "Noticing the Other"

2009-05-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

Julia Garcia, who's a Peace Games Program Manager, recently read the recent posting on "Noticing the Other" and was kind enough to share her thoughts with us:

"Thanks for this very thought provoking post about 'noticing the other.' As a Peace Games staff person in Boston, it is my pleasure to see children taking part in this compassionate work every day.

The children we work with come from homes and neighborhoods very different from the home I grew up in, however, as you said, they are fundamentally no different from me. These kids yearn to be accepted, loved and respected. And during Peace Games they get a chance to flex their 'compassion muscles' and show their communities just how great they can be.

In the second half of our school year, the students in pre-K – 8th grades participate in 'Peacemaker Projects' that often use the arts as a universal way to communicate their learning. This spring, I have witnessed some of the most extraordinary examples of peacemaking done by children who have true and deep compassion for others.

In one 8th grade class, the children planned and discussed a peace mural that would be hung outside their school to designate it as a 'peaceful zone.' The mural is now finished and the kids feel extraordinarily proud of the hard work they put into their project and for the message it sends to their community. Another class, a 5th grade group, wrote a rap about resisting the temptation to join a gang and have performed it to passersby on the street to raise awareness. Both of these groups felt very connected to the messages of peace they were putting out and were happy to have a way and a place to showcase their compassion for their community and for others.

The arts are a powerful way to communicate compassion—thanks for bringing positive attention to it!"

Julia's personal observation that the kids she works with want what she wants, that they "yearn to be accepted, loved and respected," is fundamental to her ability to work with them. It may seem obvious, but in order to see the humanity and possibility in someone, we first need to see that they are human, and they have the same needs as any human.

Peace Games trains the kids to do exactly what Julia is doing, to see each other as human, and to see the world as full of human beings with infinite possibility.

The Peace Games kids use the arts to express compassion more directly than many actors, writers, or directors I encounter in my daily life in the entertainment business, and the directness of this message is powerful. I am reminded of Eric Dawson, President of Peace Games, and his message last month. Eric talked about how a group of first graders empowered a kid, Brian, who'd previously been bullying them, and made him responsible for their safety.

"What to me is so beautiful about this story is the spirit of compassion, that motivated those first graders to help their friend, and that motivated all of those first graders to sit down with Brian, and instead of saying 'you're a bad kid,' or 'we don't like you, we're gonna come get you,' to say 'here's what we need you to do,' to invite him into their community and set up the expectation that he could be a good, thoughtful contributor to their lives."

What Julia and Eric are pointing out is the power of Peace Games, that when kids can be trained in compassion, they can be trained to act compassionately, and the result of that can be a powerful transformation. These kids saw Brian not as a 'bad kid' but as someone who could make a huge difference in their lives. And because they saw him that way, he became that person, who was capable of being their protector.

This is the impact the arts can have on real, concrete, day-to-day actions. In the same way kids can be trained to express compassion through art, and in that process become more compassionate themselves, artists can take on compassion as a focal point in their art, become more compassionate themselves, and lead audiences to consider the same focus. Imagine the impact if this happened on a large scale, imagine the reach of the American movie business, of the massive numbers of eyeballs glued to television and computer screens watching human stories.

As I have said repeatedly, were every artist or aspiring artist able to see the profound effect of compassion––how a focus on compassion can cause the deepest impact on one's work and life, and create the most heartfelt imprint on the world at large––it would inevitably cause a surge of creativity, inspiration, and compassion among artists, aspiring artists, and their audiences.

Thank you Julia!

Save the Children's Jane Berliner - Taking Risks in Art, and Seeing the Suffering of Others

2009-05-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Jane Berliner was an agent at Creative Artists Agency for the better part of her adult life, and she later transitioned to her current post as the director of the Artist Ambassador Program at Save the Children. I was fortunate enough to work with Jane when she was at CAA, and I count myself very lucky to work with her in her current post as well.

Jane is a rare gem; she was an extraordinary agent, and she represented some of the biggest actors in the business for a long time. And her passion and commitment to the work she does with Save the Children is absolutely spectacular. You can read more about our recent work together on my "Noticing the Other" posting, as well as as this posting on Authentic's Community Page.

So given the apparent but illusory dichotomy of Jane's career, I thought she'd be a perfect candidate to discuss her thoughts on compassion in the arts.

Here's Jane talking about what it was like working with some of the world's biggest stars, and watching them prepare to take on a role.

“I've seen my former clients be compassionate about characters they play, even some tough characters to enjoy and like... what I can tell you that I witnessed is a complete commitment to getting to know not only the character, but the character's immediate family, or community.”

This is not all that different from what Tom Hiddleston described a month ago:

"'suffering with' means taking on another's suffering as your own, a deep kind of understanding and connectedness with another human being. Having compassion for people as a whole, for the whole palette of humanity, all of us with all strengths, weaknesses, our flaws, our nobility and fragility."

Jane went on to describe why work created with a compassionate heart is attractive to her as an audience member:

“I get a much more fulfilling experience because I have a more complete picture of this person when they're created out of compassion. I think that there's a tremendous effect on the result when the process is that thorough.... If you don't get out there and really risk changing up your own life to the point where you get to know another's life, really know it, once you do that risk, then it will show up in the work. It must show in the work. Because it's now in you. It's a part of you."

As I said recently:

"by being present to the fact that the people I was meeting were fundamentally no different from my own family, no different from me, I was momentarily shaken out of my fog, and I briefly understood the necessity for compassion. I am often and ordinarily preoccupied, but being in this unique circumstance shifted my awareness."

When an actor takes on that risk for us, it shows up in the work, and jars us into awareness of our fundamental sameness. This attention to detail, this thoroughness Jane describes, strikes us, as audience members, as real, and we're attracted to it because of that. Hence, Jane's "more fulfilling experience."

And because Jane has worked in two such apparently separate worlds, she's privy to the somewhat obvious connection between them:

“Working with Save the Children, the people that I see coming and working with us, I think are true artists, not celebrities.... I would have to say that whatever it is that they're seeing the suffering of fellow humankind, I am certain the compassion that rises because of that experience finds its way into the art. I'm sure of it.”

Thank you, Jane, for sharing your thoughts, and for being such a compassionate force, making a difference for millions of children worldwide.

Peace Games' Rena Deitz - "...the recipe for compassion is simple ... to get it right takes practice"

2009-05-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Our friends at Peace Games have been sharing the work on this site with their staff and volunteers. Rena Deitz, a Development and Communications Intern at Peace Games, had this to say about James Suskin's "Recipe for Compassion":

"James Suskin has it right. The recipe for compassion is simple, and has only a few ingredients. However, much like the recipe for a soufflé, to get it right takes practice and expertise. That is where Peace Games comes in. As an intern in Development and Communications at Peace Games I thought I would be dealing only with logistics and fundraising. Instead, everyday I work with compassionate individuals who teach children how to combine the ingredients: people, time and infinite space. By sharing their compassion, they give children the practice and expertise to be compassionate peace builders in their community."

I was inspired by reading this, because it reminded me that compassion exists in all of us as a possibility; each one of us has the capacity to be compassionate at any given moment. If a moment arises where we forget to be compassionate, we need not regret; we must simply be compassionate, and take compassionate action in this very moment. And as Peace Games' work reminds children to be compassionate––or, perhaps, gives them the tools and opportunity to recognize their own, intrinsic, compassionate selves––so can the arts remind all of us to be compassionate in our daily lives.

"Each moment is a chance for us to make peace with the world, to make peace possible for the world, to make happiness possible for the world." - Thich Nhat Hanh

"Compassion is the awareness of a deep bond between yourself and all creatures. But there are two sides to compassion, two sides to this bond. On the one hand, since you are still here as a physical body, you share the vulnerability and mortality of your physical form with every other human and with every living being. Next time you say 'I have nothing in common with this person,' remember that you have a great deal in common: A few years from now -- two years or seventy years, it doesn't make much difference-- both of you will have become rotting corpses, then piles of dust, then nothing at all. This is a sobering and humbling realization that leaves little room for pride. Is this a negative thought? No, it is a fact. Why close your eyes to it? In that sense, there is total equality between you and every other creature." - Eckhart Tolle

Noticing the "Other"

2009-05-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

I recently visited the Navajo Nation in Arizona as part of a trip organized by Save the Children. The areas we visited were extremely poor and remote. We were told the average family income there was well below $20,000 annually, and the unemployment rate was currently 56%. One of the Save the Children staffers traveling with us told me the landscape in some of the dusty towns we visited reminded her of trips she'd taken to the poorest regions of Africa.

This was a trip connected to my work as a manager; I was traveling with a client who's involved with Save the Children as a supporter and spokesperson. So, naturally, I started to think about what I experienced there and how it related to compassion in the arts.

Of course, having a celebrity publicly bring attention to a cause is a powerful way to make a difference for that cause. And I'm thrilled that we were able to bring attention to the amazing work Save the Children is doing in the Navajo Nation and worldwide.

But how did this visit directly inform what we've been discussing here: compassion, as it relates to work in the arts, and how it helps to create the most extraordinary work possible, the work with the greatest impact, and how it helps to give one the happiest life possible?

In that respect, I was particularly struck by two observations. The first was very simple:

• The families we visited were fundamentally no different from my own. I was profoundly and immediately present to the fact that the parents we visited wanted their children to thrive, the same way I want my children to thrive.

I found this quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Whether people are beautiful and friendly or unattractive and disruptive, ultimately they are human beings, just like oneself. Like oneself, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Furthermore, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal to one's own. Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long as they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain just as you do, there is no logical basis to discriminate between them or to alter your concern for them if they behave negatively..... Because we all share an identical need for love, it is possible to feel that anybody we meet, in whatever circumstances, is a brother or sister. No matter how new the face or how different the dress and behavior, there is no significant division between us and other people. It is foolish to dwell on external differences, because our basic natures are the same."

These people we encountered were beautiful and friendly, but the lives they live are very different from the life I live, and the life I share with my family. And what was clear to me, and present in an extraordinary was was just that: they want what I want. We are the same.

This may seem obvious, but for me, personally, I'm not always 100% aware of this fact. I would venture to guess that's how most of us exist, with occasional flashes of awareness. Here's author and psychologist Daniel Goleman from a recent TED talk:

“The new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience is that our default wiring is to help, that is to say, if we attend the other person we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them. They're these newly identified neurons, mirror neurons, that act like a neural WiFi, activating in our brain exactly the areas activated in theirs. We feel with automatically. And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering, we're automatically prepared to help.... but then the question is, why don't we? The simple fact is that if we're focused on ourselves, if we're preoccupied as we so often are throughout the day, we don't really fully notice the other.”

We don't really fully notice the other. So by being present to the fact that the people I was meeting were fundamentally no different from my own family, no different from me, I was momentarily shaken out of my fog, and I briefly understood the necessity for compassion. I am often and ordinarily preoccupied, but being in this unique circumstance shifted my awareness. Context is decisive.

Shantideva said, in The Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life:

"When happiness is equally dear to others and myself, then what is so special about me that I strive after happiness for myself alone?"

So how do we create this awareness in our day-to-day lives? This sense of compassion for every living being we encounter? As Goleman says, we're preoccupied, we don't notice it when it's right in front of our faces. How many times has each of us stepped past a homeless person on the street, someone stricken with tears on the subway?

This awareness is exactly what the arts can provide. That each of us is fundamentally the same as each and every human being on the planet, each wanting happiness, each wanting to avoid suffering. And, as Goleman says, this is our natural way of being; we're hardwired to be compassionate. Maybe that's why it feels good, maybe it's a product of evolution, the same way we naturally think puppies and children are cute and we instinctively want to take care of them.

And it's our natural inclination to compassion, to connectedness, to humanity, that attracts us to this work in the arts. When we see work that comes from a place of compassion, we're naturally brought to that awareness, of our essential human "sameness," and it feels good.

To clarify:

The arts can break through our usual fog and provide access to our natural tendency towards compassion,
We are attracted to work with a foundation in compassion, because it feels right. We share our inherent needs with everyone else on the planet, and seeing that recognized on screen, on stage, or on paper makes us feel with automatically.

The second observation I had on this trip was this:

• There is a cost to inaction.

There have been plenty of times when I've thought, I don't have the time, I'm tired, I'm busy, someone else will do it. And on this trip I saw the direct impact of the work Save the Children was doing, on real kids. Just like my own kids. And this relates to the arts in the same way. We can choose to remain in a fog, and rob the world of the real impact we have to offer. Or we can take on compassion in our lives and careers and make a difference.

This is what I said in an earlier posting, talking about work that was mercenary, uninspired, and bereft of compassion:

"There's a deep cost to the world that comes from this kind of behavior. We're suffering, and we're being deprived of the things that bind us, that show us what we have in common, that give us hope.

And where does that lead us? To a world full of entertainment created by the uninspired. Sure, there are exceptions, but in a world where artists are being told to focus on business strategy, those exceptions are sure to become rarer and rarer."

So here it is, the call to action. Taking on compassion in your work, in the arts or in your daily life, is the key to the most extraordinary career possible, the most extraordinary life possible, it allows you to make the most extraordinary impact possible, and it's the key to the happiest life possible.

Be compassion. Take it on.

Thich Nhat Hanh

"When you begin to understand the suffering of the other person, compassion will arise in you, and the language you use will have the power of healing. Compassion is the only energy that can help us connect with another person."

H. H. The Dalai Lama:

"Ultimately, the reason why love and compassion bring the greatest happiness is simply that our nature cherishes them above all else. The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. It results from the profound interdependence we all share with one another. However capable and skillful an individual may be, left alone, he or she will not survive. However vigorous and independent one may feel during the most prosperous periods of life, when one is sick or very young or very old, one must depend on the support of others...

...It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help of others that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others."

Casting Director Kim Miscia - "Compassion in the arts is just like compassion in one's everyday life"

2009-05-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Kim Miscia, who's a friend and a highly respected casting director here in New York City, shared her thoughts on compassion and how it relates to her work:

"Compassion in my field of the arts, casting, has shown its face to me in many instances over the years...

...like the face of the megastar TV and film actress/producer, who went out of her way to make a nervous young actress comfortable before she began her audition.

...or the face of a famous theater director who laughed heartily at every person's audition for a comedy--whether they were funny or not.

...or the face of an award winning writer, who, when an actor fumbled with his lines, reassured the young man that the words weren't important--he was getting the intention just right.

...or the face of the legendary actor teacher who, as an actress drowned in her audition monologue, took her aside and whispered in her ear, transforming her performance.

To me, compassion in the arts is just like compassion in one's everyday life--it's about putting yourself in another person's shoes and feeling empathy for them in that moment--letting them know that they're okay, and that they're not alone. Put more simply, compassion is about making the effort to let others know in tough times--not just in the sunny times--that you are no different from them."

What I really want to highlight in Kim's sharing is the presence of compassion in some of the most successful people in the business: a big TV star, a director, a writer. I'm going to reach a bit here, because I know who the people are she's referring to! These artists, their success, and the compassion in their hearts is not coincidental. The compassion she's talking about is evident in their work. When this particular actress takes on a role, she's so clearly and deeply connected to the character, and its impact on her audience, that people can't help but identify themselves with her. That's not something you turn on and turn off; it's her way of being. If an artist wants the ability to connect with an audience, to create a real emotional resonance in his or her work, compassion is utterly necessary.

Thanks, Kim!

Brad Warner - "You can have compassion for anybody. You should!"

2009-04-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

Brad Warner, Zen priest, former punk rocker, and the amazingly talented writer of Hardcore Zen, Sit Down and Shut Up, and Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate, was kind enough to take the time to speak with me on his point of view on compassion and its role in the arts.

What's always struck me about Brad's writing is that it's completely reality-based. There's very little theory involved, even when he's describing difficult Buddhist concepts, he takes great pains to connect them to reality. Which is why I thought it'd be great to hear what he had to say about compassion.

When I first asked Brad about how he thought compassion relates to the way an artist takes on a project, he responded, "My teacher likes to say 'Buddhism is just realism.' So in order to portray a killer realistically, you have to play him as a real person. You can have compassion for anybody. You should!"

When we spoke later on, Brad explained why it was important for an actor to be compassionate towards a character when taking on a role:

"Anybody who does something well has to have a kind of compassion to do it well. Trying to do a performance that's meaningful, it's a kind of a key thing, especially for actors to have, and I think it's a natural thing, if you're good at it, you need that to do it.... to a certain extent society rewards that because they want to see it, they want to see people be compassionate."

Brad went on to explain that when we understand the suffering of others, we understand our interconnectedness with them, our shared humanity.

"Everybody needs some kind of help. There's nobody in the world who's got everything together and doesn't need any help. Interdependence is the reason you're compassionate. You recognize the interdependence and interconnectedness of things. You suffer if you're not compassionate. We think it's kind of arbitrary or 'it's a good thing' to be compassionate, but it's also an intelligent thing to be compassionate. It's the smartest move you can make, to act in a compassionate way. We normally think we want to get what we can for ourselves, and screw the other guy, and that's seen to be a way to make yourself richer or more powerful, and it works to a limited extent, but I don't think it works ultimately. The reason it's intelligent to act with compassion, because that's ultimately how you are going to feel better. So there's tremendous incentive to act that way. It's not just something you're doing for somebody else, it's something you're doing for yourself."

Thich Nhat Hanh, who I seem to be quoting in every entry, said:

“My right hand has written all the poems that I have composed. My left hand has not written a single poem. But my right hand does not think, ‘Left Hand, you are good for nothing.’ My right hand does not have a superiority complex. That is why it is very happy. My left hand does not have any complex at all. In my two hands there is the kind of wisdom called the wisdom of nondiscrimination. One day I was hammering a nail and my right hand was not very accurate and instead of pounding on the nail it pounded on my finger. It put the hammer down and took care of my left hand in a very tender way, as if it were taking care of itself. It did not say, ‘Left Hand, you have to remember that I have taken good care of you and you have to pay me back in the future.’ There was no such thinking. And my left hand did not say, “Right Hand, you have done me a lot of harm — give me that hammer, I want justice.’ My two hands know that they are members of one body; they are in each other.”

What Brad's saying is much the same, that we don't exist separately, we exist interdependently, and when that's portrayed by an actor, or shown by a director, a human audience is instinctively drawn to it. And how important it is to portray that honestly and powerfully:

"It's important work, because so many people are looking at it, and consuming it, it has such a huge influence, so it's not trivial work. Even though it might seem to be on some level. 'It's just acting, it's just a play, just a movie.' But so many people are looking at that and learning how to live from watching these films. You have to be careful."

Thanks, Brad, for the interview, and for the amazing books. Check out Brad's blog, Hardcore Zen, for more amazing insights!

James Suskin - Recipe for Compassion

2009-04-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

James Suskin, an old friend of mine, and a stellar manager and producer, shared this lovely recipe for compassion:

Recipe for Compassion
(serves all of humanity)

ingredients:
people (as many as you like)
a handful of time
infinite space

instructions:
1. at least one person other than yourself.
2. add a moment (this is the minimum recommended.)
3. be present. rest.
4. sit quietly and listen.
5. and share.

Enjoy!